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Originally Posted by Aishalam
I didn't even get to the shortlist stage which was a bummer but I had fun writing this all the same. They returned my essay with a score of 40/100 and their primary concern being that my Thesis Statement is not a statement. Fair point but most thesis statements are not statements. And a concern was raised that my essay was "too literary and philosophical" but I think that's the point. I'd rather stick with my writing style than conform to a tone dictated as the only "right" academic way of writing. If they had pointed out a structural error I would be glad to take it on board but c'est la vie.
As to your comments, I greatly appreciate them and fully see the point you are trying to make. I included the portion on Literature not being sustenance to acknowledge the counter-argument often made against this philosophical topic- that literature though essential isn't the most important thing. I wanted to acknowledge that basic necessities come first BUT you would exist without having really lived if you disregard the impact of Literature. That's why I used words like "thrive" and making our life here "worthwhile" in the second half of the TS. I agree that putting the basic necessities first puts an undue spotlight on them so the TS needs restructuring. I'm grateful for your comment and I'll definitely post my thoughts on your outline and introduction soon.
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True! Its been a norm now that some academies try to regulate "one size fit for all" method. But, one must always try to keep up with their own style considering not violating basic tenets.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Innocent Hafeez
Dear dream, May be I am wrong, but you can check today’s dawn editorial, and how 'while' is used. What i understand is that while is used along with compound sentences separated by comma. Here are two sentences from today’s editorial about Floyd’s murder:
1.Narendra Modi and his Hindutva acolytes are a case in point, while even in our own country regressive forces lurk in the shadows, sabotaging efforts to create a more egalitarian society.
2. Donald Trump’s journey to power has been propelled partly by white nationalists, while in Europe, the ideological children of fascism today sit in parliaments in Germany, Austria and Hungary.
Well, for besides let me make myself clear.
Plus: i agree to your other views.
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Hafeez, you may already know "while" carries two meanings, "at the same time" and other like "whereas"(when contradicts). When it is used in the latter sense it takes "comma" before it. The above two sentences mentioned by you represent second use of While. You can pretty much see the idea clear in above sentences.
But, when it is used in former sense it does not need comma. And in my case it has been used as in first case. So ii assumed one can used "full stop" to avoid longer sentences.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Innocent Hafeez
Request to Dream and aishalam: i need your suggestions about gender studies, as you both have opted it. I know it is irrelevant to post here, but my query will go unnoticed if i post somewhere else.
Though the syllabus of gender studies is short, but as per the past papers, the subject seems complex to me. How you find it? I rarely follow scoring trend, but interest. I opted it, read a few books, but failed to generate interest in GS. Should i go for it or not? Your kind suggestions are awaited. Thanks.
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And for GS, if you have interest in it you can go for it. Or if you want you can shuffle the subject. But, to me GS is good one and also short. Though its terms and concepts require deep understanding to get oneself clear about the subject and also it might causes agony or take longer than expected, as some of candid complain about hard time finding relevant material.
On the lighter note, interest does matter but if you're willing you can maintain the "interest" side. Think if you really want to go for it. If you would ask me i think you can make it out with GS. Just understand basics of the subject and rest will be easy. You got to make a decision and stand with it no matter what.