Below is the Essay. I want the seniors to mark it

[Fazal Muhammad Khan]

Gender Parity Still Remains a Myth in Pakistan
Introduction:
We inhabit a society where the hierarchy of gender has been constructed in such a way so as to legitimize the male authority over women. This social construction has conversely provided the basis for gender-based violence, inequality and discrimination in various ways in the callous patriarchal society of Pakistan.
In order to tackle this scavenging patriarchal mindset, the government of Pakistan, in particular, and independent organizations, in general, have come up with legislative and social reforms in the past to address the problem of violence against women and ensure the protection of women’s rights. Such legislative measures taken on national and global level; public awareness programs conducted by government itself and independent organizations to discourage violence, inequality and discrimination against women; and the fruitful role of media in discouraging the social practices which are injurious to women have encouraged women to part actively in the socioeconomic and political development of the country. They have resorted to “Quiet Revolution”, a term which connotes the unexpected entry of women in significant number into the labor market.
An apparent example of “Quiet Revolution” is evident from the fact that the number of girls enrolled for primary education has exponentially increased from 3.7 million in 1993 to 8.3 million in 2010. Similarly, the number of girls acquiring secondary education has seen a surge from 100400 in 1993 to 261000 in 2010. The real revolution has occurred in the universities where the number of female student was less than 15,000 in1993; it rose to 436,000 in 2010.
In addition, there are a number of sectors in the modern spheres of economy where the women now make up a significant part of the workforce. These include the traditional areas of teaching and medicine. Technically educated and skilled women have become the active players in the sectors such as banking, communication, law and politics. They also now make the significant proportion of work force in information technology (IT) industry. Besides, they are actively engaged in the livestock sector of the country. To put in a nutshell, the empowering measures, legislative steps and social reforms by government and other independent institutions have encouraged women in Pakistan to play their effective part in the socioeconomic and political development of the country.
The Current State of Women Rights in Pakistan:
Though acts such as above have ameliorated the position of women and strengthened their protection against abuses, their rights and empowering measures in Pakistan continue to fall short of projections and promises. Pakistan ranks 82 out of 93 countries in Gender Empowerment Measure and 115 out of 146 countries in Gender Inequality Index 2011. The cases of violence against women have exponentially increased from 7571 in 2008 to 8539 by December 2011. The female literacy rate stands at 40 % despite the government’s commitment under “Millennium Development Goals” to 87 % women’s literacy rate by 2011. This grim picture of women’s rights in the country certainly makes it incumbent upon the government, in particular, and international organizations, in particular, to conduct public awareness programs among the illiterate masses in the country and amend the constitutional provisions pertaining to women’s rights so as to safeguard them and, hence, empower the women.
Women’s Political Participation:
The current representation of women in national and provincial legislature is ensured at 17% seats reserved for women. They occupy 22.2 % seats in the National Assembly, 17% seats in Senate and 17.6% seats in the provincial assemblies. Surveys show that the women on reserved seats have been among the most active members of the parliament. Of the 69 private member bills, 51 were introduced by the women on reserved seats in 2008-09. The scenario was no different in 2010-11 either. These women parliamentarians challenged social and cultural norms and introduced bills against domestic violence, women trafficking, discriminatory practices against women, and bills pertaining to women’s reproductive rights. In addition, they have also introduced bills and amendments pertaining to the broad range of issues ranging from citizenships to anti-terrorism.
Legislation- Status and Implementation:
There has been a significant progress in legislation on women’s issues in Pakistan and several laws have been enacted for the protection and promotion of women’s rights in the period between 2010 and March 2012. These laws criminalize forced marriages and other such customary practices which are discriminating against women such as domestic violence, crimes and sexual harassments within the workplace. However, the implementation of these laws is largely hampered due to the prevalent patriarchal mind setup of the law enforcement agencies.
Violence against Women:
Women in Pakistan suffer all kinds of violence ranging from rape, mutilation, petrol burning and custodial torture and abuse, to disfiguring of face by acid attacks, ritual honour killings, forced marriages and marriage with the Holy Quran. The widespread domestic violence which ranges from simple beating, slapping, hitting, and kicking, to murder goes unnoticed as the society, tribes, different clans and the police view it as private cultural norm. Various independent reports and surveys conducted on women rights in recent years have shown an increase in such inhuman brutalities by 13 % since 2008.
Home Based Workers:
It has been estimated that the proportion of women in 8.52 million home-based workers in Pakistan is 65%. At present, however, neither these workers nor their terms of employment and their working conditions are governed by any legislation.
Minority Women’s Rights:
Hindus and Christians confront increasing social discrimination and stigma based on stereotypes. In case of violence and discrimination, women of these religious minorities face double jeopardy-both on account of their gender and religion. They come across multiple social problems including abduction, forced conversion, and marriages of women from Hindu and Christian communities with Muslim men. The worst of these crimes so far has been the forced conversion to Islam. Although the constitution of Pakistan contains provisions for the guarantee of freedom of belief and equal protection before the law, Human Rights Commission of Pakistan has reported 25 forced conversions per month in Pakistan.
Honour killing:
One of the most shocking and ruthless crime committed against women is the “Honour Killing”. In our society, Honour does not really mean what it actually means. It is, however, meant as “The fundamental right of man to have the possession of woman as a property”. This form of “Honour (Ghairat)” not only restricts the liberty of women under the pretext of protection aganst immoral acts, it has also authorized (though not legally) men to take the lives of women if they defame the (so-called) family’s honour by the marriages of their own choice etc. This brutality has taken the lives of 943 women in the year 2011, according to the report of Human Rights Commission of Pakistan.
Inheritance:
The constitution of Pakistan gives women the legal right to own property. However, it is the customary practice that dictates what women are allowed to own. Their right to inheritance is easily evaded under social and family pressure. These orthodox customary practices deprive the widow of their right to inheritance it they remarry outside the family of the diseased husband even though the law prescribes a prompt division of the diseased assets and women’s right to her share.
Another such inhumane practice is the “Haq-e-bakhshwana” whereby girls are either never married or married to Quran in order prevent the property going out of the family. Similarly, cousin marriages and “watta satta” (exchange marriage whereby one set of brother and sister are married to one another) marriages are designed to prevent breakup of property as the size of the land is associated with power and status.



