Quote:
Originally Posted by seher bano
Umar Bhai Check this expansion, please. As your analysis and comments are worth reading.
CRISIS TESTS THE TRUE METTLE OF A MAN (CSS 2001)
The true worth and power of a man can only be judged when they are surrounded by problems.
- the true worth and power (use the word resolve) of a man can only be judged when he is surrounded by problems (faced with problems)
The brave and optimistic person always tries to find out solution to their problems.
-The brave and optimistic person always tries to find out solutions to his problems (either use singular or plural. Your sentence starts as singular and ends as plural)
However, Pessimistic and cowardice people always fail to address their problems.
- however, pessimists and cowards always fail to address their problems (cowardice is a noun and you have used it as an adjective)
They get worried and do not try to make the bad situation good.
Quad-e-Azam, The founder of Pakistan, was less popular until 1913 when he was the member of congress.
-Quaid-e-Azam, the Founder of Pakistan, was less popular until 1913, when he a member of the Congress.
When he joined the Muslim league and started to fight for the deprived Muslim of the subcontinent. Foe and friends got to know the true value of this man.
-When he joined the Muslim League and started to fight for the deprived Muslims of the subcontinent, friends and foes got to know the true value of this man.
He proved himself in the worse crisis of the subcontinent. In the same manner, M.M Alam, Pakistan Air Force officer, proved himself in 1965 Indo-Pak war.
It is well-documented fact that when he saw the jet fighter of the enemy, he hit five jet fighters in a minute, and inflicted heavy damages on the enemy.
-it is a well-documented fact that when he saw the enemy's jet fighters, he hit five of them in a minute, and inflicted heavy losses on the enemy
Similarly, if we zoom (look) in (to) the near past (recent past) we have (the) Russian invasion of Afghanistan where Taliban, when encounter(ed) war problem (aggression), started jihad against Russia (started jihad is wrong. it is waged jihad). Despite the fact that Taliban were weak, they compel(compelled) the Russians to drawdown (withdraw). In addition, if one have (has) a look on (at) the bitter ties of US-Iran, one can immediately have an idea (of) how Iran withstand(s) the pressure of US. She never bows down on its nuclear issue. This is how people got to know the true mettle of Iran. Conclusively, it is very true that man is judged in crisis. It is very easy to judge whether a person is brave, intellectual, optimistic, or pessimistic when they encounter problems. There can never be two opinions on the fact that crisis test the true mettle of a man. ( Words 288)
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Good Effort Sister! Seher I have highlighted some of the mistakes that I identified.
As I have said previously, expansion of an idea is based purely on the imagination of the one who attempts it. But why do you have to involve country, politics or international affairs in a topic that you could have dealth with otherwise. this leaves the door open for two things:
-you may come across a person who does not have the same political or religious views as you have (and nobody is unbiased) and you may get penalized for it.
-You may make a mistake (for example: in your case you used the word Taliban for a group that was called Mujahideen. in fact it was not just one group, but numerous (around 6 major) Mujahideen factions that fought against the Russians. Taliban are a relatively more recent phenomenon).
you should attempt expansions in a more general form. For example:
crisis tests the true mettle of man
-When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
-When the s*** hits the fan, some guys run, some guys stand (Al-Pacino)
-when faced with adversity, some succumb to the pressures and throw in the towel
-Such are the ones, forgotten by history, killed by time
-Others face whatever the destiny throws at them with resolve
-Such are the ones who live on forever in the annals of the history
-Ordinarily, man can wear any mask to hide his true character and mettle.
-he may boast of his bravery, his ambition, his craftsmanship, his cunning
-but, adversity is the true litmus test for the character of men
-During crises, men can no more fake their characters. They are forced to reveal themselves. the are made to exhibit their true mettle
-History is witness to the fact that it is only during crises or adversities, that men of substance rise to the glory that is so envied by the rest of the mankind
-A True man is the one, who, when faced with hardships, resolves to overcome them through shear resolve and strength of character.
-Be it Jinnah or Mandela, Churchill or the famous 300 Spartan warriors against the Persian empire, historians record that all of them achieved the impossible in the face of extreme opposition and adverse conditions. That is the reason why, history applauds them and remembers them.
-It can be safely concluded, that it is only a crisis, that brings out the true mettle of a man!
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainaveed
it throws light on basic instinctive behaviour of humans that if they are constantly kept under adverse situations they learn to evolve and their response to stress just keeps on improving until they come up with the best possible solution.If parents consistently evaluate the performance of their child from every perspective,it is quite natural for a child to put an extra effort even in his/her daily activities to comply with the expectations of his/her parents and most of the times it will result in better outcomes.on the other hand,this constant interference of parents might be taken negatively by the child,compelling him to use unfair means to cheat his/her parents and pushing the child into depths of despair and turning him/her into a social outcast.loads of such examples can be quoted where parents' over expectations caused an irreversible damage to the personality of their children and it gave birth of never ending conflicts spanning over their lifetimes.So,it is quite a sensitive issue which needs to be handled with great care and good strategy.If the parents use this regime wisely it is likely that it will make their child more mentally sound,more skillful and more refined human being.positive criticism,compassion and positive re-enforcement remain the key to shape children into successful persons.
Give your valuable comments and point out the mistakes. Thanks
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A very good effort for a start up. I believe the topic was somewhat similar to "strict parents and crafty children" ? please post the original topic. if the topic is similar to what I have posted, then brother/sister you have missed the true spirit of the expansion.
The topic required you to write about the fact that no matter how perfect a system becomes, those who are intelligent enough (and that system does produce intelligent people)_will find loopholes in it or figure out a way to work around it. This is what hacking is. Anyways anybody is entitled to expand it in any way he/she wishes to.