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Dear Senior Members:
Please check my start and ending of Essay (Energy Crisis) and let me know whether it was worth good or not.
"Student with a pen looking at his book in dark room, Childs weeping with their mothers fanning them with hands, an unending queue of vehicles and humans on petrol and CNG stations, a fierce crowd burning tyres on road; ready to kill or be killed' protesting. Patients crying with pain cursing hot weather and Govt. This is neither a trailer of an action movie nor an excerpt from a novel. This is the true picture of world seventh Nuclear power, one of the richest country in coal and gas reserves-Pakistan which is facing the severe energy crisis of the history." This was my start of essay In the end I gave optimistic vision and ended my essay by Robert Frost quote "The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have the promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep." Please analyze and let me know. Regards Mansoor Arshad Khattak. |
Brother.
Both your beginning and ending are quite good. You've started and ended more like a speaker in a speech contest. Apart from very few grammatical mistakes, I can't see anything wrong. Such dramatic introductions are recommended. I hope it clicks as there are few examiners who have some sort of disliking for such style. |
[QUOTE=engr.Mansoor;413022]Please check my start and ending of Essay (Energy Crisis) and let me know whether it was worth good or not.
"Student with a pen looking at his book in dark room, Childs weeping with their mothers fanning them with hands, an unending queue of vehicles and humans on petrol and CNG stations, a fierce crowd burning tyres on road; ready to kill or be killed' protesting. Patients crying with pain cursing hot weather and Govt. This is neither a trailer of an action movie nor an excerpt from a novel. This is the true picture of world seventh Nuclear power, one of the richest country in coal and gas reserves-Pakistan which is facing the severe energy crisis of the history." This was my start of essay In the end I gave optimistic vision and ended my essay by Robert Frost quote "The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have the promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep." Please analyze and let me know. Regards Mansoor Arshad Khattak.[/QUOTE] Success assured for the distinction you have created by your style.:clap |
thanks for Appreciation.
@Kibzai..Abdulsammad:
Thanks brothers for ur appreciation. I am thankful for ur worthy comments. May u all be blessed. regards Mansoor Arshad |
My outline was:
OUTLINE: 1. Introduction 2. Pakistan’s Energy Sector 2.1 Energy Supply 2.2 Energy Consumption 3. Sources of Energy in Pakistan 3.1 Non-renewable resources
(Fossil fuels) a). Petroleum products b). Natural Gas c). Coal 3.2 Renewable Resources a). Hydro power o Current Hydropower stations o Potential Hydropower stations 3.3 Alternative Energy Sources a). Wind b). Solar c). Agricultural biomass / biodiesel d). Tidal 3.4 Nuclear 4. Causes of Energy Crisis 4.1 Growing Energy Demand 4.2 Lack of proactive and integrated planning for production of energy 4.3 Imbalanced energy mix 4.4 Non-utilization of enormous indigenous energy resources a). Thar Coal b). Hydal power generation 5. Consequences of Energy Crisis 5.1 Economic Factors 5.2 Agriculture Sector 5.3 Industrial Sector 5.4 Unemployment 5.5 Social Issues 5.6 Poverty 6. Conclusion 7. Recommendation/Solutions of Energy Crisis 7.1 Judicious energy use/ saving unecessary energy usage o electricity saving devices o Awareness campaign for energy saving o Reduction in unnecessary transportations o Installation of effective equipment/energy efficient in industries o Decreasing line/transmission losses 7.2 Developing new energy resources o Tapping indigenous resources o Using renewable resources (water) by constructing new dams and hydro power plants o Import of natural gas o Utilizing alternative energy resources Wind power Biodiesel /Biomass Solar Tidal o Enhancing civilian nuclear capacity |
