Elements of Style

[Shahbaz Asghar]

4. REDUNDANT PHRASES

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words. Getting rid of unnecessary words will make your writing clearer and more effective.


1. Absolutely essential ( You don't need absolutely)
Example: Fresh eggs are absolutely essential to this recipe.
Better: Fresh eggs are essential to this recipe.
2. Absolutely necessary (You don't need absolutely)
Example: Reading is absolutely necessary to write well.
Better: Reading is necessary to write well.
3. Actual facts (You don't need actual)
Example: Listen to the actual facts of the case.
Better: Listen to the facts of the case.
4. Advance forward (You don't need forward)
Example: The army advanced forward.
Better: The army advanced.
5. Advance planning (You don't need advance)
Example: The heist required advanced planning.
Better: The heist required planning.
6. Advance warning (You don't need advance)
Example: The storm hit with no advance warning.
Better: The storm hit with no warning.
7. Add an additional (You don't need additional)
Example: Add an additional string to your bow.
Better: Add a string to your bow.
8. Add up (You don't need up)
Example: Add up your hours and see if you qualify for overtime.
Better: Add your hours and see if you qualify for overtime.
9. All time record (You don't need all time)
Example: He broke the all time record for home runs.
Better: He broke the record for home runs.
10. Alternative choice (You don't need choice)
Example: He had no alternative choice but to fight.
Better: He had no alternative but to fight.
11. All throughout (You don't need all)
Example: War exists all throughout history.
Better: War exists throughout history.
12. And etc (You don't need and)
Example: She loved dogs, cats, frogs, and etc.
Better: She loved dogs, cats, frogs, etc.
13. Armed gunman (You don't need armed)
Example: An armed gunman robbed the bank today.
Better: A gunman robbed the bank today.
14. Ascend up (You don't need up)
Example: Ascend up the steps to reach the top.
Better: Ascend the steps to reach the top.
15. Ask the question (You don't need the question)
Example: Ask the question to you mother.
Better: Ask your mother.
16. Assemble together (You don't need together)
Example: Assemble together the parts included in the box.
Better: Assemble the parts included in the box.
17. Bald headed (You don't need headed)
Example: He was bald-headed.
Better: He was bald.
18. Basic necessities (You don't need basic)
Example: Prepare for disasters by stocking basic necessities.
Better: Prepare for disaster by stocking necessities.
19. Blend together (You don't need together)
Example: The colours blend together nicely.
Better: The colours blend nicely.
20. Bouquet of flowers (You don't need of flowers)
Example: The bouquet of flowers was beautiful.
Better: The bouquet was beautiful.
21. Brief moment (You don't need brief)
Example: For a brief moment, he was speechless.
Better: For a moment, he was speechless.
22. Closed fist (You don't need closed)
Example: He hit me with his closed fist.
Better: He hit me with his fist.
23. Completely destroy (You don't need completely)
Example: Aslam completely destroyed his room.
Better: Aslam destroyed his room.
24. Completely filled (You don't need completely)
Example: He completely filled his cup.
Better: He filled his cup.
25. Connect together (You don't need together)
Example: Connect together the two wires.
Better: Connect the two wires.
26. Could possibly (You don't need possibly)
Example: You could possibly win.
Better: You could win.
27. Crisis situation (You don't need situation)
Example: In a crisis situation try to relax and think clearly.
Better: In a crisis try to relax and think clearly.
28. Current trend (You don't need current)
Example: Some say blogging is a current trend that won't last.
Better: Some say blogging is a trend that won't last.
29. Descend down (You don't need down)
Example: Descend down the steps to exit the building.
Better: Descend the steps to exit the building.
30. Different kinds (You don't need different)
Example: The chart lists five different kinds of animals.
Better: The chart lists five kinds of animals.
31. During the course of (You don't need the course of)
Example: The forecast will change during the course of the day.
Better: The forecast will change during the day.
32. Each and every (You don't need and every)
Example: I loved each and every one of them.
Better: I loved each one of them.
33. Emergency situation (You don't need situation)
Example: We have an emergency situation at the school.
