Hello! Below I've added comments to more of the paragraphs following the same key as before. Last two paragraphs left. I shall try to get them done later today. Anyway hope the comments and suggestions are helpful!


At the state level, traditional security was given precedence over the non-traditional aspects of security. (The link between the previous paragraph and this one isn't clear. Create links so that your writing is an unbroken chain which can easily be followed along by the reader. See again my comments on logical sequencing. Other than that the opening sentence is fine as a standalone and opener to this current thread ) Every state ("country" would fit better than state. State is fine but it's a little confusing and you don't want to reader to stop and think. You want to seamlessly guide them along with the narrative) of ("on" would be better) the planet earth (better to remove earth. Just planet is fine) focused on allocating significant resources on ( "to" would fit here better) their defence and military muscle ("might" is the more commonly used word. Muscle is fine too but it sounds a tad bit off.) with increase in every ("...muscle with every subsequent budget" makes more sense as it's easier to follow) subsequent budget. All-important health sector was accorded insignificant priority. Situation is deplorable especially in the developing countries. ( create links. The sentence would link better to the previous point if you worded it like "the situation is even more deplorable when it comes to developing countries..." I'd recommend adding a point that that's technically not the developing countries' fault. We have very little budget to work with as is and even then development is given a back seat out of necessity rather than a choice. It's easy to say that more should be allocated here or there but if one looks at things as a whole we can't spare it yet. The situation is more sketchy when it comes to the developed world. They have so many resources or connections to get those resources that if they'd dump half of it into the ocean they'd still be better of than we are now. In fact George Orwell predicted just that when talking about wars in his book 1984- I'll try to add the quote here afterwards. It's best to show the reader that the writer is well aware of the whole picture and is not only looked at fragmented bits just to prove his or her own opinion )
Pakistan allocates less than one percent of its GDP on health. However, in the post-Covid19 world, states will be enhancing their budgetary allocations on healthcare services ( bold claim. We don't know this as a fact. In fact I'm going to hedge a bet and say nothing much is going to change except that this is going to be a blow to globalisation. Countries will try to become more self contained after this so that if there is a repeat they won't have to suffer or can lockdown more efficiently. We rarely try and prevent things. It's more about money. The capitalists in the developed world are going to love this idea since they've been losing out on money to China. Now they will push their own agenda under pretences of national security ). It is hoped that Pakistan would realise this blunder and dedicate at least 2 % of GDP on heath in the future budgets with significant increases in each subsequent fiscal year. ( again easier said than done. Where would the money come from? After all this is over we are going to be in deep deep debts. I just hope that the investment frenzy that starts after the whole thing is over doesn't see another market crash. )

From crimes perspective, during the lockdown crime rate has decreased to zero ( source of this claim? I don't think we have any data to back this yet. In fact if anything crimes like domestic abuse have seen a steep increase. They are just as horrendous if not worse than thievery.) It is not because of lockdown and restricted movement but due to the fear of being infected from coronavirus as the socially deviants are equally aware of the fact that it is quite possible that the potential victim may have symptomatic or asymptomatic virus. ( the sentence after this one doesn't link to the previous one. Needs better logical sequencing.)Afterall, everyone loves living in this world as it is rightly said ‘even if somebody assures us of going to paradise, but we will not be willing to die’. Here readers are requested not to compare or connect the suicide bombers to this phenomenon as there are always certain exceptions in every situation. ( if there are such exceptions to that claim why make that claim in the first place? What value does it add to the narrative?)

On the contrary, once the situation normalises, crime rate will be in stark contrast to lockdown period. We will witness a steep rise in crimes for a sustained period in future for many reasons. One, those whose savings will be dried up during the lockdown period will be looking for shortcuts and thus they will resort to the criminal route of making money. Two, those who are criminals and are currently in a state of dormancy will activate continuing their bad habits. Obviously, old bad habits die hard. Three, by virtue of economic slowdown, private enterprises will lay-off their employees resulting in massive joblessness ( unemployment is a better word). Patience is the rarest commodity these days and it will be least possible ( remove possible. Simply "least available" or "least in supply" would fit better.) available amongst the jobless individuals who have to cater to their families. Therefore, jobless and hard-pressed persons will also resort to the criminal means to make money. Fourth, as the company so the colour, ( I think this point could be worded better and also you need to back up all these claims with some arguments. Look to history or literature for help there. Your points are valid as long as you can back them up and I don't mean adding tons of statistical data just instances and events in history that have shown similar outcomes would give this paragraph a little more weight and substance) some will be motivated by their friends to do so. Alas, post-Covid19 time will witness massive spike in crime as well as violence.

I'm an avid reader and have read extensively since I was very young. I even maintain a Goodreads account and a public bookstagram profile which is basically an Instagram account dedicated to books. I feel reading is extremely helpful because even if I have never academically studied literature and can't tell you what "technically" is off about a particular sentence, I can still recognise that it is reading weirdly and work out the why from there. It's also extremely useful for knowing what works connotatively in a sentence because you might have noticed lots of words fit in and are grammatically correct but they aren't commonly used like that. You can't actually learn this. There are a handful of ways you can go about trying to develop this understanding. One of which is living or interacting with the natives of the language and picking up where they use what. Another way is to read a lot which leads to unconsciously developing an imprint of having read the particular word being used in a particular sentence. Similarly meanings of words become easier if you read enough since you have read them in their natural place and can work out what they mean in context which is a better way than trying to memorize dictionaries.