Quote:
Originally Posted by The dream of rain
Too many of us are not living their dreams because we are living our fears.
1. Introduction
2. Forms of fear:
a. Fear of failure
b. Fear of people's opinion
c. Fear of loosing opportunity
d. Fear of loosing closed ones
e. Fear of taking risk
f. Fear of being unable to achieve
g. Fear of having no abilities
h. Fear of having no talent
3. How these fears make oneself incapable of achieving dreams:
a. Stops a person from taking step toward dream
b. Halts one's progress toward dream
c. Person begins to question one's abilities, in result, remain away from achieving dream
d. Produces lack of confidence, thus, driving away from dream
e. Person loses motivation, therefore, could not go further toward dream
f. Sows a negative attitude in personality which hinders one's way toward dream
g. Creates inferiority complex, thus, could not overcome obstacles
h. Feeling of being mocked by others, therefore, person quits
4. Conclusion
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Very well handled but I'll point out a few things. 2 d. Should be fear of losing
close/dear ones or you could term it as
fear of being ostracised. You can combine 2 g. and h. to instead be
fear of seeming incompetent. I would like to add a few other fears such as a
fear of looking like a fool/being laughed at/made fun of, fear of conflict/confrontation, fear of rejection, fear of bearing financial losses(this one is similar to losing opportunity but opportunities are in the future, financial losses are borne today. It can be further explained as a fear of not having enough money to pay for food/rent etc.) Similar to the fear of taking risks there is also
the fear of the unknown.
Instead of oneself simply use
one in the title of 3. Also wherever there is dream add the s since it is
dreams in the main title and we should stick as close to the original wordings as possible to reinforce the idea.
I would also like to propose some other portions to the essay such as
inspiring examples of Individuals who overcame their fears and are living their dreams (here include examples such as famous writers like Stephan King whose first story was rejected 30 times, or athletes, stars, politicians, tech moguls anyone whose story isnpires you personally. People overcome unbelievable odds to stand where they are today and we shouldn't only see their achievements but also acknowledge the fears and obstacles they overcame-the chances they took.)
Also a philosophical tinge could be given to the essay as well if you want by including a small portion on
WHY is it important that we learn to overcome our fears and live our dreams. Add points to this such as the
wasted potential, personal satisfaction/living to the fullest, if we don't follow our dreams or stand for a cause are we really alive? (Everybody dies but not everybody lives- Prince Ea I highly recommend his video. You can find it on youtube. Its short 5 minutes but very inspiring.)
Overall I think you've done a great job and covered the basic points very well. I hope you find my input helpful.