Pakistan an un-fortunate state for poor people

[Raja Bahar]

More than sixty-five years have been passed since the independence of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. In these past sixty-five years it has been becoming a "bed of roses" for the so-called elite, landlord, business man, bureaucrat, general, journalist, judge and politician.
Poor (the UN-fortunate) has been remaining UN-educated an will remain the same in future as well; because he has no right to born in Pakistan. Health, Transportation, Jobs, Roads, Electricity, Water, Gas, Peace, Security of Life and Justice are the horrible dreams of poor people in this country of elite people.
Education in this country is available but not for poor. First he will have to get education in the HEC registered universities of elite people and then to compete with the generation of elite, landlord, business man, bureaucrat, general, journalist, judge and politician. Not only this but to compete against demerit and political support as he is neither the son of landlord, business man, bureaucrat, general, journalist, judge and politician nor has millions to get any gazetted type of job.
A poor dies after sixty years in the very same state in which he was born as democracy is still developing in our country because marshal-law created hindrance in its way other wise we would have a country like Japan, China, America and England! Our politicians would have made it a heaven on the Earth if it would not happened so.
Oh poor! wait for a while (1000 years) and let us bring some amendments (18, 19, 20, 21, 22, ...........) in the constitution and then we will think about you to give you a copy, a panadol, a Benazir income support card and Usher-Zakat etc.
Oh poor! our army has blessed us by not imposing the marshal-law again and the Supreme Court has become independent as well. Now let some generals to make money by corruption and advocates to beat you for a while in return other wise this democratic system will be derailed!
Pakistan Paindabad and landlord, business man, bureaucrat, general, journalist, judge and politician Zindabad


Pakistan's more than 60% population lives in rural areas where in past sixty five years no any particular attention is paid by any pillar of the state. Nor there are any well-equipped schools and colleges neither any kind of hospitals even dispensaries so that poor people can survive and grow up from this disastrous life living.
On the other hand they are totally cut-off from the world and can not even imagine that how far the world has gone and how much the information technology has changed the shape of human living. Those poor people feel toilet facility as a luxury to them.
Actually they do not know that Pakistan is still growing and democracy is getting its roots deep so that these elite classes can decide for the future of poor people by sitting in their drawing rooms that whether poor people should be given the right to live in this country or not!
The yellow-cap car service and "Sasti Tandoori-Rotti" were indeed the great steps for poor people but un-fortunately the dictator did not let run these fate-changing projects.
Thanks to PPP and Supreme court they did not arrested and punished the retired generals other wise it would have a great insult to army of Pakistan!!!

Our founding father, Quaid-eAzam Mohammad Ali Jinnah saw a dream of a welfare state and in his time tried to make it a welfare state but soon after his death, a huge crowd of needy people emerged in our country such as syeds the very poor indeed! They are our religious leaders and have become the most powerful and influential. What they say and do is the religion!!! Their population in Pakistan is more than that of Saudi Arabia!!
On the other hands so-called religious leaders have formed their own religious and political groups because they will bring the Islamic Law in an Islamic country! Wow!
This nation is truly nothing but a bunch of fools as it believes in liers, emotional blackmailers, wicked, corrupt and characterless persons.

Since 2001 up-till-now Pakistan is a security risk country as every day we hear about bomb-blasts, target-killings, sectarian as well as ethnic killings. Now the question arises in my mind that what hundreds of thousands officers of agencies, police, rangers and officials are doing? Are they unable to identify and arrest those people? If they are so then why they are being paid heavily and enjoying luxurious facilities?
Who will end this terrible and furious situation in Pakistan? Who will take the serious steps against these evil forces? Or the might is right will go on.......!

O! poor people of Pakistan come up-front and kick away these all black-sheep and be the masters of your fate, decide the future of this un-fortunate country for yourselves other wise this drama will go on and on.
Until ans unless you raise your collective hands against evil forces and the culprits no one can change your destiny as Allah helps those who help themselves.
In the end I love those great poor people who died in hunger, poverty, misery and helplessness but never became corrupt, dishonest, coward, wicked and black-sheep.
Hates up-to you as you are the real heroes of this un-fortunate country my salute is always to you. Long live Poor! Long live Pakistan.

I am looking for the comments from all the respected forum members. please comment or even criticism will highly be appreciated from my side. Thanks

[Bilal Hassan]

brother there are bunch of mistakes in your essay, beside that would you please refer to the year when this essay appeared in CSS exam?

[Nasrullah]

I second to Bilal. There are many grammatical mistakes in this essay.
Anyways, to call this state 'an unfortunate one' sounds quite pathetic, at least to me.


Regards.

[Raja Bahar]

First of all this attempt is not an essay neither I have tried to write an essay.
Actually I tried to portray the original face of our society as well as its bitter facts. I think think forum is suitable for expressing the issues of majority.
I again make it clear that this is never an essay so please give your views regarding the central idea of the passage.
Thanks

Would you please point out the grammatical mistakes you are saying about!

[Bilal Hassan]

sir i have my PMS interview so can't analyze your essay, i have just seen the mistakes that are apparent, there might be many more...don't take amiss...

I have a piece of advice for you, if you wanna achieve something then please be little optimistic in your approach, you would be quashed in exam if you go with this approach.... your calling Pakistan such an unfortunate state is mere absurdity, and seems as if you are ridiculing it.....

Stay Blessed...

