Originally Posted by umarabbas

Good Effort Sister! Seher I have highlighted some of the mistakes that I identified.

As I have said previously, expansion of an idea is based purely on the imagination of the one who attempts it. But why do you have to involve country, politics or international affairs in a topic that you could have dealth with otherwise. this leaves the door open for two things:

-you may come across a person who does not have the same political or religious views as you have (and nobody is unbiased) and you may get penalized for it.
-You may make a mistake (for example: in your case you used the word Taliban for a group that was called Mujahideen. in fact it was not just one group, but numerous (around 6 major) Mujahideen factions that fought against the Russians. Taliban are a relatively more recent phenomenon).

you should attempt expansions in a more general form. For example:

crisis tests the true mettle of man
-When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
-When the s*** hits the fan, some guys run, some guys stand (Al-Pacino)
-when faced with adversity, some succumb to the pressures and throw in the towel
-Such are the ones, forgotten by history, killed by time
-Others face whatever the destiny throws at them with resolve
-Such are the ones who live on forever in the annals of the history
-Ordinarily, man can wear any mask to hide his true character and mettle.
-he may boast of his bravery, his ambition, his craftsmanship, his cunning
-but, adversity is the true litmus test for the character of men
-During crises, men can no more fake their characters. They are forced to reveal themselves. the are made to exhibit their true mettle
-History is witness to the fact that it is only during crises or adversities, that men of substance rise to the glory that is so envied by the rest of the mankind
-A True man is the one, who, when faced with hardships, resolves to overcome them through shear resolve and strength of character.
-Be it Jinnah or Mandela, Churchill or the famous 300 Spartan warriors against the Persian empire, historians record that all of them achieved the impossible in the face of extreme opposition and adverse conditions. That is the reason why, history applauds them and remembers them.
-It can be safely concluded, that it is only a crisis, that brings out the true mettle of a man!