[QUOTE=Farrah Zafar;408086][SIZE="5"]The most interesting thing is that I started my essay with my own poem:) I wish I could mention my name :([/SIZE]
[B][CENTER][SIZE="4"][U]The Suffering soul in the scientific age[/U][/SIZE][/CENTER][/B] [CENTER][B][U]Introduction[/U][/B] In pieces my soul has torn, But I have no time to mourn, Time is passing and passing on, Life's vehicle is buzzing its horn, Polluted soul and body deserve not, To face the one who lives in heart, Hatred,malice,envy and lies, on my soul like buboes rise, Would that I were a baby on my death, With a pure heart and sacred breath! [B][U]by Farrah Zafar[/U][/B][/CENTER] [LIST][*]Materialism is the death of spirituality[/LIST][LIST][*]Man's material progress versus moral decline[/LIST] "Man has looked into the volcanoes,dived into the ocean,perforated the earth,winged its flight in the skies.This material progress has led him to ditch of moral deprivation.etc [LIST][*]What is soul and its importance[/LIST][LIST][*]soul is immortal,body is mortal[/LIST][LIST][*]Truth beautifies soul[/LIST], Keats says,[B]"Beauty is truth,truth beauty,that is all ye know on earth and all ye need to know[/B] [LIST][*]description of soul In literary works[/LIST] [B]Faustus[/B] cries out for his soul,fears eternal damnation [B]John Proctor[/B] in "The Crucible" says,[B] I have given you my name,leave me my soul.[/B] [CENTER][B][U][SIZE="3"]Effects of soul's suffering[/SIZE][/U][/B] [/CENTER] [B]On individual level[/B] [LIST][*]Frustration,depression,despondency[/LIST][LIST][*]examples of two men belonging to this scientific age[/LIST] [U]One who seduced female dead bodies[/U] [U]One who raped small children[/U] [B]On Family Level[/B] [LIST][*]weak bond of affection[/LIST][LIST][*]example of [U]western countries[/U][/LIST] [U]old homes,Orphanages (having children who don't know the names of their fathers)[/U] [LIST][*]Youngsters have no sense of direction,they are confused because of weak[/LIST]family institutions [B]On National and International level[/B] [LIST][*]souls have become impure[/LIST][LIST][*]no sympathy for mankind[/LIST] [U]example ,nuclear bombing on Nagasaki [/U] [LIST][*]Material progress has made man hollow inwardly.[/LIST] [B]Seamus Heaney[/B] has depicted well the hollowness of modern man in his poem,[U]"The Hollow Men"[/U] [CENTER][U]Poem by Prabhakar bargurde[/U] [B]Comrade[/B] Don't be in hurry for revolution you are still very small. Your ability to resist atrocities,boycotts and rapes, that go on every moment has become nil, Comrade ! Tomorrow's dawn is yet to rise, sleep undisturbed until then... [SIZE="3"][U][B]Reasons[/B][/U][/SIZE][/CENTER] [B]1)Materialim[/B] [LIST][*]it has deprived man of joy,love,affection and harmony.[/LIST] [LIST][*]he runs after material progress,therefore neglects his soul[/LIST] [B]2)Lust for power[/B] [LIST][*]man wants to attain power by hook or crook,he ignores his soul[/LIST] [B]"Power corrupts man and absolute power corrupts absoulutely" [/B] [U]example of character of [B]Kurtz[/B] by Joseph Conrad.[/U] He cries out,fearing damnation of his soul, [B]"The horror ! The horror"[/B] [B]3)astrayed from religion[/B] [LIST][*]all religions support love and kindness for humanity.People of this scientific[/LIST]age are astrayed from the way of religion,that is why,their souls are suffering. [LIST][*]The sufi poets emphasized on purgation of soul but their messages have been[/LIST]ignored. [LIST][*]A sufi poet said,[/LIST] [B]"Kadi Mann apnay wich tu warrya he nae"[/B] [U]You never introspected your heart. [/U] [LIST][*]Generally all prophets and specifically Holy prophet (PBUH) laid emphasis on[/LIST]love for mankind. [B]"If one kills a man with no reason,one kills the whole humanity" [/B] [CENTER][U][B][SIZE="3"]Solution[/SIZE][/B][/U][/CENTER] [LIST][*]Method of Introspection should be adopted to purify soul[/LIST][LIST][*]Spirituality should be focused rather materialism[/LIST][LIST][*]Love and peace should be spread.