Alternate Dispute Resolution Mechanism:
The alternate dispute resolution mechanisms such as jirga and punchayat undermine women’s right by continuing to perpetuate their voicelessness and vulnerability to physical, social and sexual exploitation.
Early Age Marriages:
Young age marriages continue to be a challenge for female empowerment in Pakistan. 40% girls are married by age 18, and 13% by age 15. One woman dies in very 20 minutes during childbirth because of early age marriages.
Suggestions:
Given the effective role the female parliamentarians have played in legislation and in order for the increased rational women’s contributions in all social and political matters and, hence, their empowerment, Government should increase the reserved quota seats for women to 33%.
Moreover, In order to ensure the implementation of the women friendly legislations in letter and spirit, gender-sensitization training needs to be incorporated as part of the fundamental training at the time of induction and must become the prerequisite for promotion within police, judiciary and the local administration. These departments along with medico-legal units and burn units in hospitals should be given proper orientation on laws relating to the protection of women against various forms of violence.
The government, to combat crimes of violence, must address gaps and gender-biases in educational and professional textbooks and training curricula for the advancement of gender-sensitive and rights-based approach towards public service. Besides, it should establish the new or strengthen the existing support structures (Women’s Shelters, Crisis Centers and Burn Units at hospitals for the treatment of victims of the violence) for the victims of violence.
Government should recognize the home-based workers and make arrangements for their registration along with registering their category of work. The role of women and their contribution in labor force need to be improved. They should be provided with equal opportunities by introducing the principle of equal pay for the work of equal value.
Legislative and administrative efforts should be made, in particular, to end forced conversions to Islam of vulnerable women belonging to religious minorities and, in general, the other crimes associated with minority women. The victims of these malpractices should be provided with effective redress and protection. On the executive front, the representation of women belonging to religious minorities against reserved seats should be ensured.
Furthermore, the government, media, educational institutes and non-governmental organizations should take adequate steps for the public disapproval of “Honour Killing”, a ruthless inhumane malpractice.
Recent amendments in Criminal law Amendment Act 2004-05 related to prevention of ant-women practices have criminalized the act of depriving women of their right to inheritance and have introduced provisions that carry physical and/or material punishment for perpetrators. The effectiveness of this legislation and other such legislations introduced in the recent years remains to be seen.
Effective steps need to be taken to bring an end to such dispute resolution mechanisms that exploit women’s rights.
The child Marriage Restraint Act a minimum establishes age of marriage at 16 for girls and 18 for boys despite the overwhelming evidence of its negative effect on their physical, emotional and mental wellbeing. Amendment should be introduced in this act to establish 18 year as the minimum age of marriage and to criminalize young age marriages with heavy fines and punishments. Inconsistency in the law on minimum age of marriage also needs t be removed.
Conclusions:
Though women have shown their worth as leaders, administrators and professionals, there is still a long way to go. Government, media, educational institutes, NGOs and other organizations, all have to play their part in helping women shake off the age- old shackles of slavery, fight unhealthy superstitions, develop their mental caliber and come out into the open field to share the social, economic and political responsibilities with men shoulder to shoulder.
Parliament has just recently passed the “The prevention of Anti-women Practices Act 2011” and “The Acid Control and Acid Crime Prevention Bill 2010” with a view to strengthening the women’s protection against abuses.
Government, on one hand, needs to take adequate and effective steps in order to insure the full implementation of these laws. On the other hand, government and independent organizations should conduct public awareness programs amongst the masses for the public disapproval of violence against women.
The media should also play its part in this regard by discouraging the social practices which are injurious to women. Women should be educated so as to make them aware of their due rights. Their active participation should be encouraged for the socioeconomic development.
Above all, the effective rehabilitation programs should be introduced by the Government, in particular, and the psychiatrists and educationists, in general, for those women who have fallen prey to acid attacks, rape, domestic violence, forced marriages or any other form of brutality. Such programs will help them overcome their inferiority complex and contribute effectively to the socioeconomic and political development of society.

