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  #1  
Old Thursday, April 05, 2012
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Default plz check it "man is the architecture of his own destiny"

man is the architecture of his own destiny
Man is the most special creation of Allah .Man has been endowed all qualities and capabilities .Man is the great artist who carves his fate by determination and will .fate can not make a man .It is a man who is great architecture of his own destiny as he possessed , will power , and hope etc Moreover man has been endowed with reason and intellect , he can reason out things well and can arrive at definite conclusion. I if he put whole heart on his work definitely he will arrive at their destination .Any misappropriate action will lead to dark
man is nucleus on the earth he can make their fate.if he take appropriate action it will lead to their destination while any misappropriate action will lead to dark so right guide line is very important to reach their destination .Nothing impossible in this world which a man can achieve ever thing is possible it depend upon us how we handle the situation for example bill gate is one of greatest personality .in early days ,he was selling apple on the cart he was very poor gradually his fortune smile on his face He become successful person in the mission just put whole heart on their work further more newton was a great scientist. once upon at time he sat under the tree an was fall on the earth. he felt why did it fall on the earth.he wanted to find a reason of falling apple .already so man scientists try to find the reason of falling apple but their fall in their mission so newton find the scientific reason of falling apple . he got successful in their mission so he got their destination so man can their destiny

lastly man has been endowed with reason and intellect .He can reason out things well and possessed various qualities and capabilities.he can make or mar his destiny .
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  #2  
Old Thursday, April 05, 2012
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hmm a good attempt but it has some flaws as you lost your flow many times.
For example when you wrote "as he possessed , will power , and hope etc ", here the use of "etc" is loosing the charm of sentence.
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Old Thursday, April 05, 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghulamal15 View Post
man is the architecture of his own destiny
Man is the most special creation of Allah .Man has been endowed all qualities and capabilities .Man is the great artist who carves his fate by determination and will .fate can not make a man .It is a man who is great architecture of his own destiny as he possessed , will power , and hope etc Moreover man has been endowed with reason and intellect , he can reason out things well and can arrive at definite conclusion. I if he put whole heart on his work definitely he will arrive at their destination .Any misappropriate action will lead to dark
man is nucleus on the earth he can make their fate.if he take appropriate action it will lead to their destination while any misappropriate action will lead to dark so right guide line is very important to reach their destination .Nothing impossible in this world which a man can achieve ever thing is possible it depend upon us how we handle the situation for example bill gate is one of greatest personality .in early days ,he was selling apple on the cart he was very poor gradually his fortune smile on his face He become successful person in the mission just put whole heart on their work further more newton was a great scientist. once upon at time he sat under the tree an was fall on the earth. he felt why did it fall on the earth.he wanted to find a reason of falling apple .already so man scientists try to find the reason of falling apple but their fall in their mission so newton find the scientific reason of falling apple . he got successful in their mission so he got their destination so man can their destiny

lastly man has been endowed with reason and intellect .He can reason out things well and possessed various qualities and capabilities.he can make or mar his destiny .
Good effort...!!!

However, focus on coherence in English writing and try to remove grammatical mistakes.
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Old Thursday, April 05, 2012
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@ ghulamal15
from my point of view u have made following mistakes.if i am wrong plz let me know thanks....

It is a man who is great architecture(architect) of his own destiny as he possessed possesses[B],[/(no comma)B] will power , and hope. Moreover man has been endowed with( the quality of reasoning) reason and intellect .
if he put whole heart on (for) his work definitely he will arrive at their destination .Any misappropriate (unappropriate i think) action (instead of will i think u should use can )will lead (him) to dark.
man is nucleus on the earth he can make their fate.if he take appropriate action it will lead (him) to their (his as it is singular) destination.while any misappropriate action will lead to dark (i think no need of it donot repeat again and again)so right guide line is very important to reach their (for reaching his) destination.
Nothing (is) impossible in this world (i think ,) which a man can(can't) achieve (.) ever (every) thing is possible (,) it depend upon us how we handle the situation for example bill gate is one of greatest personality .in early days ,he was selling (used to sell ) apple(s) on the cart(,) he was very poor gradually his fortune smile (sparkled).....

sorry for the rest i will do it later inshaALLAH ... dear it was a v nice effort ..plz keep on doing practice inshaALLAH u will achieve ur goals soon.. and correct me too if i am wrong ....
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Old Friday, April 06, 2012
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Default man.......

es me kisi writer ke authantic qutation b likhni chiay thi..........!
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Old Friday, April 06, 2012
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Default Correction

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghulamal15 View Post
plz check it "man is the architecture of his own destiny"

man is the architecture of his own destiny
Man is the most special creation of Allah .Man has been endowed all qualities and capabilities .Man is the great artist who carves his fate by determination and will .fate can not make a man .It is a man who is great architect of his own destiny as he possesse, will power , and hope etc Moreover man has been endowed with all qualities of reason and intellect , he can reason out things well and can arrive at definite conclusion. I if he put whole heart on his work definitely he will arrive at their destination .Any misappropriate action will lead to dark
man is nucleus on the earth he can make their fate .if he take appropriate action it will lead to their destination while any misappropriate action will lead to dark so right guide line is very important to reach their destination .Nothing is impossible in this world which a man can achieve ever thing is possible it depend upon us how we handle the situation for example bill gate is one of greatest personality .in early days ,he used to sell apple on the cart he was very poor gradually his fortune sparked on his face He become successful person in the mission just put whole heart on their work further more Newton was a great scientist. Once upon at time he sat under the tree an was fall on the earth. he felt why did it fall on the earth .he wanted to find a reason of falling apple .already so man scientists try to find the reason of falling apple but their fall in their mission so Newton find the scientific reason of falling apple . he got successful in their mission so he got their destination so man can their destiny

lastly man has been endowed with reason and intellect .He can reason out things well and possessed various qualities and capabilities .he can make or mar his destiny

request to arise my mistake i want to improve it
Dear the title of your post should be

'Please highlight my mistake'

Secondly, the title of your paragraph should be

'Man is the architect of his own destiny'

Also I noted some puntuation mistakes in your post. Full stop should immediately follow the last word of a sentence without insertion of a spacing. Please try to focus on it.

Regards,
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Old Friday, April 06, 2012
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Assalam o Alaikum,


Looks at the mistakes which khankhajjak figure out in your writing.Please take special care about punctuation and grammar.

Quote:
bill gate
Its should be start with capital latter "Bill Gate" .Practice makes man perfect, overall good effort,continue it.

All the best,
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Last edited by Umer; Friday, April 06, 2012 at 11:41 PM. Reason: Duplicate thread link removed
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