[/LIST][LIST][*]Teachings of religions generally and Islam specifically should be followed[/LIST][LIST][*]The only food for soul is self control and prayers[/LIST] [SIZE="4"][CENTER] ہے دل کے لیے موت مشینوں کی حکومت احساس مروت کو کچل دیتے ہیں آلات[/CENTER][/SIZE] [SIZE="4"](The reign of machines is the death of heart.The instruments crush the feelings of courtesy and kindness.)[/SIZE] [SIZE="5"][CENTER]Please comment [/CENTER][/SIZE][/QUOTE] Farrah, How can i post my outline after his mind blowing approach to essay........ i just want to tell u that i do not know if u will pass or not but i know one thing that this is one of the finest pieces of writing i hav ever come across. the characters of my essay (Iqbal, ghazali, Plato, baba bulleh shah etc) will prove out to be infirm against ur essay :-) bravo girl! great writing!! :bow |
[QUOTE=Farrah Zafar;408086][SIZE="5"]The most interesting thing is that I started my essay with my own poem:) I wish I could mention my name :([/SIZE]
[B][CENTER][SIZE="4"][U]The Suffering soul in the scientific age[/U][/SIZE][/CENTER][/B] [CENTER][B][U]Introduction[/U][/B] In pieces my soul has torn, But I have no time to mourn, Time is passing and passing on, Life's vehicle is buzzing its horn, Polluted soul and body deserve not, To face the one who lives in heart, Hatred,malice,envy and lies, on my soul like buboes rise, Would that I were a baby on my death, With a pure heart and sacred breath! [B][U]by Farrah Zafar[/U][/B][/CENTER] [LIST][*]Materialism is the death of spirituality[/LIST][LIST][*]Man's material progress versus moral decline[/LIST] "Man has looked into the volcanoes,dived into the ocean,perforated the earth,winged its flight in the skies.This material progress has led him to ditch of moral deprivation.etc [LIST][*]What is soul and its importance[/LIST][LIST][*]soul is immortal,body is mortal[/LIST][LIST][*]Truth beautifies soul[/LIST], Keats says,[B]"Beauty is truth,truth beauty,that is all ye know on earth and all ye need to know[/B] [LIST][*]description of soul In literary works[/LIST] [B]Faustus[/B] cries out for his soul,fears eternal damnation [B]John Proctor[/B] in "The Crucible" says,[B] I have given you my name,leave me my soul.[/B] [CENTER][B][U][SIZE="3"]Effects of soul's suffering[/SIZE][/U][/B] [/CENTER] [B]On individual level[/B] [LIST][*]Frustration,depression,despondency[/LIST][LIST][*]examples of two men belonging to this scientific age[/LIST] [U]One who seduced female dead bodies[/U] [U]One who raped small children[/U] [B]On Family Level[/B] [LIST][*]weak bond of affection[/LIST][LIST][*]example of [U]western countries[/U][/LIST] [U]old homes,Orphanages (having children who don't know the names of their fathers)[/U] [LIST][*]Youngsters have no sense of direction,they are confused because of weak[/LIST]family institutions [B]On National and International level[/B] [LIST][*]souls have become impure[/LIST][LIST][*]no sympathy for mankind[/LIST] [U]example ,nuclear bombing on Nagasaki [/U] [LIST][*]Material progress has made man hollow inwardly.[/LIST] [B]Seamus Heaney[/B] has depicted well the hollowness of modern man in his poem,[U]"The Hollow Men"[/U] [CENTER][U]Poem by Prabhakar bargurde[/U] [B]Comrade[/B] Don't be in hurry for revolution you are still very small. Your ability to resist atrocities,boycotts and rapes, that go on every moment has become nil, Comrade ! Tomorrow's dawn is yet to rise, sleep undisturbed until then... [SIZE="3"][U][B]Reasons[/B][/U][/SIZE][/CENTER] [B]1)Materialim[/B] [LIST][*]it has deprived man of joy,love,affection and harmony.