Good attempt. Here is my take on few things:

Focus a bit on the dark and desolate side of wars; how wars obviate nations from attaining acme by diverting their intellectual and financial capital, sapping the citizenry of its vim etc should be included.

Aren't your points kind of verbose or is it something wrong with the punctuation? That said, I am sure you can rely more on your repository of adjectives and less on jargons and relatively obscure terms (economic regionalism etc). My observation is that a good essay is usually devoid of jargons and is inundated with flowery expression.

Last but not the least, I admire your use of adjectives in the outline for this could give you an edge over those who write prosaic lines.