[Fazal Muhammad Khan]

Seniors please mark this essay and critically analyse it.

[UltimateCSP]

Nice attempt..

You have collected very good material but at some places you have messed up the facts. Never forget to make an outline for your essay. Giving an outline in the begining of the essay is always a good idea. It keeps the writer on right track.

Introduction of an essay should be a real INTRODUCTION of the essay. In other words it should be a sort of short summary of the essay. In your introduction you have given a steadily improving and somewhat charming picture of the woman in Pakistan while you are writing about 'gender parity still remains a myth in Pakistan'!! Your introduction contradicts your essay topic.

The body of your essay demands arrangement. At one point you are talking about the gloomy status of woman (watta-satta and cousin marriages) and at the very next point you are talking about the factors that lead to the gloomy status of woman (alternate dispute resolution mechanism) and then you start talking about the current status of woman rights. You see this sort of arrangement is making your message quite vague.

Before writing, Categorize all parts of your essay. For instance you can categorize your material like this

Steps taken by government for gender parity:
(Start from 1947, discuss each important legislation but briefly)

• Sufferage since the inception of Pakistan
• Muslim personal Law of sharia 1948
• Muslim family law ordinance 1961
• Article 25 and 34 of 1973 constitution--ensure gender equality
• ......................
• addition of 10 per cent quota in CSS
• .......................so on

Improvement in the status of woman:
You have discussed this portion in an excellent way in the beginning of your essay.

Gender Parity--still a myth

Woman-Victim of injustice in social department

• Illitracy
• domestic violence
• no choice of mate selection
• honor killing
• confinement within four walls
• no say in decision making
• sexual harassment
• acid throwing
• rapes
• remarriage as a taboo
• .........................
• ........................ etc

Woamn-Victim of injustice in economic department

• deprived of inheritance
• low wages
• Labor force
• .........................
• ........................ etc

Woman-Victim of injustice in political department

• limited mobility
• little say in electoral process
• ......................
• ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, etc

Factors that blighted the woman in Pakistan
(I don't see any reason to discuss factors here, even then if you want to talk about them, do talk but in a single paragraph and in a very clear manner)

Political factors

• hegemony of feudal lords
• women hadood ordinance 1979
• legislation but no implementation
• ...

Social factors

• alternate dispute resolution system
• ....

Religious factors

• role of so called mullahs
• misinterpretation of Islam

Suggestions to improve the situation:
Again, I don't see any reason to give suggestions here, after all we are writing about 'gender parity is still a myth in Pakistan' and not about 'gender parity'. Even then if you want to give suggestions, give them precisely in a single short paragraph.

