Originally Posted by rishzzz

Extremism in Pakistan

• Extremism and present gloomy scenario of bloodshed
• Uncontrolled violence and implications on the society
• Historical fault lines contributing to this ‘madness’
• Wrong interpretation of Islamic teachings
• Adverse consequences of growing ‘menace’
• Weak political leadership and foreign intervention
• Pragmatic solutions to answer the complex theories
• Need of the hour………. Conclusion

your outline is good, I think if you add some sub-headings under your main head, it will make a good strutured outline.[/

Extremism, “The actions or ideologies of individuals or groups to intensify the situation for gaining some political, religious, social and ethnic advantage or superiority to make others agree on some distinct objective by violating common moral standards” .The fundamental contributions it has made to the country which is already deprived of indispensable stabilities, made the institutions weaker. Uncontrolled violence has had harsh impact on the society ultimately resulting in the form of talibanization, army operations and human rights violations. This gives an opportunity to media to steal the country’s show by sensationalizing events of nature alike. Historical fault lines which have contributed in this madness were several ranging from corruption, poverty and illiteracy to misguidance of Islamic teachings. The adverse consequences of the growing menace has not only portrayed worst image of Pakistan internationally but also invited foreign intervention as threat to nuclear program. The human and financial capital loss, deterioration of democratic system, terrorism and weaker central government are also few images it has developed. These complex theories can be answered to provide much awaited pragmatic solutions by strong parliament, provincial autonomy, economic developments and positive media debate. The need of the hour is to realize the individual as well as collective responsibility and work to harmonize this destructive which will throw Pakistan out of the Glob ultimately.

Excellent Introduction, but while defining extremism you have used inverted commas "..." which means these are not your own words, if so you have to mention from where you have borrowed this definition.
Pakistan is suffering from fierce crisis which has developed as extremism to be true. The current scenario which shows frequent army operations like Swat, Malakand and Waziristan has distorted the lives of citizens. This so called talibanization has been so dangerous foe Pakistan that it challenges our sovereignty and nationhood. The violations of human rights have definitely shown the real faces of dangerous people living in the shelter of innocent Pakistanis. The migrations of large scale added fuel to the crisis by rousing message of another crisis. Media is the auditor of the country’s internal and external moves but it has sensationalized every happening so far, which do not provide any solution to extremism but invite more problems.

just think, whether your paragraph is coherent and it deals only a single idea or more ideas.
also you directly came to the relgious and talibanization, do you think these are the only examples of extremism??
There is no one who can guarantee that the generations which are near to raise their voices, will not be alike. If most of the literate and mature people know the reality, the rest will be affected by the misinterpretations created out of extremist coups. These can be in the form of sympathy, help, followers or support in any form. The looming adversity will not solve any matter unless properly addressed. Because this practice if remained isolated, will urge more capacity to drown the already affected institutions of Pakistan.

[B]this pragraph can further be ellaborated, as you are mentioning the elements which support the extremism, its effects and a hope for future. (three ideas together)[/B]
Historical fault lines have been contributing to this madness. There have been many factors that became causes to extremism since independence. But they grew into worst shape in recent years due to factors like military takeovers and one man policies. Pakistan has suffered many long military spells which have participated in the movement that leads Pakistan from developing nation to underdeveloped nation. With the burden of heavy deficits and debts, wrong policies, mismanagement and vacuum of political leadership, the result are poverty, corruption, illiteracy and disable governments. However, illiteracy will not let people understand the reality of present scenario but it will commiserate the extremist wars.

factors responsible for extremism may well be explained each in separate paragraphs with considerable details and examples.

In the era of cold war, USA used Jihadi organizations against Soviet Union for its political objectives to turn it into Russia. This selfish reality which USA observed at that time, has made Pakistan pay heaviest price in the form of many destroyed colonies, hospitals, schools, cities and even lives. Because Pakistan is a frontline state in the wage of ‘War on terror’. The organizations such as Taliban, Alqaeda and many others ultimately appeared to be known as terrorist organizations. The west hegemony against Muslim world started just after it had achieved its political objectives at the end of cold war. Now it has a long debate and school of thought that who the real terrorists and extremists are.

it would have been better if you mentioned here the history of Taliban creation during the Cold War, that has backfired consquently, I think you wanted to say the same

Is USA fighting against extremists or producing them?

The interpretation of Ulemas has disturbed the harmony in which Islam was being taught, observed, preached and learnt. Madrassahs have been blamed as they produced Jihadi organizations which are real terrorists. This difference in the way of teachings and following Islam has roused the ravaged situation as blood coup. Muslims have divided themselves in sectarian groups Pakistan and they have developed organizations fighting against each other. Shia-Sunni tussle is the biggest example which took thousands of lives, only weakening the internal strength of Pakistan without any privileges. It has nothing to do with the foreign involvement but internal racial obsessions are no more than great enemies of society

good point but you have to mention the ideological clash existed within our country. ''Liberals and extremist'' or ''Muslim secular state vs Islamic state''

I think you have mixedup terrorism with extremism and also political instablity.

I Liked your english expression.
if you put some extra labour on the struture of your essay, and paragraphs sequencing, I hope you will win the race.
with wishes

words = 2000
my first attempt
i would be highly obliged if you will point out some mistakes
m waiting!!
Regards