[/LIST] [LIST][*]he runs after material progress,therefore neglects his soul[/LIST] [B]2)Lust for power[/B] [LIST][*]man wants to attain power by hook or crook,he ignores his soul[/LIST] [B]"Power corrupts man and absolute power corrupts absoulutely" [/B] [U]example of character of [B]Kurtz[/B] by Joseph Conrad.[/U] He cries out,fearing damnation of his soul, [B]"The horror ! The horror"[/B] [B]3)astrayed from religion[/B] [LIST][*]all religions support love and kindness for humanity.People of this scientific[/LIST]age are astrayed from the way of religion,that is why,their souls are suffering. [LIST][*]The sufi poets emphasized on purgation of soul but their messages have been[/LIST]ignored. [LIST][*]A sufi poet said,[/LIST] [B]"Kadi Mann apnay wich tu warrya he nae"[/B] [U]You never introspected your heart. [/U] [LIST][*]Generally all prophets and specifically Holy prophet (PBUH) laid emphasis on[/LIST]love for mankind. [B]"If one kills a man with no reason,one kills the whole humanity" [/B] [CENTER][U][B][SIZE="3"]Solution[/SIZE][/B][/U][/CENTER] [LIST][*]Method of Introspection should be adopted to purify soul[/LIST][LIST][*]Spirituality should be focused rather materialism[/LIST][LIST][*]Love and peace should be spread.[/LIST][LIST][*]Teachings of religions generally and Islam specifically should be followed[/LIST][LIST][*]The only food for soul is self control and prayers[/LIST] [SIZE="4"][CENTER] ہے دل کے لیے موت مشینوں کی حکومت احساس مروت کو کچل دیتے ہیں آلات[/CENTER][/SIZE] [SIZE="4"](The reign of machines is the death of heart.The instruments crush the feelings of courtesy and kindness.)[/SIZE] [SIZE="5"][CENTER]Please comment [/CENTER][/SIZE][/QUOTE] since It is strictly prohibited to mention one's name in any paper, I fear that you can get zero in essay paper . However, your essay outline is superb.I wish examiner may overlook your blunder so that you can get good score. Otherwise, he can mark you zero according to rules.... |
[QUOTE=Adeel Ahmed;413352]since It is strictly prohibited to mention one's name in any paper, I fear that you can get zero in essay paper . However, your essay outline is superb.I wish examiner may overlook your blunder so that you can get good score. Otherwise, he can mark you zero according to rules....[/QUOTE]
[B]She hadn't mentioned her name. She wished but didn't mention. Regards,[/B] |
[QUOTE=Mortal Sin;413343]Farrah, How can i post my outline after his mind blowing approach to essay........ i just want to tell u that i do not know if u will pass or not but i know one thing that this is one of the finest pieces of writing i hav ever come across. the characters of my essay (Iqbal, ghazali, Plato, baba bulleh shah etc) will prove out to be infirm against ur essay :-) bravo girl! great writing!! :bow[/QUOTE]
Thank you :bow :) But hey you should say,"You are going to pass Insha Allah" ab ye tou na kahen na k I don't know:sick You allocated me DMG last year,don't forget :laugh: [QUOTE=Adeel Ahmed;413352]since It is strictly prohibited to mention one's name in any paper, I fear that you can get zero in essay paper . However, your essay outline is superb.I wish examiner may overlook your blunder so that you can get good score. Otherwise, he can mark you zero according to rules....[/QUOTE] Uff sara zor zero marks pe hai :ninja: shubh shubh bolye :closedeye 1)I didn't mention my name there. 2)If I mentioned,I would write "Poetess :Farrah Zafar". Ofcourse I would not write, "Hey Examiner ! You know what,?this poem is written by me :laugh: Pray for me please.And good luck :vic [QUOTE=zuhaib ahmed;413382][B]She hadn't mentioned her name. She wished but didn't mention. Regards,[/B][/QUOTE] Yup :) |
Mortal S ! Please post your outline.It seems you have attempted the same essay.
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