Dear Buriro, I gave the intro of your essay to my mentor Mudassir Saeed and ask him to check it. After reading it, he commented that it's a newspaper style and should be re-modelled to suit best in formal essay format. After getting from him the checked copy, e'm posting it here. You should carefully read to evaluate the rest of your essay.

Moreover, some lines are marked with red colour which shows that these (and some other too) have not been updated. Their have been significant developments in the aftermath of Operation Zarb-e-Azb, which, as these lines show, have been omitted.

Here is the checked version of your essay's intro;

At present, the gravest problem that Pakistan faces is of terrorism. The terrorist has become a nightmare for the state and the public alike. Though, the issue is a global one but (prefer ‘yet’, however, but can be used), unfortunately, it is Pakistan that has to bear the chief brunt of it. Pakistan’s active involvement in the War on Terror has further fuelled the fire. We (avoid using 1st and 2nd person in your formal writings) are facing war-like situation at our home state. There are several factors responsible for this daunting situation; the most important of which are social injustice, economic disparity, political instability, religious intolerance and, last but not the least, external hands. A handful of people who, so as to serve their vicious interests through employing barbaric tactics, have not only taken countless innocent lives but also distorted the real image of Islam in the world. Several acts of terrorism like suicide bombings have become a common phenomenon of the day. On account of these attacks, today, Pakistan is suffering from ineffaceable loss ranging from civilian to economic. People have become numerical figures, blown up in numbers every now and then. Terrorists have not spared any place. Bazars, mosques, educational institutes, offices, hotels, no place is safe anymore.