Better: We have an emergency at the school.
34. End result (You don't need end)
Example: Study and the end results will please you.
Better: Study and the results will please you.
35. Enter in (You don't need in)
Example: Enter in your name and email address.
Better: Enter your name and email address.
36. Equal to one another (You don't need to one another)
Example: They are equal to one another in size.
Better: They are equal in size.
37. Eradicate completely (You don't need completely)
Example: We must eradicate completely these roaches.
Better: We must eradicate these roaches.
38. Every single person (You don't need single; unless referring to marital status)
Example: Every single person should attend.
Better: Every person should attend.
39. Fall down (You don't need down)
Example: If you fall down, try again.
Better: If you fall, try again.
40. Few in number (You don't need in number)
Example: First-time home-buyers are too few in number to absorb excess inventory.
Better: First-time home-buyers are too few to absorb excess inventory.
41. Filled to capacity (You don't need to capacity)
Example: The stadium was filled to capacity with anxious fans.
Better: The stadium was filled with anxious fans. Or Anxious fans filled the stadium.
42. Final conclusion (You don't need final)
Example: He came to a final conclusion that he hated his job.
Better: He came to a conclusion that he hated his job.
43. Final ultimatum (You don't need final)
Example: I gave him a final ultimatum.
Better: I gave him an ultimatum.
44. First of all (You don't need of all)
Example: First of all, I didn't tell him your name.
Better: First, I didn't tell him your name.
45. Fly through the air (You don't need through the air)
Example: The bird flew through the air above us.
Better: The bird flew above us.
46. Foreign imports (You don't need foreign)
Example: He believes foreign imports hurt our country's economy.
Better: He believes imports hurt our country's economy.
47. Former graduate (You don't need former)
Example: She was a former graduate of Harvard.
Better: She was a graduate of Harvard Or She was a Harvard graduate.
48. Free gift (You don't need free)
Example: You get a free gift if you complete the survey.
Better: You get a gift if you complete the survey.
49. Frozen ice (You don't need frozen)
Example: He fell through the frozen ice.
Better: He fell through the ice.
50. Fuse together (You don't need together)
Example: Fuse together the wires and continue with the next step.
Better: Fuse the wires and continue with the next step.
51. Future plans (You don't need future)
Example: What are your future plans for college?
Better: What are your plans for college?
52. General public (You don't need general)
Example: The portable bathrooms are for the general public.
Better: The portable bathrooms are for the public.
53. Heat up (You don't need up)
Example: Heat up the soup.
Better: Heat the soup.
54. Hollow tube (You don't need hollow)
Example: He slid down the hollow tube at the water park.
Better: He slid down the tube at the water park.
55. Integrate with each other (You don't need with each other)
Example: The two systems must integrate with each other to share data.
Better: The two systems must integrate to share data.
56. In order to (You don't need in order)
Example: In order to succeed, you must work hard.
Better: To succeed, you must work hard.
57. Introduce a new (You don't need a new)
Example: They introduced a new software upgrade.
Better: They introduce a software upgrade.
58. Join together (You don't need together)
Example: They join together as one.
Better: They join as one.
59. Joint collaboration (You don't need joint)
Example: The joint collaboration between state and federal agencies failed.
Better: The collaboration between state and federal agencies failed.
60. Kneel down (You don't need down)
Example: Kneel down before God Almighty.
Better: Kneel before God Almighty.
61. Later time (You don't need time)
Example: Call me at a later time.
Better: Call me later.
62. Lift up (You don't need up)
Example: Lift up the weight.
Better: Lift the weight.
63. Made out of (You don't need out)
Example: It was made out of wood.
Better: It was made of wood.
64. Major breakthrough (You don't need major)
Example: The invention was a major breakthrough in nuclear technology.
Better: The invention was a breakthrough in nuclear technology.
65. May possibly (You don't need possibly)
Example: She may possibly get the job.
Better: She may get the job.
66. Meet together (You don't need together)
