Quote:
Originally Posted by Sameid
1) Introduction
2) Delineating the concept of minority
3) Why are minority groups deemed ill-fated?
-Assimilation in the dominant culture
-lots of cultural aspects
-struggle for rights
-Correlation between minority groups, secessionist movements and insurgencies
4) Delineating the concept of nationalism
5) The case where nationalism can be really inclusive
- nationalism delinked with ethnic and linguistic criterion
- Supremacy of the law
-Nationalism is an ideological construct
-Example U.S.A
6) The case where nationalism is strictly an exclusive affair
- Nationalism evinces a distinct ethnicity only
- Absence of rule of law (non-state entities are real power brokers)
-Vicious rivalries exist.
-Oppressive regimes
-Example India
7) VERDICT: nationalism can be inclusive if based on lofty ideals
8) Recommendations for the global community to rectify the oppression faced by minorities
- strengthening democratic norms
-Clearing disambiguties between genocide and ethnic cleansing
-National integration
9) Conclusion
Feedback?
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1.) Well, I see you don't have a thesis statement. It is important to include one, and should be short, simple, and contain the essence of the overall argument you make in the essay. You have given a verdict, this is basically your thesis statement, but it should be given in the beginning as well. In your very first paragraph in fact.
2.) Your last point about recommendations is not really required. The essay wants us to prove one way or the other whether nationalism has been inclusive. It does not ask us how to build a "better" nationalism.
3.) Other than that I would say your essay is broadly on the right track.
An aspect of essay writing that is perhaps ignored in favor of the more technical side of writing is content. Having content is essential to being able to write a relevant essay. The best way to do that is read. The works of intellectuals such as Noam Chomsky, Eqbal Ahmad, Arundhati Roy, Howard Zinn, and Edward Said would be a good starting point. You can find lots of their articles/speeches online.
Finally, please take my advice with a grain of salt. I could have just as easily written an essay that was not to the examiners liking. A certain degree of luck does come in to play. Hope this helps
