|
Precis Writing for CSS 2010
Hi....here we will practice the precis of the shared passages and its mistakes, comments, improvements along with certain suggestions by experienced guys to groom aspirants of 2010 02 11....
here we go. Make a [B]precis[/B] of following ALL is not well with the delivery of social services in Pakistan. There have been reports of poor performance, corruption and inefficiency in the education, health, housing and population sectors. Red tape is said to be a factor in the failure of government schools to utilise funds allocated to them. Recently, an MNA died in a government hospital in Islamabad and an independent inquiry attributed his death to medical negligence. Two allied departments of the housing ministry that is supposedly working to provide low-cost shelter to the poor have been rated among the ten most corrupt organisations in Pakistan by Transparency International. One could go on. The poor state of sanitation and water supply and the weak social safety net testify to the state’s inability to provide people basic facilities and services. Unfortunately, over the years people have increasingly been left to fend for themselves to meet their needs for education, healthcare and so on. We are sympathetic to the constraints of the state: it does not have adequate resources, it does not have the most qualified manpower, political instability is a constant factor that makes long-term policy-making and implementation problematic. But the very point of a government is to try and improve things. Presently, the government has achieved some success on stabilising the finances of the state, but the policy side elsewhere looks very weak. The problems associated with delivering basic services to the people are not all about a lack of financial resources. For years, bottlenecks at the institutional level have meant that PSDP funds have not been utilised even where made available. Pouring more funds into a broken system with little direction and sense of purpose means that as nation we will continue to stumble along indefinitely unless our elected officials show some resolve outside isolated pockets. |
[B][COLOR="Blue"]Precis[/COLOR][/B]
It is a dilemma that appraisal of underprivileged performance, corruption with inadequate education, health, shelter and population sector is a miserable demonstration. The inefficacy and loathsome characteristics of doctors are worsening their profession by not only resulting a bad dream for poor masses but ministers as well. Global reports are widening the gulf between social beauty of honesty and institutions which are ensuing the formation of corrupt society and ultimately overwhelming the whole country. The awkward water supply and sanitation facilities, inappropriate resources in qualified manpower and political haphazardness are the ingredients to make long term plans and their implications, an evident failure. It is not only the ‘financial sources’ a factor to be basic service of public on the whole. The Government’s initiative to ameliorate the deficits of primary facilities can only bring change in traditionally isolated system. A system where the leaders are defiant to put it gainfully. [COLOR="DarkRed"][B][U][SIZE="4"]Topic:[/SIZE][/U][/B][/COLOR] [I]How Services become long term problems[/I] |
DEMOCRACY is the best form of government while the local district government is the best form of local self-government.This is because the principle of transfer of power to the grassroots level cannot be better protected in any other system. I would like to ask the advocates of the old commissioner system as to how they would lay the foundation of true democracy in a society which does not accept people’s right of choosing the best way of running their lo cal councils. The argument often put against the concept of the local district government is that it will serve as a tool against political parties and strengthen the hands of military dictators, thus leading to the weakening of democracy.
The fact is that democracy is strengthened by the establishment of a local government. That is why all mature, as well as progressive, democracies have local government bodies that serve their citizens. [B][I]summary of the above paragraph....is it rightly pointed out[/I][/B] The writer is elucidating the implication of the local government system. The commissioners can not convince the consent of the common people by overlapping their elected representative councils. Its is an antiquated theory that local government system is the tool of dictators endangering democratic setup. But the apposite fact is that system appropriates the established and upright democracies by grass root representation. |
i didnt find any suggestions or mistakes pointed out by u guys
does that mean its alright to go with it |
dear, u left nthng to fill....ur attempt has the worth to appreciate...try to move on,and touch the apex....
|
[QUOTE=Riaz Ahmed Alizai;160457]dear, u left nthng to fill....ur attempt has the worth to appreciate...try to move on,and touch the apex....[/QUOTE]
Thanx..... It tuk 32 minutes in doing that precis is that ok or im taking more time to dmake it done. |
[QUOTE=KAWISH;160471]aoa respected seniors im new here need your help in essay writing.please also suggest some topics.regards.Noor[/QUOTE]
[url]http://www.cssforum.com.pk/css-compulsory-subjects/essay/29667-important-essay-topics-2010-a.html[/url] jz go here....n search out the Essay part of compulsory subjects you will find a store room for info |
[QUOTE=rishzzz;159689]DEMOCRACY is the best form of government while the local district government is the best form of local self-government.This is because the principle of transfer of power to the grassroots level cannot be better protected in any other system. I would like to ask the advocates of the old commissioner system as to how they would lay the foundation of true democracy in a society which does not accept people’s right of choosing the best way of running their lo cal councils. The argument often put against the concept of the local district government is that it will serve as a tool against political parties and strengthen the hands of military dictators, thus leading to the weakening of democracy.
