I know how you feel

[Nonchalant]

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man's, he said, "I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride in the stroller too."


The guard in Air Force basic training must check the ID of everyone who comes to the door. A trainee was standing guard when he heard a pounding on the door and the order "Let me in!" Through the window he saw the uniform of a lieutenant colonel and immediately opened up. He quickly realized his mistake.

"Airman! Why didn't you check for my authority to enter?"

Thinking fast, the airman replied, "Sir, you'd have gotten in anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"Uh...the hinges on the door...they're broken, sir."

"What? Show me!"

With a twinkle in his eye, the airman opened the door, let the officer step out and slammed the door shut.

"Airman! Open up immediately!"

"Sir, may I see your authority to enter?"

The airman was rewarded for outsmarting his commanding officer.

During Operation Desert Storm, I was a legislative affairs officer for Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf. Often I was required to transport gifts, sent to him from patriotic Americans, from Washington, D.C., to his home base in Florida. On one trip I "escorted" a four-foot teddy bear dressed in fatigues with a name tag reading "Bear," General Schwarzkopf's nickname. As I boarded the plane, I explained my mission to the flight attendant and asked if she could store the bear in first class. She was honored to do so, and I disappeared into the coach section.

Then, just before takeoff, an announcement came over the intercom: "Colonel Preast, would you please come up to first class? We have an extra seat here for you to sit next to your teddy bear."

-- David R. Preast