Example: The two roads meet together at the traffic circle.
Better: The two roads meet at the traffic circle.
67. Meet with each other (You don't need with each other)
Example: We met with each other to discuss her offer.
Better: We met to discuss her offer.
68. Merge together (You don't need together)
Example: Our companies should merge together.
Better: Our companies should merge.
69. Mix together (You don't need together)
Example: Oil and water don't mix together.
Better: Oil and water don't mix.
70. Most unique (You don't need most)
Example: His poetry is most unique.
Better: His poetry is unique.
71. Mutual cooperation (You don't need mutual)
Example: We need mutual cooperation to succeed.
Better: We need cooperation to succeed.
72. Mutual respect for each other (You don't need for each other)
Example: My father and I have mutual respect for each other.
Better: My father and I have mutual respect.
73. Never before (You don't need before)
Example: Never before have I been so offended.
Better: Never have I been so offended.
74. New innovation (You don't need new)
Example: It was a new innovation to content marketing.
Better: It was an innovation to content marketing.
75. New invention (You don't need new)
Example: The new invention would change the world.
Better: The invention would change the world.
76. None at all (You don't need at all)
Example: None at all survived.
Better: None survived.
77. Now pending (You don't need now)
Example: Our request is now pending.
Better: Our request is pending.
78. Open up (You don't need up; unless talking about someone revealing something to you)
Example: Open up the windows.
Better: Open the windows.
79. Originally created (You don't need originally)
Example: Nobody truly knows when the world was originally created.
Better: Nobody truly knows when the world was created.
80. Palm of my hand (You don't need of my hand)
Example: He placed the gun in the palm of my hand.
Better: He placed the gun in my palm.
81. Past experience (You don't need past)
Example: My past experiences are what made me who I am today.
Better: My experiences are what made me who I am today.
82. Penetrate into (You don't need into)
Example: The bullet can easily penetrate into the wood.
Better: The bullet can easily penetrate the wood.
83. Period of time (You don't need of time)
Example: Dinosaurs ruled during that period of time.
Better: Dinosaurs ruled during that period.
84. Personal friend (You don't need personal)
Example: He is a personal friend of mine.
Better: He is a friend of mine.
85. Personal opinion (Your don't need personal)
Example: It is just my personal opinion.
Better: It is just my opinion.
86. Pick and choose (You don't need and choose)
Example: Pick and choose your friends wisely.
Better: Pick your friends wisely.
87. Plunge down (You don't need down)
Example: The stock market plunged down today.
Better: The stock market plunged today.
88. Polar opposites (You don't need polar)
Example: The two friends are polar opposites.
Better: The two friends are opposites.
89. Pouring down rain (You don't need down)
Example: The pouring down rain ruined the picnic.
Better: The pouring rain ruined the picnic.
90. Present time (You don't need time)
Example: He is not available at the present time.
Better: He is not available at present.
91. Protest against (You don't need against)
Example: You must protest against tyranny.
Better: You must protest tyranny.
92. Raise up (You don't need up)
Example: Raise up the flag.
Better: Raise the flag.
93. Reason why (You don't need why)
Example: I'll never know the reason why she left.
Better: I'll never know the reason she left.
94. Reply back (You don't need back)
Example: Reply back to this email to get the special offer.
Better: Reply to this email to get the special offer.
95. Serious danger (You don't need serious)
Example: You are in serious danger.
Better: You are in danger.
96. Still persist (You don't need still)
Example: If symptoms still persist, call you doctor.
Better: If symptoms persists, call your doctor.
97. Surrounded on all sides (You don't need on all sides)
Example: They were surrounded on all sided by enemies.
Better: They were surrounded by enemies.
98. Take a look at (You don't need take a)
Example: Take a look at this photo.
Better: Look at this photo.
99. Two equal halves (You don't need two equal)
Example: Cut the fruit in two equal halves.
Better: Cut the fruit in halves.
100. Write down (You don't need down)
Example: Write down your name on this sheet of paper.
Better: Write you name on this sheet of paper.

