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'Aishah narrated that when a woman was married to an Ansari man, the Prophet (peace be on him) said, " 'Aishah, did they have any entertainment? The Ansar are fond of entertainment.'' (Reported by al-Bukhari.) Ibn 'Abbas said, " 'Aishah gave a girl relative of hers in marriage to a man of the Ansar. The Prophet (peace be on him) came and asked, 'Did you send a singer along with her?' 'No,' said 'Aishah. The Messenger of Allah (peace be on him) then said, The Ansar are a people who love poetry. You should have sent along someone who would sing, 'Here we come, to you we come, greet us as we greet you.' " (Reported by Ibn Majah.)
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In this above mentioned incident, our Holy Prophet (SAWW) himself asked Aishah to send a singer to the marriage ceremony for entertainment. Here one thing is very important, the lyrics of the song. If the song has such lyrics, then I think it is not haram, as our Prophet himself allowed it.
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'Aishah narrated that during the days of Mina, on the day of 'Eid al-Adha, two girls were with her, singing and playing on a hand drum. The Prophet (peace be on him) was present, listening to them with his head under a shawl. Abu Bakr then entered and scolded the girls. The Prophet (peace be on him), uncovering his face, told him, "Let them be, Abu Bakr. These are the days of 'Eid." (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
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Here it is obvious that playing with hand drum (DUFF) at the EID occasion was not declared as haram by our Holy Prophet (SAWW).
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The Prophet (peace be on him) warned of a severe punishment for people who sing or listen to singing in such a situation when he said, Some people of my Ummah will drink wine, calling it by another name, while they listen to singers accompanied by musical instruments. Allah will cause the earth to swallow them and will turn some of them into monkeys and swine. (Reported by Ibn Majah.) This does not mean that they will be physically transformed into the bodies and outward form of monkeys and swine but rather in heart and soul, carrying the heart of a monkey and the soul of a pig in their human bodies.
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In the above mentioned Hadith Mubarikah, the Arabic word "Ma'aazif" is used which means "Musical Instrument". So listening or playing to music alongwith Musical Instruments in haram, but with few exceptions, as "Duff" which was allowed by our Holy Prophet.
We should not have a rigid attitude towards these important things. But we should look into the the life of our Prophet (SAWW) deeply, to judge what is right and what is wrong. And I think, we dont have need to judge them, rather these are so evident that we can easily find the right path from them.
Thanks !!