The fact is that democracy is strengthened by the establishment of a local government. That is why all mature, as well as progressive, democracies have local government bodies that serve their citizens. [B][I]summary of the above paragraph....is it rightly pointed out[/I][/B] The writer is elucidating the implication of the local government system. The commissioners can not convince the consent of the common people by overlapping their elected representative councils. Its is an antiquated theory that local government system is the tool of dictators endangering democratic setup. But the apposite fact is that system appropriates the established and upright democracies by grass root representation.[/QUOTE] Some tips: [B][COLOR="blue"]The writer is elucidating the implication of the local government system. [/COLOR][/B] The writer elucidated the efficacy of devolution of powers. (You can save two words, you can adopt suggested grammar requirement and you can apply the rule of using your own words (not copying the same words from the original passage)). [B][COLOR="blue"]The commissioners can not convince the consent of the common people by overlapping their elected representative councils. [/COLOR][/B] "Consent" is never convinced. Consent is "obtained". The commissioners can't convince masses............................ [B][COLOR="blue"]But the apposite fact is that [/COLOR][/B]= Contrary to this.................... These are few samples for you. You have still room for improvement. |
[QUOTE=sameen;160539]Some tips:
[B][COLOR="blue"]The writer is elucidating the implication of the local government system. [/COLOR][/B] The writer elucidated the efficacy of devolution of powers. (You can save two words, you can adopt suggested grammar requirement and you can apply the rule of using your own words (not copying the same words from the original passage)). [B][COLOR="blue"]The commissioners can not convince the consent of the common people by overlapping their elected representative councils. [/COLOR][/B] "Consent" is never convinced. Consent is "obtained". The commissioners can't convince masses............................ [B][COLOR="blue"]But the apposite fact is that [/COLOR][/B]= Contrary to this.................... These are few samples for you. You have still room for improvement.[/QUOTE] yup [B]thanx[/B] buddy wt abt the other 1 |
[B][CENTER]FEDERAL PUBLIC SERVICE COMMISSION
COMPETITIVE EXAMINATION FOR RECRUITMENT TO POSTS IN BPS – 17 UNDER THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT, 1995. ENGLISH (Précis and Composition)[/CENTER] [/B] When you see a cockroach or a bed-hug your first reaction is one of disgust and that is immediately, followed by a desire to exterminate the offensive creature. Later, in the garden, you see a butterfly or a dragonfly, and you are filled with admiration at its beauty and grace. Man’s feelings towards insects are ambivalent. He realizes that some of them for example, - flies and cockroaches arc threats to health. Mosquitoes and tsetse flies have in the past sapped the vitality of entire tribes or nations. Other insects are destructive and cause enormous losses. Such arc locusts, which can wipe out whole areas of crops in minutes; and termites, whose often insidious ravages, unless checked at an early stage, can end in the destructing of entire rows –of houses. Yet men’s ways of living may undergo radical changes if certain species of insects were to become extinct. Bees, for example, pollinate the flowers of many plants which are food sources. In the past, honey was the only sweetening agent known to man in some remote parts of the world. Ants, although they bite and contaminate man’s food are useful scavengers which consume waste material that would otherwise pollute the environment. Entomologists who have studied insect fossils believe them to have inhabited the earth for nearly 400 million years. Insects live in large numbers almost everywhere in the world, from the hottest deserts and the deepest caves to the peaks of-high mountains and even the snows of the polar caps. Some insect communities are complex in organizations, prompting men to believe that they possess an ordered intelligence. But such organized behaviour is clearly not due to - developed brains. If we have to compare them to humans, bee and ant groups behave like extreme totalitarian societies. Each bee or ant seems to have a determined role to play instinctively and does so without deviation. The word “instinct” is often applied to insect behaviour. But some insect behaviour appears so clear that one tends to think that some sort of intelligenceis at work. For example, the worker bee, upon relating to the hive after having found a new source of nectar, communicates his discovery by a kind of dance which tells other bees the direction and distance away of the nectar. [B] [SIZE=3]Precis[/SIZE][/B] Some insects are liked while others are not, a mixed attitude found in men. These insects have shown dangers to human life in the form of diseases to health, losses to crops and destruction to buildings as well. Man's life would definitely feel changes if some of insect species are found extinct because of the role these play in the environment. Historically, insects are very old and found in almost every distinct part of the World. These form communities which are incomprehensible somrtimes due to their strcuture. The behavior in unified units without any disarrangement, indicates a different role which every insect is playing. The norms and cutoms practiced, are the semblance of their intelligence and professionalism. 'A woker bee dancing to show her pleasure after she found another source of food', is an example of it. [B]Topics[/B] [I]Insect behavior or insect community and human life[/I] |
hey kindly comment on it so that i cud post next precis....as i had decided to post daily one.....to rectify my mistakes....so it 'd be highly appeciable if u guys do find out soomething out of it
Regards |
Anybody check my precis too
English (precis & Composition)
