I am not very good in essay yet, But according to me these things should be corrected, And do not let you down. Indeed, it is a nice effort. At least better than me.
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The whole world is bearing the witness of the west hegemony in all spheres of world, and so is the case with the media. The strings of international media are in the hands of west, and west is promulgating whatever there agenda is to make there influence credible and reliable. Basically there are two types of media,
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1) Do not criticize anyone in opening paragraph. It is should be persuasive and general rather pointing west or east.
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America and Israel, through the power of media, are trying to influence Iran. They have allied many a countries with them to oppose Iranian acts in form of UN and EU.
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2) I am not agree to this point, how America and Israel influence Iran. Yes influential techniques takes place and used as a tool in war, but in the case of Iran, Iran is defending and given his every and possible feedback to the world even through media. So discuss both situations.
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Even Pakistani children are singing Indian religious songs, like Banday Mataram.
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3) Again, you are discussing the half truth, Yes children are inspire of indian cultural, society etc but don't forget children also hates india just because of media. Cricket match between India and Pakistan is an example to analysis the attitude of children.
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The present Government, “though claims as the democratic government”, had also done the same with many different channels like GEO TV.
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4) Wrong ! No such thing has happened yet, Dr.Shahid Masood is not Geo, but part of geo. I never read that any ban imposes on any TV channel except few individuals.
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The World Rising Powers like China and India are exploiting the use of media to the full extent.
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5) But How? Half-Complete sentence.
Overall, Brother you did the same mistakes which are mentioned in the FPSC website that usually students do in essay paper such as, ANTI-AMERICAN, ANTI-ISRAEL, HALF-SENTENCES, NO FACTS AND FIGURES etc.
And do not forget to maintain balance, You essay looks like a written by pro-pakistani, Do not forget it is also our media which is topping others for action of their slanders attitude, piracy and plagiarism, So we cannot only blame US and West media.
It is a nice essay, I can see you have germs of passing essay paper, Your english is good just maintain the concept in balance.
Regards,
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My Outline Would Be:
Power of Media in the Modern World
Introduction
Dawn on Media
Types of Media
1) Space
2) Time
3) Space and Time
Purpose of Media
Role of Media
Scope of Media
Importance of Media
Comparison of Media
1) Western Media
2) Eastern Media
Advantages
1) Quick Information
2) Squeezing Global Village
3) Broad Reach
4) Reveals Truth
5) Increase Competitions
6) Employment Increases
7) Threat to Black Sheep
Disadvantages
1) Piracy Emerges
2) Support to plagiarism
3) Tool for Defamation and Slander
4) Threat to personal values
5) Weapon of War to discourage
Conclusion