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#11
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Your Introduction is not so good not so bad. It starts with answering the question “what it the importance of CPEC?”. There are number of ways to start an introduction but best way is to start introduction with sentence answering the question inherent in the topic. In this way this “answer” becomes your thesis statement. You can also start you essay by answering the question “What is CPEC”. After this you can now write about the importance of CPEC. You should also mention briefly about challenges faced by CPEC project.
You background portion of the essay is well written but there are number of grammatical errors and sentences could have been written more precisely and effectively. Now come to your argumentation structure and unity in main body of essay. Let’s start with your paragraph depicting the domestic challenges faced by Pakistan regarding CPEC project. A : “Since the beginning of the idea of CPEC, it faced multiple challenges…………” i) Use the sentence precisely and clearly CPEC project, since its inception is facing number of challenges.” B) “Domestically, poor security situation is one of the biggest challenges of the country.” ii) Use adjectives at their proper place. Secondly mother sentence of your paragraph should make a clear sense and it should contribute to the main thesis. Poor security condition of the country is one the biggest domestic challenges affecting CPEC. You have here just pointed out that what are the security problems of Pakistan but you need to state further that how CPEC is suffering due to these challenges C) “However, still managing security remains a challenge” iii) Don’t translate sentence from Urdu language. However, security management is still a challenge for Pakistan. D) “Mainstream media reported that there is “70% decrease in terrorism related incidents as compared to pre-2014 situation” iv) Avoid using week supporting evidence. Some of the sentences which one should avoid as supporting evidence are: Everybody knows that, History is full of these incidents, Main stream media says that, and many other sentences making universal claims and their authority is dubious, don’t use them. According to a survey report published in Daily Dawn in December 2016, there is 70% decrease in terrorist activities since 2014 E) “Unfortunately, on October 24, 2016, terrorist carried out attack on Police Training School in Queeta in which more than 60 people were killed. It indicates, despite military operations and relative peace, security challenges persist.” v) These are last two sentences of your paragraph. Normally a paragraph in an essay has a structure of argument based on a) Claim, Supporting evidence, Inference. You have given your claim saying that Pakistan is facing security issues, as a evidence you have cited number of terrorist events took place in Pakistan, but unfortunately you have not drawn any conclusion which should support your thesis statement. You should have written few sentences that how these security conditions are affecting the CPEC project. I will analyse your other paragraphs in few days as I m running short of the time at the moment. Regards. |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to trotsky59 For This Useful Post: | ||
RMKamran (Thursday, October 25, 2018), spring snow (Monday, July 31, 2017) |
#12
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outline check
Kindly Seniors check my outline for "CPEC Challenges and PROSPECTS"
Introduction Pak-China friendship history What is CPEC CPEC project initiation in 2015 One Belt One Road Strategy Strategic Importance of Gwadar Developments in Project Social Prospects and challenges Social benefits for Balochistan and all provinces unity Ease of traveling within the country Interprovincial grievances could be a social challenge for CPEC Work opportunities increases and unemployment decreases It could improve our health sector Economic Prospects Economic Development GDP Increase & FDI Decrease imports & Increase Exports May or may not be an economic challenge High Interest rate over Loans is an economic Challenge Cultural and religious perspective Cultural Development in Balochistan Enhance Learning opportunities and improve education sector Helps in communicating culture and heritage to the outer world May be a threat to natural and historical heritage Regional integration Transit trade facilities to CARs International Challenges & Interests India Envy Afghanistan &Nexus Gulf States Iran and Chabahar port American strategy Better our position on International platform A good Alliance National Stance Utilizations of Natural resources that never extract before Better position in Kashmir Issue if path will across Azad Kashmir Infrastructure Development Civil-Military relation must be a national challenge Political prospects Political Instability is the biggest Challenge Political Bias Criticism is making public hopeless Baloch militant groups opposition Prospects and Challenges for China Shortest route for trading Safe Passage Higher position in South Asia America and India conflict with China “Malacca Dilemma” Conclusion Suggestions to make it beneficial for all Pakistanis Measures for national integrity and security Hope of Pakistanis |
The Following User Says Thank You to shah 786 For This Useful Post: | ||
alihashmatkhoso (Monday, July 31, 2017) |
#13
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Now a days, CSS Essay is all about creativity so one should avoid plagiarism.
and writer knows better where from he has copied it. But i would like to appreciate him as he has tried to convert it into his own words |
#14
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but some topics like above consist on facts and figures, should be read thoroughly. in problematic type of essays ideas have no space but facts ....