[Nasrullah]

Originally Posted by Raja Bahar

More than sixty-five years have been passed since the independence of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. In these past sixty-five years it has been becoming a "bed of roses" for the so-called elite, landlord, business man, bureaucrat, general, journalist, judge and politician.
Poor (the UN-fortunate) has been remaining UN-educated an will remain the same in future as well; because he has no right to born in Pakistan. Health, Transportation, Jobs, Roads, Electricity, Water, Gas, Peace, Security of Life and Justice are the horrible dreams of poor people in this country of elite people.
Education in this country is available but not for poor. First he will have to get education in the HEC registered universities of elite people and then to compete with the generation of elite, landlord, business man, bureaucrat, general, journalist, judge and politician. Not only this but (not only this but also he has)to compete against demerit and political support as he is neither the son of landlord, business man, bureaucrat, general, journalist, judge and politician nor has millions to get any gazetted type of job.
A poor dies after sixty years in the very same state in which he was born as democracy is still developing in our country because marshal-law created hindrance in its way other wise we would have a country like Japan, China, America and England! Our politicians would have made it a heaven on the Earth if it would not (have)happened so.
Oh poor! wait for a while (1000 years) and let us bring some amendments (18, 19, 20, 21, 22, ...........) in the constitution and then we will think about you to give you a copy, a panadol, a Benazir income support card and Usher-Zakat etc.
Oh poor! our army has blessed us by not imposing the marshal-law again and the Supreme Court has become independent as well. Now let some generals to make money by corruption and advocates to beat you for a while in return other wise this democratic system will be derailed!
Pakistan Paindabad and landlord, business man, bureaucrat, general, journalist, judge and politician Zindabad


Pakistan's more than 60% population(More than 60% population of Pakistan) lives in rural areas where in past sixty five years no any particular attention is (has been)paid by any pillar of the state. Nor there are any well-equipped schools and colleges neither any kind of hospitals even dispensaries so that poor people can survive and grow up from this disastrous life living.
On the other hand they are totally cut-off from the world and can not even imagine that how far the world has gone and how much the information technology has changed the shape of human living. Those poor people feel toilet facility as a luxury to them.
Actually they do not know that Pakistan is still growing and democracy is getting its roots deep so that these elite classes can decide for the future of poor people by sitting in their drawing rooms that whether poor people should be given the right to live in this country or not!
The yellow-cap car service and "Sasti Tandoori-Rotti" were indeed the great steps for poor people but un-fortunately the dictator did not let run these fate-changing projects.
Thanks to PPP and Supreme court they did not arrested and punished the retired generals other wise it would have a great insult to army of Pakistan!!!

Our founding father, Quaid-eAzam Mohammad Ali Jinnah saw a dream of a welfare state and in his time tried to make it a welfare state but soon after his death, a huge crowd of needy people emerged in our country such as syeds the very poor indeed! They are our religious leaders and have become the most powerful and influential. What they say and do is the religion!!! Their population in Pakistan is more than that of Saudi Arabia!!
On the other hands so-called religious leaders have formed their own religious and political groups because they will bring the Islamic Law in an Islamic country! Wow!
This nation is truly nothing but a bunch of fools as it believes in liers, emotional blackmailers, wicked, corrupt and characterless persons.

Since 2001 up-till-now Pakistan is a security risk country as every day we hear about bomb-blasts, target-killings, sectarian as well as ethnic killings. Now the question arises in my mind that what hundreds of thousands officers of agencies, police, rangers and officials are doing? Are they unable to identify and arrest those people? If they are so then why they are being paid heavily and enjoying luxurious facilities?
Who will end this terrible and furious situation in Pakistan? Who will take the serious steps against these evil forces? Or the might is right will go on.......!

O! poor people of Pakistan come up-front and kick away these all black-sheep and be the masters of your fate, decide the future of this un-fortunate country for yourselves other wise this drama will go on and on.
Until ans unless you raise your collective hands (hands collectively)against (these) evil forces and the culprits no one can change your destiny as Allah helps those who help themselves.
In the end I love those great poor people who died in hunger, poverty, misery and helplessness but never became corrupt, dishonest, coward, wicked and black-sheep.
Hates up-to you as you are the real heroes of this un-fortunate country my salute is always to you. Long live Poor! Long live Pakistan.

I am looking for the comments from all the respected forum members. please comment or even criticism (even criticise. It) will highly be appreciated from my side. Thanks

Dear,
Few mistakes are highlighted in red. corrections, for few, in blue.
Although, none is devoid of mistakes. These are to the extent of my frail understanding. I'll surely try to attempt this one in my own way but, let the time allow me...

Regards.

[Nasrullah]

Originally Posted by Raja Bahar

A poor dies after sixty years in the very same state in which he was born as democracy is still developing in our country because marshal-law created hindrance in its way other wise we would have a country like Japan, China, America and England!

It should be like this..

A poor dies after sixty years in the very same state in which he was born. A free and fair democracy is still alien to our country. Quite often dictators stood in the way of democracy with their own spelt agendas. Had it not been, we would have a country like Japan, China...

Originally Posted by Raja Bahar

Since 2001 up-till-now Pakistan is a security risk country as every day we hear about bomb-blasts, target-killings, sectarian as well as ethnic killings. Now the question arises in my mind that what hundreds of thousands officers of agencies, police, rangers and officials are doing? Are they unable to identify and arrest those people? If they are so then why they are being paid heavily and enjoying luxurious facilities?

Since 2001, Pakistan has been a security risk state. For everyday we hear of bomb blasts, targeted killings, sectarian killings etc. A question flushes in my mind. What these hundred of thousands of law enforcement officials are doing? Are they unable to identify and arrest those responsible culprits? If so, then why they are being paid so heavily and allowed to enjoy other luxuries.

Originally Posted by Raja Bahar

I am looking for the comments from all the respected forum members. please comment or even criticism will highly be appreciated from my side. Thanks

Dear Raja!
There are few other mistakes as well for that I am in doubt. However, seniors would serve your purpose well.

Stay blessed!




Thanks..