TIME ALLOWED: 3 HOURS MAXIMUM MARKS: 100 1. MAKE A PRÉCIS OF THE FOLLOWING PASSAGE IN ABOUT ONE THIRD OF ITS LENGTH. Suggest a suitable title also. (20) Besant describing the middle class of the 9th century wrote " In the first place it was for more a class apart. "In no sense did it belong to society. Men in professions of any kind (except in the Army and Navy) could only belong to society by right of birth and family connections; men in trade—bankers were still accounted tradesmen—could not possibly belong to society. That is to say, if they went to live in the country they were not called upon by the county families and in the town they were not admitted by the men into their clubs, or by ladies into their houses… The middle class knew its own place, respected itself, made its own society for itself, and cheerfully accorded to rank the deference due." Since then, however, the life of the middle classes had undergone great changes as their numbers had swelled and their influence had increased. Their already well –developed consciousness of their own importance had deepened. More critical than they had been in the past of certain aspects of aristocratic life, they wee also more concerned with the plight of the poor and the importance of their own values of society, thrift, hand work, piety and respectability thrift, hand work, piety and respectability as examples of ideal behavior for the guidance of the lower orders. Above all they were respectable. There were divergences of opinion as to what exactly was respectable and what was not. There were, nevertheless, certain conventions, which were universally recognized: wild and drunker behaviors were certainly not respectable, nor were godlessness or avert promiscuity, not an ill-ordered home life, unconventional manners, self-indulgence or flamboyant clothes and personal adornments. [COLOR="Blue"]Question1: Precis[/COLOR] Title: Bourgeois of 9th century Explaining the bourgeois of 9th century, Besant writes that this class had its own values which were not dictated by society. They did not welcome people belonging to upper class into their domain. Middle class had a sense of individuality and respect for itself. In later ages, when they increased in number, they became more aware of their importance and respectable position in society. They criticized lavishness of upper class and acted as role models for lower class. They had their own criterion of respect. Bad behaviour, prodigy and haughtiness were not considered respectable. Word Count Original: 282 Precis: 94 |
[QUOTE=rishzzz;166065]
ENGLISH (Précis and Composition)[/CENTER] [/B] Some insects are liked while others are not, a mixed attitude found in men. These insects have shown dangers to human life in the form of diseases to health, losses to crops and destruction to buildings as well. Man's life would definitely feel changes if some of insect species are found extinct because of the role these play in the environment. Historically, insects are very old and found in almost every distinct part of the World. These form communities which are incomprehensible somrtimes due to their strcuture. The behavior in unified units without any disarrangement, indicates a different role which every insect is playing. The norms and cutoms practiced, are the semblance of their intelligence and professionalism. 'A woker bee dancing to show her pleasure after she found another source of food', is an example of it. [B]Topics[/B] [I]Insect behavior or insect community and human life[/I][/QUOTE] Nice attempt, just a reflection, is it important to incorporate the examples in precis. I think we may exclude them. here is my precise please comment. Men have mixed feelings towards insects. Men's appathy for them is due to their fatal nature for human society. Yet there are some benificial insects too. Many insects are in danger of extinction due to changing habitation of men. According to Entomologists, insects lived since 400millions years, both in extreme hot and cold habitates. some insects live in groupings and behave like human, which is due to their instinct to behave in like manner and not because of their developed brain. title the relation of insects and human. |
[QUOTE]Nice attempt, just a reflection, is it important to incorporate the examples in precis. I think we may exclude them.[/QUOTE]thanx i will over it and try to make precis more reflective without illustrating examples.... but i thot it was quite special in this para to highlight their organized and systematic nature
[QUOTE]Men have mixed feelings towards insects. [U]Men's[/U](avoid redundant starts) appathy for them is due to their fatal nature for human society. Yet there are some [U]benificial[/U](word doesnt suite for insects) insects too. Many insects are in danger of extinction due to changing habitation of men. According to Entomologists, insects lived since 400millions years, both in extreme hot and cold habitates. some insects live in [U]groupings[/U](groups) and behave like human, which is due to their instinct to behave in like manner and [I]not because of their developed brain[/I](replace it with some relevant statement).[/QUOTE] you've got good grammer, style is impressive but aviod redundancy. Precis was a compact one but it is shorter than requirement, count the lines of paragraph.... |
[QUOTE=rishzzz;166368]thanx i will over it and try to make precis more reflective without illustrating examples.... but i thot it was quite special in this para to highlight their organized and systematic nature
you've got good grammer, style is impressive but aviod redundancy. Precis was a compact one but it is shorter than requirement, count the lines of paragraph....[/QUOTE] well, I had attempted it in less than 20min so there are possibilities of errors and ommisions of many relevant ideas. I asked it from you, whether we have to put examples or not. because some times examples are becoming more important. yes, you are right, my precis is shorter than the required one. it was my second attempt, i have to work on it. thanks for identifying my redudancy in expression. |
[QUOTE=Sabah Hunzai;166370]well, I had attempted it in less than 20min so there are possibilities of errors and ommisions of many relevant ideas. I asked it from you, whether we have to put examples or not. because some times examples are becoming more important.