Conclusion:
Your conclusion should be very strong. More importantly it should not be all about should should and should. i.e. Government should do this.. Media should do that.. we should not do this...
In your conclusion logically prove your thesis statement. Give all the facts that you have discussed in the body of the essay in two or three lines thus build a compelling logic to prove your thesis statement (i.e gender parity really remains a myth in Pakistan). Your last two or three sentence can be about "shoulds". It is always a good idea to give an optimistic end.


PS: I am not an authority in essay writing. These are just my own views.

[adeel abdullah]

Originally Posted by Fazal Muhammad Khan

Gender Parity Still Remains a Myth in Pakistan
Introduction:
We inhabit a society where the hierarchy of gender has been constructed in such a way so as to legitimize the male authority over women. This social construction has conversely provided the basis for gender-based violence, inequality and discrimination in various ways in the callous patriarchal society of Pakistan.
In order to tackle this scavenging patriarchal mindset, the government of Pakistan, in particular, and independent organizations, in general, have come up with legislative and social reforms in the past to address the problem of violence against women and ensure the protection of women’s rights. Such legislative measures taken on national and global level; public awareness programs conducted by government itself and independent organizations to discourage violence, inequality and discrimination against women; and the fruitful role of media in discouraging the social practices which are injurious to women have encouraged women to part actively in the socioeconomic and political development of the country. They have resorted to “Quiet Revolution”, a term which connotes the unexpected entry of women in significant number into the labor market.
An apparent example of “Quiet Revolution” is evident from the fact that the number of girls enrolled for primary education has exponentially increased from 3.7 million in 1993 to 8.3 million in 2010. Similarly, the number of girls acquiring secondary education has seen a surge from 100400 in 1993 to 261000 in 2010. The real revolution has occurred in the universities where the number of female student was less than 15,000 in1993; it rose to 436,000 in 2010.
In addition, there are a number of sectors in the modern spheres of economy where the women now make up a significant part of the workforce. These include the traditional areas of teaching and medicine. Technically educated and skilled women have become the active players in the sectors such as banking, communication, law and politics. They also now make the significant proportion of work force in information technology (IT) industry. Besides, they are actively engaged in the livestock sector of the country. To put in a nutshell, the empowering measures, legislative steps and social reforms by government and other independent institutions have encouraged women in Pakistan to play their effective part in the socioeconomic and political development of the country.
The Current State of Women Rights in Pakistan:
Though acts such as above have ameliorated the position of women and strengthened their protection against abuses, their rights and empowering measures in Pakistan continue to fall short of projections and promises. Pakistan ranks 82 out of 93 countries in Gender Empowerment Measure and 115 out of 146 countries in Gender Inequality Index 2011. The cases of violence against women have exponentially increased from 7571 in 2008 to 8539 by December 2011. The female literacy rate stands at 40 % despite the government’s commitment under “Millennium Development Goals” to 87 % women’s literacy rate by 2011. This grim picture of women’s rights in the country certainly makes it incumbent upon the government, in particular, and international organizations, in particular, to conduct public awareness programs among the illiterate masses in the country and amend the constitutional provisions pertaining to women’s rights so as to safeguard them and, hence, empower the women.
Women’s Political Participation:
The current representation of women in national and provincial legislature is ensured at 17% seats reserved for women. They occupy 22.2 % seats in the National Assembly, 17% seats in Senate and 17.6% seats in the provincial assemblies. Surveys show that the women on reserved seats have been among the most active members of the parliament. Of the 69 private member bills, 51 were introduced by the women on reserved seats in 2008-09. The scenario was no different in 2010-11 either. These women parliamentarians challenged social and cultural norms and introduced bills against domestic violence, women trafficking, discriminatory practices against women, and bills pertaining to women’s reproductive rights. In addition, they have also introduced bills and amendments pertaining to the broad range of issues ranging from citizenships to anti-terrorism.
Legislation- Status and Implementation:
There has been a significant progress in legislation on women’s issues in Pakistan and several laws have been enacted for the protection and promotion of women’s rights in the period between 2010 and March 2012. These laws criminalize forced marriages and other such customary practices which are discriminating against women such as domestic violence, crimes and sexual harassments within the workplace. However, the implementation of these laws is largely hampered due to the prevalent patriarchal mind setup of the law enforcement agencies.
Violence against Women:
Women in Pakistan suffer all kinds of violence ranging from rape, mutilation, petrol burning and custodial torture and abuse, to disfiguring of face by acid attacks, ritual honour killings, forced marriages and marriage with the Holy Quran. The widespread domestic violence which ranges from simple beating, slapping, hitting, and kicking, to murder goes unnoticed as the society, tribes, different clans and the police view it as private cultural norm. Various independent reports and surveys conducted on women rights in recent years have shown an increase in such inhuman brutalities by 13 % since 2008.
Home Based Workers:
It has been estimated that the proportion of women in 8.52 million home-based workers in Pakistan is 65%. At present, however, neither these workers nor their terms of employment and their working conditions are governed by any legislation.
Minority Women’s Rights:
Hindus and Christians confront increasing social discrimination and stigma based on stereotypes. In case of violence and discrimination, women of these religious minorities face double jeopardy-both on account of their gender and religion. They come across multiple social problems including abduction, forced conversion, and marriages of women from Hindu and Christian communities with Muslim men. The worst of these crimes so far has been the forced conversion to Islam. Although the constitution of Pakistan contains provisions for the guarantee of freedom of belief and equal protection before the law, Human Rights Commission of Pakistan has reported 25 forced conversions per month in Pakistan.
Honour killing:
One of the most shocking and ruthless crime committed against women is the “Honour Killing”. In our society, Honour does not really mean what it actually means. It is, however, meant as “The fundamental right of man to have the possession of woman as a property”. This form of “Honour (Ghairat)” not only restricts the liberty of women under the pretext of protection aganst immoral acts, it has also authorized (though not legally) men to take the lives of women if they defame the (so-called) family’s honour by the marriages of their own choice etc. This brutality has taken the lives of 943 women in the year 2011, according to the report of Human Rights Commission of Pakistan.
Inheritance:
The constitution of Pakistan gives women the legal right to own property. However, it is the customary practice that dictates what women are allowed to own. Their right to inheritance is easily evaded under social and family pressure. These orthodox customary practices deprive the widow of their right to inheritance it they remarry outside the family of the diseased husband even though the law prescribes a prompt division of the diseased assets and women’s right to her share.
Another such inhumane practice is the “Haq-e-bakhshwana” whereby girls are either never married or married to Quran in order prevent the property going out of the family. Similarly, cousin marriages and “watta satta” (exchange marriage whereby one set of brother and sister are married to one another) marriages are designed to prevent breakup of property as the size of the land is associated with power and status.



