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#1
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Kindly, evaluate my Essay outline
Topic: Accountability reduces corruption and this leads to peace ,prosperity and stability.
1) Introduction T.s In a democracy ,accountability is the only way forward for peace,prosperity and stability. 2) How Accountability fights corruption? a)Eradication of the corrupt practices. b)KSA and China purge against corruption 3) Accountability and peace a) Reduction and white collar crimes b)Strong State Institutions 4)Accountability and prosperity a)Inclusive Political and Economical Institutions b)Less interference of Non-State actors 5) Accountability and stability a) Strong State image in international arena 5.1) Economic stability a) Public friendly financial policies b) Increased Foreign Direct Investment c) Strong Tax culture d) GDP per capita will increase 5.2) Political Stability a)Balanced Civil-Military relations b)Competent Political leadership and oppostion c) Public Office bearers have no conflict of interest d) Political uncertainty at the lowest level 6) Recommendations a) Strong and independent judicial system b) Depoliticize the Police c) Autonomous NAB d) Recognition of honest leaders and officers at state level. e) Awareness among public 7) conclusion |
#2
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In my point of view
Following are some shortcomings, shown against your outline. 1) Introduction T.s In a democracy ,accountability is the only way forward for peace,prosperity and stability. 2) How Accountability fights corruption? (It should be How Accountability reduces corruption? a)Eradication of the corrupt practices. (How? How? How? Formulation of such such policy which eradicates corrupt practices) b)KSA and China purge against corruption (this is an example, you should place it within your own opinion) C) Harvesting IT products/solutions to figure out loopholes etc, 3) Accountability and peace a) Reduction and white collar crimes (complete the sentence,,, reduction & white collar crimes or reduction in white collar crimes brings peace or what? b)Strong State Institutions (This is part of HOW TO REDUCE it, above) C) Improved accountability build confidence of society over state institutions. D) Accountability becomes part & parcel of culture or virtue E) Accountability based society endorses Islamic Teachings 4)Accountability and prosperity a)Inclusive Political and Economical Institutions (Complete sentence, it doesn't make sense that what is INCLUSIVE & ECO INST do what?) b)Less interference of Non-State actors (THIS IS PART OF HOW,, or I Didn't understood your logic? following are suggestions: C) Accountable environment fosters Investor's confidence. D) Foreign Investment brings employment or reduces unemployment. E) Accountable institutions: Improved Public Service Delivery. 5) Accountability and stability a) Strong State image in international arena (this has nothing to do with stability? Stability is about Country being stable on the path of development., it can be economic, political, social, religious / spiritual, cultural etc. 5.1) Economic stability oh you already did good. a) Public friendly financial policies b) Increased Foreign Direct Investment c) Strong Tax culture d) GDP per capita will increase 5.2) Political Stability a)Balanced Civil-Military relations b)Competent Political leadership and oppostion c) Public Office bearers have no conflict of interest d) Political uncertainty at the lowest level 6) Recommendations a) Strong and independent judicial system (Judiciary is last resort,, didn't you get that from panama issue? Its last option... place it in last, i guess) b) Depoliticize the Police c) Autonomous NAB d) Recognition of honest leaders and officers at state level. e) Awareness among public d) Policy on Difference of Opinion. 7) conclusion |
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