yes, you are right, my precis is shorter than the required one. it was my second attempt, i have to work on it. thanks for identifying my redudancy in expression.[/QUOTE] Atleast 35 minutes for precis and maximum 45 minutes Cz taking only 20 minutes will not give you 2,3 rough drafts to make a comprehensive one Regards |
Somebody check mine too :(
|
ok
|
[QUOTE]English (precis & Composition)
TIME ALLOWED: 3 HOURS MAXIMUM MARKS: 100 1. MAKE A PRÉCIS OF THE FOLLOWING PASSAGE IN ABOUT ONE THIRD OF ITS LENGTH. Suggest a suitable title also. (20) Besant describing the middle class of the 9th century wrote " In the first place it was for more a class apart. "In no sense did it belong to society. Men in professions of any kind (except in the Army and Navy) could only belong to society by right of birth and family connections; men in trade—bankers were still accounted tradesmen—could not possibly belong to society. That is to say, if they went to live in the country they were not called upon by the county families and in the town they were not admitted by the men into their clubs, or by ladies into their houses… The middle class knew its own place, respected itself, made its own society for itself, and cheerfully accorded to rank the deference due." Since then, however, the life of the middle classes had undergone great changes as their numbers had swelled and their influence had increased. Their already well –developed consciousness of their own importance had deepened. More critical than they had been in the past of certain aspects of aristocratic life, they wee also more concerned with the plight of the poor and the importance of their own values of society, thrift, hand work, piety and respectability thrift, hand work, piety and respectability as examples of ideal behavior for the guidance of the lower orders. Above all they were respectable. There were divergences of opinion as to what exactly was respectable and what was not. There were, nevertheless, certain conventions, which were universally recognized: wild and drunker behaviors were certainly not respectable, nor were godlessness or avert promiscuity, not an ill-ordered home life, unconventional manners, self-indulgence or flamboyant clothes and personal adornments. Question1: Precis Title: Bourgeois of 9th century Explaining the bourgeois of 9th century, [U][I]Besant writes [/I][/U][B](how basant writes, you tried to copy the original expression but it actually changed the meaning)[/B]that this class had its own values which were not dictated by society. [I][U]They[/U][/I][B](who)[/B] did not welcome people belonging to upper class [I][U]into[/U][/I][B]wrong usage [/B]their domain. Middle class had a sense of individuality and respect for itself. In later ages, when they increased in number, they became more aware of their importance and respectable position in society. They criticized lavishness of upper class and acted as role models for lower class. They had their own criterion of respect. Bad behaviour, prodigy and haughtiness were not considered respectable([B]Excellent sentence[/B]). [B]Good and decent attempts..... n dont make everything understood, few things need elaboration....Your coherence and order was good only you missed few points from main para to make the countable precis......But overall i ll appreciate[/B] Word Count Original: 282 Precis: 94[/QUOTE] Regards |
I'll post another precis today i.a......
n v 'll collectively find out flaws in it.....as many as v cud Regards |
[B][CENTER]FEDERAL PUBLIC SERVICE COMMISSION
COMPETITIVE EXAMINATION FOR RECRUITMENT TO POSTS IN BPS – 17 UNDER THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT, 1996.[/CENTER] ENGLISH (Précis)[/B] 1. Make a Précis of the following passage about one third of its length and suggest a suitable title. (25)[/I] Along with the new revelations of science and psychology there have also occurred distortions of what is being discovered. -Most of the scientists and psychologists have accepted Darwin’s theory of evolution and his observations on “survival of the fittest” as a final word. While enunciating his-postulate on the concept of the fittest, Darwin primarily projected physical force as the main criterion, and remained unmindful of the culture of mind, The psychologist, on the other hand, in his exclusive involvement with the psyche, has overlooked the potential of man’s physical-self and the world outside him. No synthesis has been attempted between the two with the obvious result of the one being sacrificed at the altar of the other. This has given birth to a civilisation which is wholly based on economic considerations, transforming man into a mere “economic being” and limiting, his pleasures and sorrows to sensuous cravings. With the force of his craft and guns, this man of the modern world gave birth to two cannibalistic philosophies, the cunning capitalism and the callous communism. They joined hands to block the evolution of man as a cultural entity, denuding him of the feelings of love, sympathy, and humanness. Technologically, man is immensely powerful; culturally, he is the creature ‘of stoneage, as lustful as ever, and equally ignorant of his destiny. The two world wars and the resultant attitudes display harrowing distortion of the purposes of life and power. In this agonizing situation the Scientist is harnessing forces of nature, placing them at the feet of his country’s leaders, to be used against people in other parts of the world. This state of his servility makes the functions of the scientist appear merely to push humanity to a state of perpetual fear, and lead man to the inevitable destruction as a species with his own inventions and achievements. This irrational situation raises many questions. They concern the role of a scientist, the function of religion, the conduct of politician who is directing the course 5f history, and the future role of man as a species. There is an obvious mutilation of the purpose of creation, and the relationship .between Cosmos, Life, and Man is hidden from eyes; they have not been viewed collectively. [SIZE="4"][CENTER][SIZE="3"][B]Precis[/B][/SIZE][/CENTER][/SIZE] It is a matter of vital importance that modern sciences have not realized any significance of culture despite huge developments in science. The psychologist have ignored the potential of man and developed a materialistic world where emotionless deliberation has transformed man into an monetary instrument. The systems of communism and capitalism were also the yields of the same think-tank that it discouraged the growth of cultural, social and emotional feelings. successive wars and insensitive technology have threatened the objective of life in this planet. The adverse environment, full of terror, has made the role of scientist controversial subject to predictable dangerous life, in the light of destructive inventions. How the life emerged? The question needs amplification due to indistinct contribution of scientists, politicians and religion. Its erroneous to say man a ‘specie’. [B]Topic[/B] Life with Modern Science |
please comment on it....