Notes Prepared By: Prof. Shahbaz Asghar

[Shahbaz Asghar]

4. AVOID REDUNDANCIES

"I believe more in the scissors than I do in the pencil"

(Truman Capote)

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. Getting rid of unnecessary words will make your writing clearer and more effective. Be ready and strangle the following redundancies.

1. Redundant Adjectives

2. Redundant Adverbs

3. Redundant Nouns

4. Redundant Prepositions

1. REDUNDANT ADJECTIVES

"When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly,

but kill most of them -- then the rest will be valuable."

(Mark Twin)

1. Actual facts

Example: Listen to the actual facts of the case.

Better: Listen to the facts of the case.

2. Advance warning

Example: The storm hit with no advance warning.

Better: The storm hit with no warning.

3. Armed gunman

Example: An armed gunman robbed the bank today.

Better: A gunman robbed the bank today.

4. Basic necessities

Example: Prepare for disasters by stocking basic necessities.

Better: Prepare for disaster by stocking necessities.

5. Current trend

Example: Some say blogging is a current trend that won't last.

Better: Some say blogging is a trend that won't last.

6. Final conclusion

Example: He came to a final conclusion that he hated his job.

Better: He came to a conclusion that he hated his job.

7. Foreign imports

Example: He believes foreign imports hurt our country's economy.

Better: He believes imports hurt our country's economy.

8. Frozen ice

Example: He fell through the frozen ice.

Better: He fell through the ice.

9. Future plans

Example: What are your future plans for college?

Better: What are your plans for college?

10. General public

Example: The portable bathrooms are for the general public.

Better: The portable bathrooms are for the public.

11. Joint collaboration

Example: The joint collaboration between state and federal agencies failed.

Better: The collaboration between state and federal agencies failed.

12. Mutual cooperation

Example: We need mutual cooperation to succeed.

Better: We need cooperation to succeed.

13. New invention

Example: The new invention would change the world.

Better: The invention would change the world.

14. Past experience

Example: My past experiences are what made me who I am today.

Better: My experiences are what made me who I am today.

15. Personal opinion

Example: It is just my personal opinion.

Better: It is just my opinion.


2. REDUNDANT ADVERBS

"I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs........".

(Stephen King, On Writing)

1. Advance forward

Example: The army advanced forward.

Better: The army advanced.

2. Assemble together

Example: Assemble together the parts included in the box.

Better: Assemble the parts included in the box.

3. Blend together

Example: The colours blend together nicely.

Better: The colours blend nicely.

4. Clench tightly

Example: He clenched his teeth tightly.

Better: He clenched his teeth.

5. Combine together

Example: When you combine together your property with his, you will have over two hundred acres.

Better: When you combine your property with his, you will have over two hundred acres.

6. Completely destroy

Example: Aslam completely destroyed his room.

Better: Aslam destroyed his room.

7. Completely finished

Example: She completely finished buttoning Destiny's dress.

Better: She finished buttoning Destiny's dress.

8. Connect together

Example: Connect together the two wires.

Better: Connect the two wires.

9. Eradicate completely

Example: We must eradicate completely these roaches.

Better: We must eradicate these roaches.

10. May possibly

Example: She may possibly get the job.

Better: She may get the job.

11. Meet together

Example: The two roads meet together at the traffic circle.

Better: The two roads meet at the traffic circle.

12. Originally created

Example: Nobody truly knows when the world was originally created.

Better: Nobody truly knows when the world was created.

13. Personally like

Example: I personally don't like wax museums.

Better: I don't like wax museums.

14. Still persist

Example: If symptoms still persist, call you doctor.

Better: If symptoms persist, call your doctor.

15. Yell loudly

Example: He yelled loudly.

Better: He yelled.


3. REDUNDANT NOUNS

The addition of a generic noun after a specific noun is a redundancy; it weakens the specific noun.

1. Alternative choice

Example: He had no alternative choice but to fight.

Better: He had no alternative but to fight.

2. Ask the question

Example: Ask the question to your teacher.

Better: Ask your teacher.

3. Cash money

Example: She did not carry much cash money but credit cards for shopping.

Better: She did not carry much cash but credit cards for shopping.

4. Crisis situation

Example: Although she is very ill, she has passed the crisis situation.

Better: Although she is very ill, she has passed the crisis.

5. Emergency situation

Example: She had come prepared for such an emergency situation, but any delay might prove embarrassing.

Better: She had come prepared of such an emergency, but any delay might prove embarrassing.

6. HIV virus

Example: HIV virus infects vital cells in the human immune system.

Better: HIV infects cells in the human immune system.

7. ISBN number

Example: The ISBN number is a unique numeric commercial book identifier based upon the 9-digit code.

Better: The ISBN is a unique numeric commercial book identifier based upon the 9-digit code

8. Later time

Example: Call me at a later time.

Better: Call me later.

9. Means and methods

Example: He used all means and methods to get his work done.

Better: He used all methods to get his work done.

10. Parts and components

Example: CPU, keyboard, monitor and mouse are the major parts and components of a computer.

