kindly evalate my introduction i write on essay topic : " future of democracy in Pakistan"...please indicate my (1) level of language (2) grammer (3) flow of ideas and connectiosn b/w them (4) is this intro related with topic of essay etc...thnks



Democracy is Government of the people, by the people, for the people. Democracy is such a system of government which requires sincere politicians, independent judiciary and strong media. India and Pakistan were part of the same region ,had a long common history, shared trial and tribulations under British rule, fought war of independence hand in hand and drove the alien rulers out of the subcontinent who left behind Pakistan and India two independent states. In view of common past of both the states they were supposed to pursue somewhat similar politics of statehood but they moved to almost dramatically opposite directions. While India has remained democratic ever-since. On becoming independent ,India banned feudalism, its pioneering leadership lasted for almost sixteen years after independence. Pakistan is unfortunate in this regard. It lost the father of the Nation only a year after A junta of incompetent and selfish feudal hijacked the country. Many developments seems to occur in the recent past but still they not able to portray true picture of democracy in Pakistan.Pakistan is facing weak political system, Influence of Military, Feudalism, Power politics, Foreign interference,Terrorism, Bad relations with neighboring countries, Economic difficulties, Illiteracy, Unemployment, poverty and lack of political of awareness. Increase in Illiteracy, poverty, corruption, inflation, energy crises, worse law and order conditions and injustice. There should be need of strengthening political culture and accountability, eradication of illiteracy and economic uplift to pave democratic path in Pakistan.Our democratic system is still under constraints and need time and strong leadership for its growth

__________________
i can & i will