[QUOTE=God Fearer;166344]English (precis & Composition)
Title: Bourgeois of 9th century Explaining the bourgeois of 9th century, Besant writes that this class had its own values which were not dictated by society. They did not welcome people belonging to upper class into their domain. Middle class had a sense of individuality and respect for itself. In later ages, when they increased in number, they became more aware of their importance and respectable position in society. They criticized lavishness of upper class and acted as role models for lower class. They had their own criterion of respect. Bad behaviour, prodigy and haughtiness were not considered respectable. Word Count Original: 282 Precis: 94[/QUOTE] nice attempt, your takeoff is excellent, but I am afraid you couldn't catch the writers' main points. writer didn't say middle class was not welcoming upper class, if you re-read the para you will find, Middle class was not even considered as part of society. he then gave different exampls. then transition and then changes since then and the establishment of their own society. Note, this is my own judgement, I am by no means an expert. you may disagree with me. here is my attempt. Describing the conditions of bourgeois in 9th century, Besant says, it was not even considered as part of the society. Tradesmen and professionals other than army, were not worthy. Social status was determined on birth and family connections. they were not allowed to settled in counties and were deprived of facilities in towns. Realizing their abject position they established their own society based on strong values and earned their lost respect. They protected the rights of lower starta and became their idols. Though opinions differ about respectablity but they established values which have univeral acceptance. Since then they increased their influence. Title; Transition of Bourgeios since 9th Century words: 102 seniors please comment on it. |
@subah hunzai
Have an eye at my precis as well Regards |
need critical comments
Besant describing the middle class of the 9th century wrote " In the first place it was for more a class apart. "In no sense did it belong to society. Men in professions of any kind (except in the Army and Navy) could only belong to society by right of birth and family connections; men in trade—bankers were still accounted tradesmen—could not possibly belong to society. That is to say, if they went to live in the country they were not called upon by the county families and in the town they were not admitted by the men into their clubs, or by ladies into their houses… The middle class knew its own place, respected itself, made its own society for itself, and cheerfully accorded to rank the deference due."
Since then, however, the life of the middle classes had undergone great changes as their numbers had swelled and their influence had increased. Their already well –developed consciousness of their own importance had deepened. More critical than they had been in the past of certain aspects of aristocratic life, they wee also more concerned with the plight of the poor and the importance of their own values of society, thrift, hand work, piety and respectability thrift, hand work, piety and respectability as examples of ideal behavior for the guidance of the lower orders. Above all they were respectable. There were divergences of opinion as to what exactly was respectable and what was not. There were, nevertheless, certain conventions, which were universally recognized: wild and drunker behaviors were certainly not respectable, nor were godlessness or avert promiscuity, not an ill-ordered home life, unconventional manners, self-indulgence or flamboyant clothes and personal adornments. precis Describing the conditions of bourgeois in 9th century, Besant says, it was not even considered as part of the society. Tradesmen and professionals other than army, were not worthy. Social status was determined on birth and family connections. they were not allowed to settled in counties and were deprived of facilities in towns. Realizing their abject position they established their own society based on strong values and earned their lost respect. They protected the rights of lower starta and became their idols. Though opinions differ about respectablity but they established values which have univeral acceptance. Since then they increased their influence. Title; Transition of Bourgeios since 9th Century words: 102 seniors please comment on it. |
[B]Describing[/B] the conditions of bourgeois in 9th century, Besant says, it was not even considered as part of the society. Tradesmen and professionals other than army, were not worthy. Social status was determined on birth and family connections. they were not allowed [B]to settled[/B] in counties and were deprived of facilities in towns. [B]Realizing[/B] their [B]abject[/B] position they established their own society based on strong values and earned their lost respect. They protected the rights of lower starta and became their idols. Though opinions differ about [B]respectablity [/B]but they established values which have univeral acceptance. Since then they increased their influence.
