Solved precis CE-2020
 

Need Input.

Title: Manto’s rational approach towards human nature and sexism

Manto was targeted by his opponents, in the name of falsely claimed righteousness, who claimed non-ethical existence in his work. However, he was firm in his exploration of reality of life, against conservatism of the so-called purists. Like Freud, he uncovered sexual concerns above fantasy, in its real domain as a socio-economic ill of society. Manto adopted a central way in explaining the nature of man and his behaviour in diverse fields of society. Hence, this gained him laudable popularity amongst hai followers. While reflecting lackings of human nature, Manto used his artistic approach to maintain sophistication in his write-ups. His style allowed people to related themselves, as a self-reflection mechanism to Manto’s thoughts.

The phrase " non-ethical existence in his work" doesn't make any sense. You can say 'unethical content', or 'ethically questionable' themes in his works.

This line : "he uncovered sexual concerns above fantasy" needs revision, because it suggests that he prioritized sexual 'concerns' over fantastical ones, and that doesn't sound right to me.

What do you mean by "central way"?

You've made up a new word: 'lackings'. You should replace it with something appropriate, like weaknesses perhaps.

It would be better to use 'stories/narratives/tales/fiction' instead of the word 'write-ups'.

"His style allowed people to related themselves, as a self-reflection mechanism to Manto’s thoughts." This line makes your meaning very ambiguous. I don't know what you're trying to convey here. People don't "relate themselves" or even "relate to themselves"! They relate to others.

From what I see, you need to use simpler words and achieve clarity in your language. There are grammatical problems, as well as usage of words without knowing their actual meaning or even knowing whether those words exist.

[QUOTE=MuneezaRafiq;1108710]The phrase " non-ethical existence in his work" doesn't make any sense. You can say 'unethical content', or 'ethically questionable' themes in his works.

This line : "he uncovered sexual concerns above fantasy" needs revision, because it suggests that he prioritized sexual 'concerns' over fantastical ones, and that doesn't sound right to me.

What do you mean by "central way"?

You've made up a new word: 'lackings'. You should replace it with something appropriate, like weaknesses perhaps.

It would be better to use 'stories/narratives/tales/fiction' instead of the word 'write-ups'.

"His style allowed people to related themselves, as a self-reflection mechanism to Manto’s thoughts." This line makes your meaning very ambiguous. I don't know what you're trying to convey here. People don't "relate themselves" or even "relate to themselves"! They relate to others.

From what I see, you need to use simpler words and achieve clarity in your language. There are grammatical problems, as well as usage of words without knowing their actual meaning or even knowing whether those words exist.[/QUOTE]


1. Yes I agree , I made an error. It should have been unethical (not non-ethical)
2. Uncovered sexual concerns above fantasy means the same as to prioritise sexual concerns in socio-economic sphere and not just mere romance.
3. Central way= moderate way
4. Lacking is a valid word (adjective). You may google it.
5. Write-up is like a original piece of one’s writing. And the words you suggest are synonymous to it.
6. Relate themselves to Manto’s thoughts (you may read the entire senstence).

However, I agree that the overall syntax seems complex. I appreciate your feedback. Thank you :)

Lacking is an adjective, but you used it as a noun. Instead, lack should be used.

[QUOTE=MuneezaRafiq;1108744]Lacking is an adjective, but you used it as a noun. Instead, lack should be used.[/QUOTE]

Can you please also have a look at the psychology paper outlines I’ve uploaded in CE-2020 section 🙏🏻

You wrote "he uncovered sexual concerns above fantasy," which Is completely opposite of what is written in the original text and that is "He sought to unravel the mysteries of sex, not in an abstract non-earthly manner but in a palpable"

[QUOTE=MuneezaRafiq;1108710]The phrase " non-ethical existence in his work" doesn't make any sense. You can say 'unethical content', or 'ethically questionable' themes in his works.

This line : "he uncovered sexual concerns above fantasy" needs revision, because it suggests that he prioritized sexual 'concerns' over fantastical ones, and that doesn't sound right to me.

What do you mean by "central way"?

