Waqas,
well said indeed.

[QUOTE=futuristic;807729]Well guys I started this thread to know view point regarding the said essay.My fellow aspirants have tried very well and I pray for their mighty success.
Here is my outline ,I need your response.I cleared essay exam twice I.e 2013 and 2014 but you need never know when we is your bad day.
[U][B]OUTLINE[/B][/U]
[B]1.Automobiles.....synching distance or creating panic![/B]
Traffic jams,fuel issue,pollution..
Walk for health
[B]2.Computer and related items...a source of anxiety[/B]
Data coppied,corrupt,theft,operating system problem,software problem,electricity issue!
[B]3.Cellular technology.......leave me alone please!!![/B]
Have you installed the new app?
Charging issue,miss communication,near to friends far from family,increasing debt on p pocket
[B]4.Case studies:[/B]
A.Scottish referendum ....manipulating the results
B.Pharmaceutical industry (in this I explained a scenario in which wrong medicine was packed resulting in deaths)
5[B].IT devices and electronic gadgets .....increased dependence and dissatisfaction[/B]
Electronic dictionary vs printed one
ATM ...... A betrayal
Story of one day before eid.
Fraud,theft
Bank is better
[B]6.Online research: Copy paste PhD.s [/B]
Dilemma of developing countries
[B]7.email vs postal system[/B]
Delivered ,undilevered .....a headache!!
Loss if emotional sentiments and charm of letter opening
[B]8.Impact on our lives[/B]
Idleness,diss satisfaction.psychological distress,emotional disturbances,anxiety and depression.
In between I also added [COLOR="SeaGreen"]xerox machine,biometric system,social media[/COLOR] and problems associated with them.
Kindly share your valuable thoughts.[/QUOTE]
Your approach is fine, and you have very good chances of passing this essay paper.Now just for the sake of improvement and guidance of other members, I would like to make a few points. The topic was about "labour saving devices"; so It would have been very pertinent had you mentioned specific labour saving devices like forklifts, dumper trucks, chainsaw, lathe machines, cleaning machines,spray painting machines, assembly line equipment, etc. and written about their troubles like noise pollution, air pollutants, risk to human life, maintenance costs,need for specialized training to operate these machines, etc.
The main point to be remembered is that the essay was about " labour saving devices" not just about scientific inventions which have made our lives easier.So, in discussing all the examples, It was important to discuss the troubles of the device which was employed to save "labour" and to prove that these troubles were more costly than the actual worth of the device in terms of its efficiency, productivity and actual cost.In this regards, the example of computers which you have discussed in your essay is very relevant, and If you have compared their worth with their troubles then you have met the demand of the topic.Similarly, in all the other examples, one has to draw a comparison and prove the thesis statement.I hope this explanation will be helpful.

Labor saving devices are more troublesome than the worth.
 

Here is my outline. Its simple and clear. Its short but explanatory. :) Criticism is welcome.

[B]1- Introduction[/B]

[B]2- What are labor saving devices[/B]

[B]3- Benefits of labor saving devices[/B]
a) Reduced cost
b) Error free automation
c) Supports easy expansion of a business

[B]4- Hazards of labor saving devices[/B]
a) Unemployment
b) Capitalist economy
c) Social and moral disaster
d) Environmental pollution
e) Labor free society
f) Real world examples

[B]5- Conclusion[/B]

[QUOTE=waqas izhar;807760]@ futuristic

Bro your perspective is perfect i would say but here it is...

An outline is supposed to be 'clear'. see your outline begins with:

1.Automobiles.....synching distance or creating panic!

so what? What does it even mean? What are you trying to say?

the first line under the introduction heading should be your thesis statement. in this case you should have said that labor saving devices are more blah blah blah.

then your heading should have been:
2. Some labor saving devices which are more troublesome than they are worth:
2.1
2.2

you have to guide the examiner. facilitate him. in your outline he has to do a lot of brain work. i hope i am able to convey my point.[/QUOTE]
Valuable comments waqas
i shall like to answer your points
First, my thesis statement was crystal clear in the introduction part.
Second,I know you have to facilitate the examiner but i think in doing so you become a 5th grader.
Like as you say i must have written following labor saving devices are more troublesome:
Car
motorbike
cell phone
computer
What impression would it have given to the examiner? obviously this is a competitive exam.It requires some maturity.
I think examiner needs clarity rather than facilitation.
any how thanks alot buddy.

[QUOTE=behumble;807857]Here is my outline. Its simple and clear. Its short but explanatory. :) Criticism is welcome.

[B]1- Introduction[/B]

[B]2- What are labor saving devices[/B]

[B]3- Benefits of labor saving devices[/B]
a) Reduced cost
b) Error free automation
c) Supports easy expansion of a business

[B]4- Hazards of labor saving devices[/B]
a) Unemployment
b) Capitalist economy
c) Social and moral disaster
d) Environmental pollution
e) Labor free society
f) Real world examples

[B]5- Conclusion[/B][/QUOTE]
Nice attempt
Following aspects are noteworthy.
1.benefits of labor saving devices was not asked infact a comparison had to be made in which you must vote in favour of troubles associated with labor saving devices.
2.what are labor saving devices? This should have been given minimal importance.
Good luck.

[QUOTE=futuristic;808024]Nice attempt[/QUOTE]
Nice attempt
Following aspects are noteworthy.
1.benefits of labor saving devices was not asked infact a comparison had to be made in which you must vote in favour of troubles associated with labor saving devices.
2.what are labor saving devices? This should have been given minimal importance.
Good luck.

[QUOTE=behumble;807857]Here is my outline. Its simple and clear. Its short but explanatory. :) Criticism is welcome.

[B]1- Introduction[/B]

[B]2- What are labor saving devices[/B]

[B]3- Benefits of labor saving devices[/B]
a) Reduced cost
b) Error free automation
c) Supports easy expansion of a business

[B]4- Hazards of labor saving devices[/B]
a) Unemployment
b) Capitalist economy
c) Social and moral disaster
d) Environmental pollution
e) Labor free society
f) Real world examples

[B]5- Conclusion[/B][/QUOTE]
this is the comprehensive outline i was looking for.i was wondering if some one has mentioned the environmental problems.most of the aspirants seemed to have followed a narrow theme,focusing on one aspect of the essay.i wish i had attempted the essay like this.
well done

[QUOTE=khuram fayyaz;806636]Anyone here from medical field ??[/QUOTE]yes i am:ninja:

Very worried about my essay
 

Please give remarks on my outline on labor saving....
The evolution of man from stones to machines
How man has made luxury available at a single click of button
With every utility comes responsibility
How utilities can be hazardous if not handled with responsibility
Then I gave examples of at least five different utilities comparing their benefits with hazards and putting more stress on hazards part
(Automobiles cyber technology home electronic appliances and 2-3 others I don't much remember)
In conclusion told some responsibilities that govt and manufacturers should take
The sad part is that i couldn't complete the conclusion midway
My font was small (10-12 words per line) and 6.5 pages which would make it about 2000 words. Unfortunately I spent half of the time brainstorming :(
All are requested to give sincere evaluations on it
P.s. this is not the exact outline I have only given rough ideas which I discussed
Waiting for the responses

Can someone please evaluate my outline ?