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| Essay English articulation is tested through the Essay paper.Material and queries can be Posted in this zone |

Friday, February 05, 2010
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please give critical feedback.
War on Terror
1. Introduction (words 100)
2. On Defining Terrorism (200)
3. Roots of Terrorism(100)
• Political roots of Terrorism(200)
• Economic roots of terrorism(200)
• Cultural roots of terrorism(150)
• Religious roots of terrorism(200)
4. Contemporary Apprach to Counter Terrorism(300)
5. Downsides of the Approach(300)
6. A Wayout for Countering Terrorism (100)
• Resolution of political issues(300)
• Promotion of cultural and religious pluralism(200)
• Equality of nations through economic reform policies(200)
• Empowerment of International organizations(200)
Conclusion (206)
Almost every corner of the world has been affected by terrorism. Voices have been raised and actions have been put to counter this menace. But the reality, indeed hard to digest, is its root causes, associated with big powers. It is neither self driven nor existential in its nature. It is man made and associated with issues. One can not expect for its disappearance without resolving the issues confronted by many suppressed and aggravated countries and communites. To have peace in the world, it is imperative to have a pragmatic approach for resolving issues. Issues arise out of the exploitation of power, be it in the field of politics, economics, culture or religion. Issues can not be soloved with further exploitation of power by using force. It can be resolve through dialogue. For having dialogue numerious organizations have been created on both regional and international level, but without hands and brains of their own. Strengthening international organizations and neutrality of all countries in the dialogue process is sine-qua-non. But, the question of enormous importance is, will the supper powers shed their vested interest embeddied in the global issues? If yes, then our globe will, indeed, be a worth living place again, without the element of terror.
viewers please check for both structure and grammerregards
Sabbah
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Friday, February 05, 2010
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Excellent attempt and excellent approach for balancing the essay. Nice strategy.
Some value adding points:
1) There are some grammatical mistakes in the concluding paragraph. These might be type mistakes. If these are not typo mistakes then please be careful about these.
2) You have not written further break up of "Introduction" neither did you provide us the introductory paragraph. I am afraid you have properly defined and then discussed "War on terrorism". Outline covers "Terrorism" to a great length on the cost of "War on terrorism". Do focus on "War on terrorism", discussing only terrorism may divert you from the actual topic.
Some corrections:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabah Hunzai
War on Terror
Conclusion (206)
Almost every corner of the world has been affected by terrorism. Voices have been raised and actions have been put to counter this menace. But the reality, indeed hard to digest, is its root causes, associated with big powers. It is neither self driven nor existential in its nature. It is man made and associated with issues. One can not expect for its disappearance without resolving the issues confronted by many suppressed and aggravated countries and communites. To have peace in the world, it is imperative to have a pragmatic approach for resolving issues. Issues arise out of the exploitation of power, be it (these) in the field of politics, economics, culture or religion. Issues can not be soloved with further exploitation of power by using force (by using force is not needed). It can be resolve (resolved) through dialogue. For having dialogue numerious organizations have been created on both regional and international level, but without hands and brains of their own. Strengthening international organizations and neutrality of all countries in the dialogue process is (are) sine-qua-non. But (avoid starting sentence with "But, because"), the question of enormous importance is, will the supper powers shed their vested interest embeddied in the global issues? If yes, then our globe will, indeed, be a worth living place again, without the element of terror.
viewers please check for both structure and grammerregards
Sabbah
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Last edited by Andrew Dufresne; Friday, February 05, 2010 at 10:08 PM.
Reason: Merged
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Friday, February 05, 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irshadsod
Excellent attempt and excellent approach for balancing the essay. Nice strategy.
Some value adding points:
2) You have not written further break up of "Introduction" neither did you provide us the introductory paragraph. I am afraid you have properly defined and then discussed "War on terrorism". Outline covers "Terrorism" to a great length on the cost of "War on terrorism". Do focus on "War on terrorism", discussing only terrorism may divert you from the actual topic.