Alternate Dispute Resolution Mechanism:
The alternate dispute resolution mechanisms such as jirga and punchayat undermine women’s right by continuing to perpetuate their voicelessness and vulnerability to physical, social and sexual exploitation.
Early Age Marriages:
Young age marriages continue to be a challenge for female empowerment in Pakistan. 40% girls are married by age 18, and 13% by age 15. One woman dies in very 20 minutes during childbirth because of early age marriages.
Suggestions:
Given the effective role the female parliamentarians have played in legislation and in order for the increased rational women’s contributions in all social and political matters and, hence, their empowerment, Government should increase the reserved quota seats for women to 33%.
Moreover, In order to ensure the implementation of the women friendly legislations in letter and spirit, gender-sensitization training needs to be incorporated as part of the fundamental training at the time of induction and must become the prerequisite for promotion within police, judiciary and the local administration. These departments along with medico-legal units and burn units in hospitals should be given proper orientation on laws relating to the protection of women against various forms of violence.
The government, to combat crimes of violence, must address gaps and gender-biases in educational and professional textbooks and training curricula for the advancement of gender-sensitive and rights-based approach towards public service. Besides, it should establish the new or strengthen the existing support structures (Women’s Shelters, Crisis Centers and Burn Units at hospitals for the treatment of victims of the violence) for the victims of violence.
Government should recognize the home-based workers and make arrangements for their registration along with registering their category of work. The role of women and their contribution in labor force need to be improved. They should be provided with equal opportunities by introducing the principle of equal pay for the work of equal value.
Legislative and administrative efforts should be made, in particular, to end forced conversions to Islam of vulnerable women belonging to religious minorities and, in general, the other crimes associated with minority women. The victims of these malpractices should be provided with effective redress and protection. On the executive front, the representation of women belonging to religious minorities against reserved seats should be ensured.
Furthermore, the government, media, educational institutes and non-governmental organizations should take adequate steps for the public disapproval of “Honour Killing”, a ruthless inhumane malpractice.
Recent amendments in Criminal law Amendment Act 2004-05 related to prevention of ant-women practices have criminalized the act of depriving women of their right to inheritance and have introduced provisions that carry physical and/or material punishment for perpetrators. The effectiveness of this legislation and other such legislations introduced in the recent years remains to be seen.
Effective steps need to be taken to bring an end to such dispute resolution mechanisms that exploit women’s rights.
The child Marriage Restraint Act a minimum establishes age of marriage at 16 for girls and 18 for boys despite the overwhelming evidence of its negative effect on their physical, emotional and mental wellbeing. Amendment should be introduced in this act to establish 18 year as the minimum age of marriage and to criminalize young age marriages with heavy fines and punishments. Inconsistency in the law on minimum age of marriage also needs t be removed.
Conclusions:
Though women have shown their worth as leaders, administrators and professionals, there is still a long way to go. Government, media, educational institutes, NGOs and other organizations, all have to play their part in helping women shake off the age- old shackles of slavery, fight unhealthy superstitions, develop their mental caliber and come out into the open field to share the social, economic and political responsibilities with men shoulder to shoulder.
Parliament has just recently passed the “The prevention of Anti-women Practices Act 2011” and “The Acid Control and Acid Crime Prevention Bill 2010” with a view to strengthening the women’s protection against abuses.
Government, on one hand, needs to take adequate and effective steps in order to insure the full implementation of these laws. On the other hand, government and independent organizations should conduct public awareness programs amongst the masses for the public disapproval of violence against women.
The media should also play its part in this regard by discouraging the social practices which are injurious to women. Women should be educated so as to make them aware of their due rights. Their active participation should be encouraged for the socioeconomic development.
Above all, the effective rehabilitation programs should be introduced by the Government, in particular, and the psychiatrists and educationists, in general, for those women who have fallen prey to acid attacks, rape, domestic violence, forced marriages or any other form of brutality. Such programs will help them overcome their inferiority complex and contribute effectively to the socioeconomic and political development of society.

