Dear,I don't know the cause of your suffering and pain but i know how it feels when you are in such a trouble.
But why taking this trouble on your heart?why are you torturing yourself.
If your troubles are bcoz of some ppl,anyone,just forget them.You are so young,so talented,why waste your life on such unworthy ppl.
If someone don't care,just stop caring...no need to make your life hell.
No one cares if you suffer or your are happy,it is only you who can make your life or ruin it.You need to take charge of it..
It feels great when you spend your life on your own terms.
ppl will eventually adjust,you don't compromise.
i ,once,was in such a pain like you but by dint of luck got advice from a worthy person.
i am not an authority and not in a position to suggest you anything suitable enough but i will suggest you to try to pray five times a day and read Qur'an-e-pak with translation.Trust me,you will find so much peace you have never felt before in life.HE listens,everything,we just can't hear him.HE talks to us.
i just couldn't stop myself after reading your post.
Hope to see a better A.W.S in a few days.