Comment please: Impossible is often untried

[batoolj]

My first try for a paragraph I know its lacking in many areas but I wanted to get a wider range of criticism so be harsh but don't break my aspirant heart.

The human realm has always differentiated their tasks, wishes and desires in one dichotomy impossible and possible. Anything that seems achievable is said to be possible while the deeds that seem unattainable are deemed impossible. A normal prudent human is naturally inclined to go after a pursuit that is attainable, fear of failure often renders us useless. This feeling of inadequacy to perform a task that seems impossible, makes a man steer clear off the idea of ever trying it. Robert frost in his poem “The road not taken” describes exactly the fear of those uncommon paths to desires.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
He says that taking that less traveled path made all the difference, which is consequently proved true for those who tried this metaphorical road less traveled. Theirs have been the names we still remember. The wright brothers dreaming of flying and fulfilling that dream atlast. Man going into the space and then setting foot on the Moon. Everest being conquered by both men and women. The dream Martin Luther king had of people being equal regardless of their race. There are hundreds of examples of those daring to face the fear of potential failure and conquering it. Like Thomas Edison said “I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” The impossible is only impossible because it is untried.

[Muhammad T S Awan]

AoA

Prima facie its not a bad attempt, but needs lot of improvement, e.g

o Try to improve your grammar
o Its always better to use small/simple sentences
o Do not add poetry in paragraph of css. Either use excerpts of poetry or a verse at the start or end of the paragraph, but dont add many poetic lines in the pargagraph
o This paragraph lacks cohesion/continuity.

[batoolj]

Thanks for taking the time to read my attempt. Points duly noted.

[Ahmed Faisal]

Originally Posted by batoolj

Thanks for taking the time to read my attempt. Points duly noted.

Few points which i have learned from my seniors:
Characteristics of the paragraph which you must keep in your mind before writing any paragraph:
1. First line or sentence of the paragraph should be your Topic sentence (the sentence on which your whole paragraph depends)
2. The second sentence onwards all the sentences are called specific support ( the sentences which support your topic sentence)
3. You must discuss one idea, not two and three, in one paragraph.
4. Don's try to use bombastic language, infect, Dawn news paper pattern is highly appreciated.
5. Every sentence of your paragraph must be coherent and precise, they should be look like a necklaces . in addition they must beautifully linked with each other and ultimately support the main sentence that is your topic sentence.
HOPE IT HELPS

[shanawar ali khan]

i consider it a good attempt at initial stage.