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LOVE all, TRUST a few, do WRONG to none...... |
#15
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Discussion& Suggestion and Recommendation
1. I think you must highlight transparency issue and economic challenge as , currently, it is putting extra burden on imports and our account deficit is increasing because if increasing imports.
2. Another aspect is consequences of complete reliance on China like recently China has took control of Sri Lanka's port for 99 years it might happen with Pakistan. 3.As already mentioned, someone should not use the same numbering for outline. |
#16
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Discussion& Suggestion and Recommendation
We can include the following perspectives too.
1.You should not use same numbering in outline. 2.Economic Challenges (a.Due to increase in imports disturbing equilibrium of imports-exports ;(b) recently,China has taken Sri Lankan port on lease for 99 years because later was heavily indebted, what if same happen with Gawadar port.Is it good for sovereign country to rely on foreign state? Should we put all our eggs in one's basket ?) 3. Foreign Policy Perspective: I think China can be a hurdle in foreign policy formulation as it has impeded unbiased South Korea's, Taiwan's and Sri Lanka's policies in near past. For Example South Korea refused to allow the U.S. to install missile system on the whims of China. Similarly,in Taiwan, China is giving favor to those companies which are following the toe line of China. 4. Religious Element: First, Pakistan cannot give legitimate support to Muslims(Uighur community) in Xinjiang province. Second,What about Chines missionaries massacre in Quetta? According to Ministry of Interior,they were preaching Buddhist.ideals. |
The Following User Says Thank You to Muhammad Jamil Haider For This Useful Post: | ||
black beast (Thursday, August 10, 2017) |
#17
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role of india on cpec
Indian Premier Modi straight away asserted that CPEC was “unacceptable” to India. Indian media is showing its anger by broadcasting controversial and false reports about the dilapidating situation of law and order in Pakistan which is threatening towards China’s projects in Pakistan. RAW increased sabotage activities in Baluchistan. It was for the first time in history that the Chinese officials warned Pakistan about RAW’s terror plans against Silk route and also made the Pakistani high authorities concerned over stumbling security situation in Baluchistan. India apprehends its encirclement by China. India, besides the US, dominates the Indian Ocean. But it feels that in future China is going to establish its hegemony in the ocean by establishing naval bases for warships in the so-called policy of “string of pearls”. China has given its official policy of Maritime Silk Road to trade through oceans. But India is reluctant to accept this. By materializing CPEC, China would have direct access to the Indian Ocean which could hamper the interests of India. India also jealous of the fraternal relations between China and Pakistan, and cannot see a prosperous Pakistan. Pakistan needs to strengthen its dilapidated economy. Already, Pakistan is facing numerous internal and external challenges. Terrorism, though dwindled after Zarb-a-Azb under the supervision of Ex-Chief of the Army Staff-General Raheel Sharif and currently Operational Rad-ul-Fasad initiated by General Kamar Javed Bajwa, has damaged the country a lot. Lawlessness in Karachi and Baluchistan has shaken the confidence of investors. SAARC has proved ineffective due to the arrogance of India. Poverty, corruption, unemployment and illiteracy are like venom to our country’s economy. Our trustworthy neighbor China has shown that by investing in Pakistan, the cordial relations between the “iron brothers” are going to be perennial. Chinese investment is going to be beneficial to Pakistan in curbing not only the menace of terrorism but also making Pakistan an Asian Tiger in the long run. Strong economy is more able to resist lawlessness. With CPEC materialized, Gawadar Port would become a major trading centre in the world, region will become industrialized and it would help us to be well-connected with the energy-rich Central Asia.
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#18
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Quote:
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Mitta do apni hasti ko, agar kuch martaba chahiye, k dana khak men mil kar gul-i-gulzar banta hai. |
#19
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I think suggestions should not be part of this essay. This is a deviation from the main topic of the essay.
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#20
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Please match the heading of Challanges and suggession for good balance of essay.
Challenges: 1. Security situation 2. Political Instability 3. Civil-military relations 4. Inter-provincial grievances 5. India 6. Afghanistan and their Nexus 7. Gulf states 8. Iran (Chabhar port vs Gwadar) 9. American strategy to Contain China Suggestion: 1. Security measures 2. Border management 3. Political Stability 4. Regional Cooperation |
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