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Old Friday, February 05, 2010
irshadsod irshadsod is offline
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Excellent attempt and excellent approach for balancing the essay. Nice strategy.

Some value adding points:

1) There are some grammatical mistakes in the concluding paragraph. These might be type mistakes. If these are not typo mistakes then please be careful about these.
2) You have not written further break up of "Introduction" neither did you provide us the introductory paragraph. I am afraid you have properly defined and then discussed "War on terrorism". Outline covers "Terrorism" to a great length on the cost of "War on terrorism". Do focus on "War on terrorism", discussing only terrorism may divert you from the actual topic.

Some corrections:



Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabah Hunzai View Post
War on Terror
Conclusion (206)
Almost every corner of the world has been affected by terrorism. Voices have been raised and actions have been put to counter this menace. But the reality, indeed hard to digest, is its root causes, associated with big powers. It is neither self driven nor existential in its nature. It is man made and associated with issues. One can not expect for its disappearance without resolving the issues confronted by many suppressed and aggravated countries and communites. To have peace in the world, it is imperative to have a pragmatic approach for resolving issues. Issues arise out of the exploitation of power, be it (these) in the field of politics, economics, culture or religion. Issues can not be soloved with further exploitation of power by using force (by using force is not needed). It can be resolve (resolved) through dialogue. For having dialogue numerious organizations have been created on both regional and international level, but without hands and brains of their own. Strengthening international organizations and neutrality of all countries in the dialogue process is (are) sine-qua-non. But (avoid starting sentence with "But, because"), the question of enormous importance is, will the supper powers shed their vested interest embeddied in the global issues? If yes, then our globe will, indeed, be a worth living place again, without the element of terror.

viewers please check for both structure and grammerregards
Sabbah

Last edited by Andrew Dufresne; Friday, February 05, 2010 at 09:08 PM. Reason: Merged
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