You've made up a new word: 'lackings'. You should replace it with something appropriate, like weaknesses perhaps.

It would be better to use 'stories/narratives/tales/fiction' instead of the word 'write-ups'.

"His style allowed people to related themselves, as a self-reflection mechanism to Manto’s thoughts." This line makes your meaning very ambiguous. I don't know what you're trying to convey here. People don't "relate themselves" or even "relate to themselves"! They relate to others.

From what I see, you need to use simpler words and achieve clarity in your language. There are grammatical problems, as well as usage of words without knowing their actual meaning or even knowing whether those words exist.[/QUOTE]
I have also written precise. Please check mine, too.

Manto's Success: Living with Struggle

The lack of acceptance by society made Manto a rebel. He was considered obnoxious because of his writings. Despite being criticized by negative and religious people, he remained firm in his plans. Like Freud, he used to remain concerned about neglected social class people. To him, man was both good and bad. Through characters, he wanted to show that lower and middle class people are also human beings. His social issue based writings made him successful in influencing readers. He was quite aware of the missing nexus between saying and acting, and he portrayed this at various levels. About man, he had neutral perceptions to their mistakes. Artistically, he shared about vulgarity without embarrassing anyone. In Manto's writings, problems faced by men and women are rightly reflected like in other writers' work. Similar to those writers, Manto got success due to his passion.

[QUOTE=Virtual Education Library;1112623]I have also written precise. Please check mine, too.

Manto's Success: Living with Struggle

The lack of acceptance by society made Manto a rebel. He was considered obnoxious because of his writings. Despite being criticized by negative and religious people, he remained firm in his plans. Like Freud, he used to remain concerned about neglected social class people. To him, man was both good and bad. Through characters, he wanted to show that lower and middle class people are also human beings. His social issue based writings made him successful in influencing readers. He was quite aware of the missing nexus between saying and acting, and he portrayed this at various levels. About man, he had neutral perceptions to their mistakes. Artistically, he shared about vulgarity without embarrassing anyone. In Manto's writings, problems faced by men and women are rightly reflected like in other writers' work. Similar to those writers, Manto got success due to his passion.[/QUOTE]

There is a sequence of thought in the original passage which should be followed in the precis. (1) How people treated Manto (2) how he reacted ...and so on. So your first sentence should become the second sentence, following this sequence.

You are wrong in thinking that the author has pointed out a similarity between Freud and Manto based on social status. Read carefully. The author says that Manto was similar to Freud in the sense that he too tried to discover the true nature of sex, especially in relation to the lower class like prostitutes and pimps. The focus is on sexual themes.

You have missed out on Manto's focus on dualities of human nature; good vs. evil, appearance vs. reality which the author has pointed out in paragraph 2.

Your phrase "social issue based writings " should be hyphenated, better yet, it should be rephrased.

Your words "he shared about vulgarity " should be rephrased to "he expressed" or "wrote about" vulgarity without resorting to vulgar writing.

Please check mine precie too.
 

Manto's Success: Living with Struggle
Mento was a sufferer of critics who marked his writings as offensive thoughts. He was not discouraged by them and remained firm to his commitment to analyze realities of life offensiveness. Like Freud, he prioritized sexual concerns over fantastical ones. So, Mento was able to build a rapport with his readers on some socio-economic issues related to them. As a realist, Mento was aware of the difference between appearance and reality, and As a literary artist, he dealt with vulgarity without using offensive thoughts. Like Joyce, Lawrence, and Caldwell, Mento raised his level by his devotion.

How is my precis
 

Manto, a literary writer and a realist, was greatly concerned with the social and moral issues of those who eke out a marginal existence. To him, all humans have common nature and feelings irrespective of their social stratum. But the class concious hypocrites perturbed him much. In his writing, he thus addressed the bitter realities of the society for which he, on the one hand, maintained a tenor with his readers while om the other hand, was labelled with allegations like his predecessors. He wrote on vulgarity sans being vulgar and without any discrimination, provided a platform to address the restive interests of all.

Title: Manto's account of reality