I have read your precis. It is well attempted; must be passed. Your title is also apprpriative and you did not make mistake in the very first sentence as well. The flow and vocabulary is better but it could have been even more better if you had usedsome idioms. The standered of vocabulary is fine. Baki I will comment on your comprehension later on.

Candidates are delibrately criticizing you, your composition is not thut bad. In my opinion you are slaughtered in the buthering tradition of FPSC.

As far as you are talking about highly qualified candidates who assesed your composition and papers, they all are right. My friends including M.Phil English literature, another candidate graduated from abroad reputed institution with distingsioned and many others were brutally buthered in composition paper. On the other hand, below average candidates managed to pass composition. This is all fragile assesment done by FPSC and nothing else.

If you have attempt at your dispodal, I would suggest you to go for it, prepare well. In Pakistan, CSS means to gamble your life.