dear, your subject matter is enough good to make you cross the river, but your outline is missing. create an impressive outline in the start of the essay to ascertain what message you want to convey through your essay.

overall, splendid efforts.

[Fazal Muhammad Khan]

I would appreciate if any CSPs mark this essay out of 100, disregarding the outline and headings.

[usmanmalikali]

Originally Posted by Fazal Muhammad Khan

Gender Parity Still Remains a Myth in Pakistan
Introduction:
We inhabit a society where the hierarchy of gender has been constructed in such a way so as to legitimize the male authority over women. This social construction has conversely provided the basis for gender-based violence, inequality and discrimination in various ways in the callous patriarchal society of Pakistan.
In order to tackle this scavenging patriarchal mindset, the government of Pakistan, in particular, and independent organizations, in general, have come up with legislative and social reforms in the past to address the problem of violence against women and ensure the protection of women’s rights. Such legislative measures taken on national and global level; public awareness programs conducted by government itself and independent organizations to discourage violence, inequality and discrimination against women; and the fruitful role of media in discouraging the social practices which are injurious to women have encouraged women to part actively in the socioeconomic and political development of the country. They have resorted to “Quiet Revolution”, a term which connotes the unexpected entry of women in significant number into the labor market.
An apparent example of “Quiet Revolution” is evident from the fact that the number of girls enrolled for primary education has exponentially increased from 3.7 million in 1993 to 8.3 million in 2010. Similarly, the number of girls acquiring secondary education has seen a surge from 100400 in 1993 to 261000 in 2010. The real revolution has occurred in the universities where the number of female student was less than 15,000 in1993; it rose to 436,000 in 2010.
In addition, there are a number of sectors in the modern spheres of economy where the women now make up a significant part of the workforce. These include the traditional areas of teaching and medicine. Technically educated and skilled women have become the active players in the sectors such as banking, communication, law and politics. They also now make the significant proportion of work force in information technology (IT) industry. Besides, they are actively engaged in the livestock sector of the country. To put in a nutshell, the empowering measures, legislative steps and social reforms by government and other independent institutions have encouraged women in Pakistan to play their effective part in the socioeconomic and political development of the country.
The Current State of Women Rights in Pakistan:
Though acts such as above have ameliorated the position of women and strengthened their protection against abuses, their rights and empowering measures in Pakistan continue to fall short of projections and promises. Pakistan ranks 82 out of 93 countries in Gender Empowerment Measure and 115 out of 146 countries in Gender Inequality Index 2011. The cases of violence against women have exponentially increased from 7571 in 2008 to 8539 by December 2011. The female literacy rate stands at 40 % despite the government’s commitment under “Millennium Development Goals” to 87 % women’s literacy rate by 2011. This grim picture of women’s rights in the country certainly makes it incumbent upon the government, in particular, and international organizations, in particular, to conduct public awareness programs among the illiterate masses in the country and amend the constitutional provisions pertaining to women’s rights so as to safeguard them and, hence, empower the women.
Women’s Political Participation:
The current representation of women in national and provincial legislature is ensured at 17% seats reserved for women. They occupy 22.2 % seats in the National Assembly, 17% seats in Senate and 17.6% seats in the provincial assemblies. Surveys show that the women on reserved seats have been among the most active members of the parliament. Of the 69 private member bills, 51 were introduced by the women on reserved seats in 2008-09. The scenario was no different in 2010-11 either. These women parliamentarians challenged social and cultural norms and introduced bills against domestic violence, women trafficking, discriminatory practices against women, and bills pertaining to women’s reproductive rights. In addition, they have also introduced bills and amendments pertaining to the broad range of issues ranging from citizenships to anti-terrorism.
Legislation- Status and Implementation:
There has been a significant progress in legislation on women’s issues in Pakistan and several laws have been enacted for the protection and promotion of women’s rights in the period between 2010 and March 2012. These laws criminalize forced marriages and other such customary practices which are discriminating against women such as domestic violence, crimes and sexual harassments within the workplace. However, the implementation of these laws is largely hampered due to the prevalent patriarchal mind setup of the law enforcement agencies.
Violence against Women:
Women in Pakistan suffer all kinds of violence ranging from rape, mutilation, petrol burning and custodial torture and abuse, to disfiguring of face by acid attacks, ritual honour killings, forced marriages and marriage with the Holy Quran. The widespread domestic violence which ranges from simple beating, slapping, hitting, and kicking, to murder goes unnoticed as the society, tribes, different clans and the police view it as private cultural norm. Various independent reports and surveys conducted on women rights in recent years have shown an increase in such inhuman brutalities by 13 % since 2008.
Home Based Workers:
It has been estimated that the proportion of women in 8.52 million home-based workers in Pakistan is 65%. At present, however, neither these workers nor their terms of employment and their working conditions are governed by any legislation.
Minority Women’s Rights:
Hindus and Christians confront increasing social discrimination and stigma based on stereotypes. In case of violence and discrimination, women of these religious minorities face double jeopardy-both on account of their gender and religion. They come across multiple social problems including abduction, forced conversion, and marriages of women from Hindu and Christian communities with Muslim men. The worst of these crimes so far has been the forced conversion to Islam. Although the constitution of Pakistan contains provisions for the guarantee of freedom of belief and equal protection before the law, Human Rights Commission of Pakistan has reported 25 forced conversions per month in Pakistan.
Honour killing:
One of the most shocking and ruthless crime committed against women is the “Honour Killing”. In our society, Honour does not really mean what it actually means. It is, however, meant as “The fundamental right of man to have the possession of woman as a property”. This form of “Honour (Ghairat)” not only restricts the liberty of women under the pretext of protection aganst immoral acts, it has also authorized (though not legally) men to take the lives of women if they defame the (so-called) family’s honour by the marriages of their own choice etc. This brutality has taken the lives of 943 women in the year 2011, according to the report of Human Rights Commission of Pakistan.
Inheritance:
The constitution of Pakistan gives women the legal right to own property. However, it is the customary practice that dictates what women are allowed to own. Their right to inheritance is easily evaded under social and family pressure. These orthodox customary practices deprive the widow of their right to inheritance it they remarry outside the family of the diseased husband even though the law prescribes a prompt division of the diseased assets and women’s right to her share.
Another such inhumane practice is the “Haq-e-bakhshwana” whereby girls are either never married or married to Quran in order prevent the property going out of the family. Similarly, cousin marriages and “watta satta” (exchange marriage whereby one set of brother and sister are married to one another) marriages are designed to prevent breakup of property as the size of the land is associated with power and status.



