"jo pochta he wo 1 mint k lye bewaqoof bnta he jo ni pochta poori zindagi bewaqoof rehta he.....!)

LMAO . Hilarious but true !

Never give a new idea in the conclusion.Just conclude u're essay in the conclusion as the word implies. You have given a few headings in the conclusion not mentioned above in u're essay.This is what i learned from my teachers that never come up with something new in u're conclusion. It ain't a mistake, it's a blunder. Plus i felt that u're ideas are fine but u were unable to make a suitable outline- there is excessive use of bombastic words