Better: CPU, keyboard, monitor and mouse are the major parts of a computer.

11. PIN number

Example: PIN number is a numeric password shared between a user and a system.

Better: PIN is a numeric password shared between a user and a system.

12. Present time

Example: He is not available at the present time.

Better: He is not available at present.

13. Source and origin

Example: The sun is the biggest source and origin of heat and light.

Better: The sun is the biggest source of heat and light.

14. Tuna fish

Example: Pregnant women who eat tuna fish can put their unborn children at risk of developing autism.

Better: Pregnant women who eat tuna can put their unborn children at risk of developing autism.

15. Use and implementation

Example: Ayesha provided a bag of money and she made use and implementation of it in her business.

Better: Ayesha provided a bag of money and she made use of it in her business.



4. REDUNDANT PREPOSITIONS

In a great number of cases, the English verb is not followed by a preposition.

1. Add up

Example: Add up your hours and see if you qualify for overtime.

Better: Add your hours and see if you qualify for overtime.

2. Ascend up

Example: Ascend up the steps to reach the top.

Better: Ascend the steps to reach the top.

3. Enter in

Example: Enter in your name and email address.

Better: Enter your name and email address.

4. Fall down

Example: If you fall down, try again.

Better: If you fall, try again.

5. Heat up

Example: Heat up the soup.

Better: Heat the soup.

6. Kneel down

Example: Kneel down before God Almighty.

Better: Kneel before God Almighty.

7. Lift up

Example: Lift up the weight.

Better: Lift the weight.

8. Penetrate into

Example: The bullet can easily penetrate into the wood.

Better: The bullet can easily penetrate the wood.

9. Plunge down

Example: The stock market plunged down today.

Better: The stock market plunged today.

10. Pouring down rain

Example: The pouring down rain ruined the picnic.

Better: The pouring rain ruined the picnic.

11. Protest against

Example: You must protest against tyranny.

Better: You must protest tyranny.

12. Raise up

Example: Raise up the flag.

Better: Raise the flag.

13. Reflect back

Example: This action reflects back his true beliefs.

Better: This action reflects his true beliefs.

14. Retreat back

Example: When sea ice disappears some polar inhabitants advance, whereas others retreat back.

Better: When sea ice disappears some polar inhabitants advance, whereas others retreat.

15. Write down

Example: Write down your name on this sheet of paper.

Better: Write you name on this sheet of paper.


EXERCISE

Q. Revise the following sentences to eliminate redundancy.

(i) Detective search for the true facts is an investigation.

(ii) The consensus of opinion on the basic fundamentals created the shortest meeting of the year.

(iii) Even though she had performed the operation a numerous number of times, she still reviewed the basic essentials each ad every day.

(iv) The first priority appears to be to group together the children than live in close proximity to one another.

(v) The local residents filled to capacity the new auditorium as they waited to hear the developer recount the past history of the archaeological site.

(vi) Advance planning can avoid total destruction of a historical site.

(vii) In my personal opinion, we should refer back to last year's budget to see how we postponed that expenditure until a later time.

(viii) Physical aerobic exercise is recommended for healthy hearts.

(ix) Modern antiques that have been made recently have been offered at high prices.

(x) Last of all, I would like to completely finish this exercise before I go to bed.

(xi) Although my future plans are uncertain, I intend to adhere to my basic and fundamental belief that humans were meant to be lazy.

(xii) Astonished, the natives stared at the automobile in amazement.

(xiii) People pay good money and spend hard-earned dollars for labour-saving devices to save time from their busy lives.

(xiv) Mall researchers often interview and talk to many people who are respondents for their surveys.

(xv) In a very real sense, the side effects of today's medical discoveries have created many health complications, including results that are not related to drug's purpose.

(xvi) In point of fact, people who fail to have success in their careers frequently give up too easily and are not tenacious in sticking to their goals.

(xvii) Thanks to their joint collaboration, the archaeologists found the handwritten manuscript in the destroyed ruins of the monastery.

(xviii) Her handbag was square in shape.

(xix) It is usually his custom to visit the houses of the affluent rich.

(xx) The group wanted to climb up the very summit at the top of the mountain.

Notes Prepared By: Prof. Shahbaz Asghar