1989 css precis---kindly evaluate

[out of place]

hello friends,

kindly evaluate my precis; The following passage is from 1989 css paper.


"The greatest civilization before ours was the Greek. They, too, lived in a dangerous world. They were a little highly civilized people, surrounded by barbarous and always threatened by the greatest Asian powers, Persia. In the end, they succumbed, but the reason they did was not the enemies outside were strong, but that their spiritual strength had given way. While they had it, they kept Greece unconquered. Basic to all Greek achievements was freedom. The Athenians were only free people in the world. In the great empires of antiquity-Egypt, Babylon, Assyria, and Persia-splendid though they were with riches and immense power, freedom was unknown. The idea of it was born in Greece and with it Greece was able to prevail against all the manpower and wealth arrayed against her. At marathon and at salamis overwhelming numbers of Persians were defeated by small Greek forces. It was proved there that one free man was superior to many submissively obedient subjects of a tyrant. And Athens, where the freedom was the dearest possession, was the leader in those amazing victories.
Greece rose to the very height, not because she was big, she was very small; not because she was rich, she was very poor, not even because she was wonderfully gifted. So doubtless were others in the great empires of the ancient world who have gone their way leaving little for us. She rose because there was in the Greeks the greatest spirit that moves in humanity, the spirit that sets man free."



here is my effort;


Greek civilization and spirit of freedom
Or just;
Spirit of freedom

Greek civilization was one of the greatest powers of the ancient time. Greece was neither rich nor big and was surrounded by many a peril. Yet, she reigned supreme for a long time. The reason for the Greek dominance lay in the spirit of freedom that she possessed. It was this idea of freedom that was conspicuous by its absence in all rival empires of the time. Hence, all the riches and manpower of great empires could not subdue Greece. It was only after the spiritual power of Greece weakened that she was, eventually, defeated.

suggestions are welcome, critique more so.

thanks

[Raja4u]

Most of the major points in from the original have been discarded by you in your precis.
You have to make a precis in a way that any main point could not be disturbed by leaving it.
Even though you have left some main points, but your length of precis is not equal to 1/3rd of its original part.

You have keep focus on main points.

And try to use very short and simple words to replace long and repated words. For example, you have written in your precis" The greatest civilization before ours was the Greek". It could be more better here: Greeks were most civilzed nation.