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thank you so much for you kind comments.
well, i have dealt first with defining terrorism then countering efforts. from the heading "comtemporary approach to counter terrorism' onward I dealt with war on terror, its failure and prospects. thanks once again for your feedback especially pointing out my grammer mistake.
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Friday, February 05, 2010
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@Sabah Hunzai
aoa dear i have some mixed comments,so pls dnt be offended.ur aproach is good but not thorough.there is a lot that can be add to the outlinee.e.g Pakistan's perspective,its global effects,its effects on pakistan...then do elaborate the current approach.
as to the grammatical mistakes,i did find some but since im not an expert,won't comment on them.some expert should better help u in that.
lastly about ur coclusion,the most striking thing in ur conclusion is the part where you put queston.you can further beautify ur conclusion by raising more such questions.
Good luck
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Friday, February 05, 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KAWISH
@Sabah Hunzai
aoa dear i have some mixed comments,so pls dnt be offended.ur aproach is good but not thorough.there is a lot that can be add to the outlinee.e.g Pakistan's perspective,its global effects,its effects on pakistan...then do elaborate the current approach.
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thanks for your comments, to answer your above reservation, please note, the essay is about "war on terrorism" it neither says about pakistan nor its ffects on pakistan. however, while giving examples of political, economic, culural and religious roots of terrorism, i will try to jot down the relevant cases not only from Pakistan but from around the world. e.g. palestine, kashmir, tammil tigers, clash of civilization theory, end of times theory, capitalism vs communism so and so forth.
would love to have your comments on gramo mistakes.
regards
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Friday, February 05, 2010
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Sabah you have got good approach. You are right, essay should not be limited to Pakistan only as it is not restricted in its title. It should have taste of all the relevant cases from the globe.
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Friday, February 05, 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabah Hunzai
thanks for your comments, to answer your above reservation, please note, the essay is about "war on terrorism" it neither says about pakistan nor its ffects on pakistan. however, while giving examples of political, economic, culural and religious roots of terrorism, i will try to jot down the relevant cases not only from Pakistan but from around the world. e.g. palestine, kashmir, tammil tigers, clash of civilization theory, end of times theory, capitalism vs communism so and so forth.
would love to have your comments on gramo mistakes.
regards
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its ok everyone has got his personal approach,but i didn t said to make your outline all about Pakistan.but highlighting Pakistan's concerns could have been one f the way of attempting this topic as Pakistan's case cant be cosidered as something secondary to the terrorism issue coz at the moment she is bearing the heaviest claims not only of being a victim but a cause as well.anyways do the thing in ur own way that is more adviseable.Regards
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Saturday, February 06, 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KAWISH
as Pakistan's case cant be cosidered as something secondary to the terrorism issue coz at the moment she is bearing the heaviest claims not only of being a victim but a cause as well.anyways do the thing in ur own way that is more adviseable.Regards
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agree, please don't be offend from my words.
you have given me an important point, now I will safely add Pakistan among the roots of ....
hehehe
I had just gone though your precis but am not feeling good today, will try to comment on it latter.
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Saturday, February 06, 2010
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@sabah hunzai
thnk u  i ll wait for ur comments.
may u get well soon  Regards
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Sunday, February 07, 2010
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Assalam o Allaikoum wrwb,,,,
here is mine of Energy Crises in and its Solution
- Outline
- Introduction
- Reasons Behind the Energy Crises
(a)Poor Management
(b)Lopsided Priorities
(c)Lack of Accountability
(d)Careless usage of Energy
- Impacts of Energy Crises
(a)Economical Impact
(b)Social Impact
(c)Psychological Impact
- State of Energy Resources
- Alternate Energy Resources
(i)Nuclear Energy
(ii)Natural Gas Exploration
(iii)Natural Gas Import
(iv)LNG
(v)Solar Energy
(vi)Coal
(vii)Wind Energy
- Energy Conservation Measures
(a)Construction of more Dams
(b)Making effective Policies
(c)Exploring new resources of coal and Gas
(d)Awareness regarding careful usage of Energy at home sector
- Conclusion
Looking forward for comments
May Allah Bless Us All
Regards
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