Your sentences start with less apeal...y u start most the sentences [B]DESCRIBING....n REALIZING.....Since[/B] Well this is a wrong move Always use first form after [B]TO[/B] i think ur problem is that you dont give required time of precis which makes such fallacies....give atleast 30 minutes and make 2,3 rough drafts before arriving at a gud precis....2ndly i wud recommend u to write precis of same para again and then post it. [I][COLOR="DarkRed"]It is easy to find out mistakes while v read and difficult to catch them while v r writing, so dont mind....[/COLOR][/I]:onesec |
[CENTER][B]FEDERAL PUBLIC SERVICE COMMISSION
COMPETITIVE EXAMINATION FOR RECRUITMENT TO POSTS IN BPS – 17 UNDER THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT, 1996. [/B][/CENTER] [B]ENGLISH (Précis)[/B] 1. Make a Précis of the following passage about one third of its length and suggest a suitable title. (25)[/I] Along with the new revelations of science and psychology there have also occurred distortions of what is being discovered. -Most of the scientists and psychologists have accepted Darwin’s theory of evolution and his observations on “survival of the fittest” as a final word. While enunciating his-postulate on the concept of the fittest, Darwin primarily projected physical force as the main criterion, and remained unmindful of the culture of mind, The psychologist, on the other hand, in his exclusive involvement with the psyche, has overlooked the potential of man’s physical-self and the world outside him. No synthesis has been attempted between the two with the obvious result of the one being sacrificed at the altar of the other. This has given birth to a civilisation which is wholly based on economic considerations, transforming man into a mere “economic being” and limiting, his pleasures and sorrows to sensuous cravings. With the force of his craft and guns, this man of the modern world gave birth to two cannibalistic philosophies, the cunning capitalism and the callous communism. They joined hands to block the evolution of man as a cultural entity, denuding him of the feelings of love, sympathy, and humanness. Technologically, man is immensely powerful; culturally, he is the creature ‘of stoneage, as lustful as ever, and equally ignorant of his destiny. The two world wars and the resultant attitudes display harrowing distortion of the purposes of life and power. In this agonizing situation the Scientist is harnessing forces of nature, placing them at the feet of his country’s leaders, to be used against people in other parts of the world. This state of his servility makes the functions of the scientist appear merely to push humanity to a state of perpetual fear, and lead man to the inevitable destruction as a species with his own inventions and achievements. This irrational situation raises many questions. They concern the role of a scientist, the function of religion, the conduct of politician who is directing the course 5f history, and the future role of man as a species. There is an obvious mutilation of the purpose of creation, and the relationship .between Cosmos, Life, and Man is hidden from eyes; they have not been viewed collectively. [B][SIZE="4"]Precis [/SIZE][/B] It is a matter of vital importance that modern sciences have not realized any significance of culture despite huge developments in science. The psychologist have ignored the potential of man and developed a materialistic world where emotionless deliberation has transformed man into an monetary instrument. The systems of communism and capitalism were also the yields of the same think-tank that it discouraged the growth of cultural, social and emotional feelings. successive wars and insensitive technology have threatened the objective of life in this planet. The adverse environment, full of terror, has made the role of scientist controversial subject to predictable dangerous life, in the light of destructive inventions. How the life emerged? The question needs amplification due to indistinct contribution of scientists, politicians and religion. Its erroneous to say man a ‘specie’. [B]Topic[/B] Life with Modern Science please go through and find out mistakes and comment over it. |
I would comment on the passage directly as how it develops its argument.
1. Most of scientists accepted Darwin's theory which considers physical force as the main criterion. 2. Psychologists focused on man's psyche and remained ignorant of man's physical self. 3. No synthesis has been made between two views. 3. Resulting in man's image to be just an economic being, based on concepts of communism and capitalism. 4. Man is now technologically powerful but not as much cultured. 5. This irrational situation resulted in several questions about man role as seen from political and religious views. It is because man is not analyzed as whole. Precis should be developed on the above lines. Because passage is argumentative so should be the precis. Regards |
[QUOTE=newstudent;166460]I would comment on the passage directly as how it develops its argument.
