Following is a critical analysis to point out flaws/lacking in your attempt with an intent of improvements.
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Originally Posted by hira6
1) CORRUPTION:
B A Social evil.
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I don't know what you mean by this "B A Social evil", looking vague, either you want to include it in introduction or where?
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2 ) CAUSES:
Lack of comittment.
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Lack of commitment to what? Again vague, try to be specific and focused.
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Elected representatives bribes the poor.
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Elected representatives bribes the poor
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Unwillingness to what? Be specific.
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Difficult to meet both ends meet.
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Difficult to meet both ends meet
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Economic Pressures?
No proper use of budget? Is it a cause??
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FIGHT AGAINST THE OCTOPUS OF CORRUPTION.
Good governance.
Supervision.
Comittment.
Honest representative.
Hionest bureaucrates.
Willigness.
Proper accountability.
Guidance of QURAN.
Social, political and economical justice.
No discrimination.
No economic pressures.
Proper usage of budget
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You have completely missed the institutional responses to corruption in Pakistan. Discuss in detail the anti-corruption strategies, agencies and mechanism in Pakistan before independence, after independence, from era to era, and put special emphasis on: The National Anti-Corruption Bureau (NAB). Discuss the ineffectiveness and lacking of anti-corruption strategies, agencies and mechanism in coping the corruption in Pakistan.
Your attempt is not up to mark but the positive point is that you have tried it. Keep trying and practicing.
Best of luck