Murphy's Law

[Faryal Shah]

Murphy was an optimist

*No good deed goes unpunished.
*Leak proof seals - will.
*Self starters - will not.
*Interchangable parts - won't
*There is always one more bug.
*Nature is a mother.
*Don't mess with Mrs. Murphy
*90% of everything is crud.
*If you're feeling good, don't worry, you'll get over it.
*All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.
*Where you stand on an issue depends on where you sit.
*Never eat prunes when you are famished.
*Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
*If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it.
*A short cut is always the longest distance between 2 points.
*Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
*You will always find something in the last place you look.
*The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
*No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
*No one's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
*The other line always moves faster.
*In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
*Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.
*If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.
*A $300.00 picture tube will protect a 10 cent fuse by blowing first.
*If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
*Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact center.
*The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before.
*When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.
*A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.
*Everybody should believe in something. I believe i'll have another drink.
*Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
*Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
*In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.
*You will remember that you forgot to take out the trash when the garbage truck is two doors away.
*The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.
*There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
*When in doubt, mumble, when in trouble, delegate.
*Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
*It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
*A bird in hand is safer than one overhead.
*Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.
*Everything east of the San Andreas fault will eventually plunge into the Atlantic Ocean.
*Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
*The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncomming train.
*Celibacy is not hereditary.
*Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
*Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes to the bone.
*To know yourself is the ultimate form of aggression, Freudian Psychology.
*Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
*A smith & wesson beats four aces.
*If everything seems to be going well, you obviously don't know what the hell is going on.
*If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation, no one will be at fault.
*In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
*Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.



regards

faryal shah