1. Most of scientists accepted Darwin's theory which considers physical force as the main criterion. 2. Psychologists focused on man's psyche and remained ignorant of man's physical self. 3. No synthesis has been made between two views. 3. Resulting in man's image to be just an economic being, based on concepts of communism and capitalism. 4. Man is now technologically powerful but not as much cultured. 5. This irrational situation resulted in several questions about man role as seen from political and religious views. It is because man is not analyzed as whole. Precis should be developed on the above lines. Because passage is argumentative so should be the precis. Regards[/QUOTE] So, other than argumentative precis.....give me some more mistakes i made in it so that i cud take corrective actions Thanx |
Your precis:
"It is a matter of vital importance that modern sciences have not realized any significance of culture despite huge developments in science. The psychologist have ignored the potential of man and developed a materialistic world where emotionless deliberation has transformed man into an monetary instrument. The systems of communism and capitalism were also the yields of the same think-tank that it discouraged the growth of cultural, social and emotional feelings. successive wars and insensitive technology have threatened the objective of life in this planet. The adverse environment, full of terror, has made the role of scientist controversial subject to predictable dangerous life, in the light of destructive inventions. How the life emerged? The question needs amplification due to indistinct contribution of scientists, politicians and religion. Its erroneous to say man a ‘specie’." Some Suggestions (May sound harsh but I am writing it in good faith so be patient) : 1. You say "It is a matter of vital importance ....". You are making it matter of vital importance passage doesnt say that. So stick to what is said in precis. 2. You say "The psychologist have ignored the potential of man and developed a materialistic world where emotionless deliberation has transformed man into an monetary instrument." Psychologist focused on psyche and ignored the physical aspect, they didnt made man into a monetary instrument. Try to understand what passage says. Passage means that due to non synthesis of Darwin's theory and psychologist thinking the result is emergence of man as an economic being. 3. You say "The systems of communism and capitalism were also the yields of the same think-tank.....". Which think-tank you are referring to. You didnt describe it earlier. 4. You say "Its erroneous to say man a ‘specie’." Well this is not mentioned in original passage. Again I am saying that I am giving my honest opinion, if you find it not useful then ignore it. Regards |
@God Fearer
Brother I think our minds match a lot. I would have done the same precis as you did with one difference. You said "They did not welcome people belonging to upper class into their domain." In my thinking opposite is true. Baki its all fine. Regards |
[QUOTE=newstudent;166477]Your precis:
"It is a matter of vital importance that modern sciences have not realized any significance of culture despite huge developments in science. The psychologist have ignored the potential of man and developed a materialistic world where emotionless deliberation has transformed man into an monetary instrument. The systems of communism and capitalism were also the yields of the same think-tank that it discouraged the growth of cultural, social and emotional feelings. successive wars and insensitive technology have threatened the objective of life in this planet. The adverse environment, full of terror, has made the role of scientist controversial subject to predictable dangerous life, in the light of destructive inventions. How the life emerged? The question needs amplification due to indistinct contribution of scientists, politicians and religion. Its erroneous to say man a ‘specie’." Some Suggestions (May sound harsh but I am writing it in good faith so be patient) : 1. You say "It is a matter of vital importance ....". You are making it matter of vital importance passage doesnt say that. So stick to what is said in precis. 2. You say "The psychologist have ignored the potential of man and developed a materialistic world where emotionless deliberation has transformed man into an monetary instrument." Psychologist focused on psyche and ignored the physical aspect, they didnt made man into a monetary instrument. Try to understand what passage says. Passage means that due to non synthesis of Darwin's theory and psychologist thinking the result is emergence of man as an economic being. 3. You say "The systems of communism and capitalism were also the yields of the same think-tank.....". Which think-tank you are referring to. You didnt describe it earlier. 4. You say "Its erroneous to say man a ‘specie’." Well this is not mentioned in original passage. Again I am saying that I am giving my honest opinion, if you find it not useful then ignore it. Regards[/QUOTE] Well writer said that feelings and nature is not considered that's y i made this sentence that of emotionless materialistic ..... [QUOTE]This state of his servility makes the functions of the scientist appear merely to push humanity to a state of perpetual fear, and lead man to the inevitable destruction as a species with his own inventions and achievements[/QUOTE]may be i took the meaning of sentence wrong Well think-tank im reffering to is of psychologists and scientist but ur right i shud have mentioned it, i took examiner my best friend here,lolzz THANX again ur points were upto the mark. i wll work over it...Regards |
[QUOTE=rishzzz;166425][B]Describing[/B]
[I][COLOR="DarkRed"]It is easy to find out mistakes while v read and difficult to catch them while v r writing, so dont mind....[/COLOR][/I]:onesec[/QUOTE] dear there is always room for improvement, I didn't claim for perfection. the errors you identified in my precis are well taken by me. I think we can keep commenting on each effort to make the learning reciprocal process. yes, you are right am not giving proper time to precise practice due to obsession with official duties. I hope things will improve gradually. just pray |
Comment on it please.....
