Know your English
``HI! COME on in. Did your cousin get the job?''
``We are not really sure.''
``Why not? He did well at the interview, didn't he?''
``He must have. But the man who interviewed him says that he'll give him the job provided my cousin pays him something in return.''
``He wants a bribe, eh? Why doesn't he give him
a piece of bread and get it over with?''
``A piece of bread! I wish it were that simple. The man wants....''
``....but that's what a bribe amounted to. Don't you know that?''
``You mean to say that
when you bribed someone, you gave him a piece of bread?''
``Exactly!
The word `bribe', some people believe, originally meant a piece of bread. In the old days, when fairly well to do people went for a walk, they used to carry bread in their pockets. When beggars used to harass them for money, they used to dip into their pockets and give them a piece of bread instead.''
``Since the rich man wanted to be left in peace, he gave the poor man a piece of bread.''
``It was a bribe to stop pestering him.''
``That's interesting. If only the same practice continued even today, then...''
``.... many houses would be stinking of stale bread.''
``We would be talking about bread scam rather than urea scam!''
``Tell me, are you planning on joining the new computer course?''
``No, I am not. It's very expensive. The fee.....''
``....how much is it going to cost you?
Two cows or three cows?''
``Two or three cows! What are you talking about?''
``
That's what the word `fee' means. It comes from the Anglo Saxon `feoh' meaning `cattle'.''
``But what is the connection between cattle and money?''
``Well, in the old days, cattle represented a man's wealth. The more cattle an individual had, the more money he had.''
``I see. I wonder what would happen if I took some stray cattle and walked into .....''
``...they wouldn't let you anywhere near the building.''
``That's true. Anyway, what's the silly movie you are watching?''
``I have no idea what the movie is called. It's about this kid who gets rescued by a soldier. Later, they....''
``.... speaking about soldiers. My cousin Ravi has joined the army. He told me that he is going to be in the
infantry.''
``Is your cousin an infant?''
``No, he isn't. He wouldn't be able to join the army if he were.''
``That's true. Any way, this movie....''
``....wait a minute! Are you saying that
there is a connection between `infant' and `infantry'?''
``Don't you see any connection?''
``Well, both words look alike, but that's about it. An `infant' is a child. And `infantry' is a term that is used in the army. I don't see any connection.''
``Well, there is a connection. You see, the word `
infant' comes from the Latin `infans' which means `unable to speak'. So, the original infant was a child who hadn't begun to speak as yet.''
``But these days, in some countries, children less than the age of seven are called infants. Surely they would know how to speak and write!''
``That's true. The meaning of the word has changed somewhat. Now coming to the word ``infantry'. You see....''
``....don't tell me the infantry consisted of little children who didn't know how to speak.''
``No, I am not saying that.
The original infantry consisted of young men. Youths, shall we say, and they...''
``....but surely these men could speak?''
``Of course, they could. But they were not expected to.
Since they were all very junior people in the army, they were not expected to speak unless they were spoken to.''
``Since they couldn't speak on their own, I guess that's why they were called `infants'.''
''That's right.``
``Are you keen on watching this movie?''
``Yes, could you become an `infant' for the next hour or so?''
``Am I supposed to give you some cattle for letting me watch this movie?''
* * *
`
`Speeches are like babies - easy to conceive, but hard to deliver.''
- Pat O' Malley
S. UPENDRAN