Quote:
Originally Posted by Abuturab
Firstly, thank you for your constructive criticism. Don't you think that opening the essay containing all that you are going to discuss is a very tasteless and clichéd way of starting an essay? I did try to set the tone of the essay by agreeing to the need of good governance(sort of a thesis statement) and gave an emotional reason, just to rouse the readers interest to read further which was purely technical.
This intro has helped me to connect with the conclusion as well where I finally discuss the outcome of good governance: the realization of the 'hope' that was discussed in the opening paragraph.
Is this approach right? Please opine and criticize because that's how I will learn.
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Thanks for taking the criticism positive and constructive.
Your intro is a glimpse of the direction you'll take your essay towards. You should not show all your cards in it surely.
As for your view of connecting your intro with conclusion is concerned, I have never read an essay where the end is alluded to in the beginning. It's a risk in my opinion! The same sentence can be written with some other collection or selection of words where the examiner doesn't take it wrong. I can just give an example...
'Good Governance is considered a sine qua non for a nation's progression towards economic and social development in the present era. In spite of worldwide fanfare of the trite, Pakistan has been unable to achieve laudable milestones in this regard...'
Again I'd say that picking out mistakes in essay and giving an opinion in this regard is a very tricky thing. Something that worked for me may or may not work for you. You may agree or disagree!
And yes your setting of the tone to the agreement that G.G. is critical to the achievement of progress is good.