Alternate Dispute Resolution Mechanism:
The alternate dispute resolution mechanisms such as jirga and punchayat undermine women’s right by continuing to perpetuate their voicelessness and vulnerability to physical, social and sexual exploitation.
Early Age Marriages:
Young age marriages continue to be a challenge for female empowerment in Pakistan. 40% girls are married by age 18, and 13% by age 15. One woman dies in very 20 minutes during childbirth because of early age marriages.
Suggestions:
Given the effective role the female parliamentarians have played in legislation and in order for the increased rational women’s contributions in all social and political matters and, hence, their empowerment, Government should increase the reserved quota seats for women to 33%.
Moreover, In order to ensure the implementation of the women friendly legislations in letter and spirit, gender-sensitization training needs to be incorporated as part of the fundamental training at the time of induction and must become the prerequisite for promotion within police, judiciary and the local administration. These departments along with medico-legal units and burn units in hospitals should be given proper orientation on laws relating to the protection of women against various forms of violence.
The government, to combat crimes of violence, must address gaps and gender-biases in educational and professional textbooks and training curricula for the advancement of gender-sensitive and rights-based approach towards public service. Besides, it should establish the new or strengthen the existing support structures (Women’s Shelters, Crisis Centers and Burn Units at hospitals for the treatment of victims of the violence) for the victims of violence.
Government should recognize the home-based workers and make arrangements for their registration along with registering their category of work. The role of women and their contribution in labor force need to be improved. They should be provided with equal opportunities by introducing the principle of equal pay for the work of equal value.
Legislative and administrative efforts should be made, in particular, to end forced conversions to Islam of vulnerable women belonging to religious minorities and, in general, the other crimes associated with minority women. The victims of these malpractices should be provided with effective redress and protection. On the executive front, the representation of women belonging to religious minorities against reserved seats should be ensured.
Furthermore, the government, media, educational institutes and non-governmental organizations should take adequate steps for the public disapproval of “Honour Killing”, a ruthless inhumane malpractice.
Recent amendments in Criminal law Amendment Act 2004-05 related to prevention of ant-women practices have criminalized the act of depriving women of their right to inheritance and have introduced provisions that carry physical and/or material punishment for perpetrators. The effectiveness of this legislation and other such legislations introduced in the recent years remains to be seen.
Effective steps need to be taken to bring an end to such dispute resolution mechanisms that exploit women’s rights.
The child Marriage Restraint Act a minimum establishes age of marriage at 16 for girls and 18 for boys despite the overwhelming evidence of its negative effect on their physical, emotional and mental wellbeing. Amendment should be introduced in this act to establish 18 year as the minimum age of marriage and to criminalize young age marriages with heavy fines and punishments. Inconsistency in the law on minimum age of marriage also needs t be removed.
Conclusions:
Though women have shown their worth as leaders, administrators and professionals, there is still a long way to go. Government, media, educational institutes, NGOs and other organizations, all have to play their part in helping women shake off the age- old shackles of slavery, fight unhealthy superstitions, develop their mental caliber and come out into the open field to share the social, economic and political responsibilities with men shoulder to shoulder.
Parliament has just recently passed the “The prevention of Anti-women Practices Act 2011” and “The Acid Control and Acid Crime Prevention Bill 2010” with a view to strengthening the women’s protection against abuses.
Government, on one hand, needs to take adequate and effective steps in order to insure the full implementation of these laws. On the other hand, government and independent organizations should conduct public awareness programs amongst the masses for the public disapproval of violence against women.
The media should also play its part in this regard by discouraging the social practices which are injurious to women. Women should be educated so as to make them aware of their due rights. Their active participation should be encouraged for the socioeconomic development.
Above all, the effective rehabilitation programs should be introduced by the Government, in particular, and the psychiatrists and educationists, in general, for those women who have fallen prey to acid attacks, rape, domestic violence, forced marriages or any other form of brutality. Such programs will help them overcome their inferiority complex and contribute effectively to the socioeconomic and political development of society.

good attempt with no outline.

[Fazal Muhammad Khan]

Any one or any CSP please please please please evaluate the essay
please please

[Lowe]

Start of the essay is not by a clear and crystalline statement, synonymous with topic. but by heavy criticism on social norms, which was not the topic at all.But it will surely pass because of elaborate arguments,ideas and vocabulary.This is at least 40/100.

[Fazal Muhammad Khan]

Yours marking of my essay (though on the lower side 40) certainly has encouraged me to go for more essays with improvements.

Seniors and csps are requested to kindly mark this essay please