Quote:
Originally Posted by engr sarakhan
kindly check my expansion........
The quotation (use adage. a quote is something that can be traced back to the source) reflects a reality of life. After a bad time there is always a good time. In the life of a person there comes numerous occasions when (where) he encounters challenging and difficult circumstances but one may see that such conditions remain only for a specific (short) duration of time and after this time span the person may enjoy some good time. So in difficult time(s) one should not get disappointed and one should hope for the best.
If we study the life of Muhammad (PBUH), when He, for the first time, announced openly that he is the last messenger of Allah, the Quraish and most of the close relatives of Muhammad denied the fact. Only a few persons believed Him. The non-believers started teasing (persecuting) Muhammad and His companions and after a short time they were get (remove get) exiled from Mecca into (to) Abi-thalib,a region near Mecca. The Quraish socially boycotted the Muslims. Every one was directed not to help the Muslims and there were sanctions imposed on the supply of food and other necessary goods to them. This was a very tough (trying could be used as well) time for the Muslims. The Quraish further increased their torture, they did not allow the Muslims for prayer(s). And the Muslims were compelled to leave Mecca and finally they left Mecca for Madina. The Muslims started leading a peaceful life there, they preached Islam openly in Madina and after a very short time a huge number of people get entered (replace get entered with embraced Islam) into the circle of Islam. The Muslims get (got) strengthened (strong) and they conquered Mecca and this was the end of the bad time and start of golden time for the Muslims. Similarly when a person starts his education, with the passage of time his challenges and work load increases and sometime he gets disappointed due to the exponential increase in the challenges that he faces and hence he thinks that he will always be busy in tackling such type of problems. But this is not the case, after passing through all these difficult stages, he reaches to a point where he is awarded a degree for all that hard work, challenges and problems that he faced. And this is certainly a time for him at which he feels joy and happiness. In short, good and bad time are parts of life. Whenever we are facing a bad time, we should not be disappointed but should hope for the best time and this is also the teaching of Islam.
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Good Miss. Engr! Splendid work. I have highlighted any grammatical mistakes that I am able to identify (in brackets)
well a tip or two:
-8000+ candidates appear. and there may be 5 expansions (let us assume). So there is an equally probability for the expansions to be attempted (although it will be skewed in reality). So 1600+ candidates may be solving this particular expansion in the paper. There is this fine line between ordinary and extra-ordinary. You have to try to catch the checker's eye/attention. He should like what you have written (like = enjoy reading it).
To get that, you could have used an adage to support this one. For example IF autumn is here, can spring be far behind. This will immediately tell the checker that you know what you are talking about.
Start using clever analogies and lesser of the example: in your case, the example takes more than half of your expansion. I mean (and people are requested to differ) if I am going through your expansion, this is the series of messages that I get:
(1) This is a quotation and pretty much reality of life (I substituted adage here). But an adage is supposed to be a reality
Anyways a good start because I know that you know that at least this adage is true
(2) Message = After bad times there are good times.
(3) Message = a person MAY enjoy good times after bad times. MAY Enjoy? Miss you are writing in favor of this topic and you should write, WILL enjoy good times.
Till now, you have had me as confused as you were while writing it.
(4) Message = Bad times will be over and one should hope for the best. Why not make a struggle to change things? why wait for the divine intervention?
So the message is: This is a reality of life and there will be good times after bad times. I may enjoy good times after this bad times. during this time all I need to do is hope for the best
(5) Quraish Example. Okay they were bad people
(6) Next line = Quraish were bad people
(7) Quraish = the worst zalimeen on the planet.
but how does that relate to what the topic is. It is related to the topic but it could have been covered in a single line. "Even the Prophet SAW faced hardships during the start of his prophet hood but He never lost hope in His cause. He continued preaching regardless of the atrocities by his opponents." or something like that.
So a few important lessons for all us today:
(1) Coherency of Thoughts. The previous line should match this present line in terms of meaning and message (either support it or add substance to it)
(2) Choose the right words
(3) Small examples (just to prove what you have already written. don't turn it an Islamiat paper or an article on history)
(4) Use clever analogies and catchy statements. Reminds me of something from the movie Matrix "Hope, Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength.." !!!