[QUOTE=rishzzz;166426][CENTER][B]FEDERAL PUBLIC SERVICE COMMISSION
COMPETITIVE EXAMINATION FOR RECRUITMENT TO POSTS IN BPS – 17 UNDER THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT, 1996. [/B][/CENTER] [B]ENGLISH (Précis)[/B] 1. Make a Précis of the following passage about one third of its length and suggest a suitable title. (25)[/I] Along with the new revelations of science and psychology there have also occurred distortions of what is being discovered. -Most of the scientists and psychologists have accepted Darwin’s theory of evolution and his observations on “survival of the fittest” as a final word. While enunciating his-postulate on the concept of the fittest, Darwin primarily projected physical force as the main criterion, and remained unmindful of the culture of mind, The psychologist, on the other hand, in his exclusive involvement with the psyche, has overlooked the potential of man’s physical-self and the world outside him. No synthesis has been attempted between the two with the obvious result of the one being sacrificed at the altar of the other. This has given birth to a civilisation which is wholly based on economic considerations, transforming man into a mere “economic being” and limiting, his pleasures and sorrows to sensuous cravings. With the force of his craft and guns, this man of the modern world gave birth to two cannibalistic philosophies, the cunning capitalism and the callous communism. They joined hands to block the evolution of man as a cultural entity, denuding him of the feelings of love, sympathy, and humanness. Technologically, man is immensely powerful; culturally, he is the creature ‘of stoneage, as lustful as ever, and equally ignorant of his destiny. The two world wars and the resultant attitudes display harrowing distortion of the purposes of life and power. In this agonizing situation the Scientist is harnessing forces of nature, placing them at the feet of his country’s leaders, to be used against people in other parts of the world. This state of his servility makes the functions of the scientist appear merely to push humanity to a state of perpetual fear, and lead man to the inevitable destruction as a species with his own inventions and achievements. This irrational situation raises many questions. They concern the role of a scientist, the function of religion, the conduct of politician who is directing the course 5f history, and the future role of man as a species. There is an obvious mutilation of the purpose of creation, and the relationship .between Cosmos, Life, and Man is hidden from eyes; they have not been viewed collectively..[/QUOTE] here is my effort Science and Psychology, besides their contributions, so far have lacked a holistic approach to life. Former has emphacised phyical forcess of man ignoring his mental faculties, while the later focused human psyche only. These exclusive approaches have given birth to a society with economic imperatives. The Capitalism and communism, two leading concepts of this society, have ruined man culturally. They have given man physical strenghth and temporal bliss but made him culturally backward. Science's engagement for exploration of natural forces for the destruction of human specie, has made the world fearful. This has invited man for serious deliberations on different roles and for a holistic appraoch. Title: Need for a holistic approach to Human life. words:104 |
Thankyou Rishiz, Subah Hanzai and New student for ure response.. I don't know why FPSC has to check our abilities by giving these philosophical passages.. they have to check our skills of brevity, these skills can be checked with easy-to-understand passages as well. What you say guys?
|
[QUOTE]I don't know why FPSC has to check our abilities by giving these philosophical passages[/QUOTE] [B]well dear, a good opinion most of us wud have with us[/B]....lolz
But kiya hai na v have to adapt us according to exams....so that's why glass breaks at our head |
Science and Psychology, besides their contributions, so far have lacked a holistic approach to life. Former has emphacised phyical forcess of man ignoring his mental faculties, while the later focused human psyche only. These exclusive approaches have given birth to a society with economic imperatives. The Capitalism and communism, two leading concepts of this society, have ruined man culturally. [I][COLOR="DarkRed"]They have given man physical strenghth and temporal bliss but made him culturally backward[/COLOR][/I]. Science's engagement for exploration of natural forces for the destruction of human specie, has made the world fearful. This has invited man for serious deliberations on different roles and for a [COLOR="#8b0000"][I]holistic appraoch[/I][/COLOR].
dont use again same holistic approach but replace with some other the statement u mentioned above (highlighted) is not which writer meant to say, culture is not exactly ruined, i think it is being ignored at the cost of scientific and psychological developments or so.... [U][B]Comment: [/B][/U][B]Very Good[/B], you have improved a lot, n ur expression [B]woth appreciation[/B], i personally liked ur precis |
[QUOTE]It is easy to find out mistakes while v read and difficult to catch them while v r writing, so dont mind....[/QUOTE]
I didnt pass the ststement at u, i generally said it while i was pointing ur hints, that its easy when i m cheking ur precis, that i can find out mistake, but i ll ignore them while i ll b writing my own self.... |
[QUOTE=rishzzz;166529]
[U][B]Comment: [/B][/U][B]Very Good[/B], you have improved a lot, n ur expression [B]woth appreciation[/B], i personally liked ur precis[/QUOTE] thanks rishzzz for your encourgement, I am fearful about this paper along with mighty ESSAY... anyhow keep going inshallah we will win one day.:vic thanks for identifying mistakes.. I don't know why seniors have turned their heads away from us. they are not commenting.:mad: |
[QUOTE=Sabah Hunzai;166551]thanks rishzzz for your encourgement, I am fearful about this paper along with mighty ESSAY... anyhow keep going inshallah we will win one day.:vic
thanks for identifying mistakes.. I don't know why seniors have turned their heads away from us. they are not commenting.:mad:[/QUOTE] Yeah i m also quite desperate that no CSP or experienced members have posted any comments any hw v shud keep on cheking each other, will i.a get smthn in return Yar its ok dnt wry, ve ll have to practice a lot to make our hands and fingurs like iron to attempt for six hours in a day |
@Sabah Hunzai and Rishz
I was a bit busy, asking same kinda help from my seniors :). Main khud bi hairan hon kyon dosre seniors aap logon ki madad nahi kar rahe. As I have my own way of critically analyzing precis and others their's. The more input you get the better it is. Sabah Hunzai, I have seen your precis, if I remember correctly I have checked that sometime ago. So no more comments. Regards |
| 01:48 PM (GMT +5) |
vBulletin, Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.