You are going in wrong direction pal.

After reading your post what i can only work out is that you need scholarship and not that you are worthy of A scholarship.

Look friend,there is a harsh and competitive world out there and such decisions as awarding scholarships are made strictly on the basis of merit.There are hundreds of thousand of needy students out there including the students in U.K itself.Need is not something that distinguishes you from others.rewrite your SOP on the following lines.

First of all show the panel your worth and competence by producing your achievements and awards achieved in your academic career.

Secondly show your vision to the panel in the field you are applying for scholarship.You can include the professionals you are inspired from for choosing such and such field.And show them the contributions that you think you can make in that particular field with the help of you degree in cardiff.Tell them why you chose Cardiff by highlighting there contribution in the field you are applying for.

For example if your chosen field is commerce than you can begin by writing the following paragraph:

Hermes, the son of Zeus is the God of commerce in Greek mythology. He is highly revered and praised for circulating wealth on our planet. Today nobody pays tribute to him because his job has been taken by people like you. Ordinary mortals equipped with principles of science and mathematics have made Hermes redundant.

Why don't you mention what got you in Commerce in the first place. Commerce is the engine of modern human society without it the economy cannot function. Show interest in your subject.

You can mention the advancements in commerce since the rise of humans. I'm sure at some point in time two tribes must have decided to trade animal hides and weapons to boost well being of their members. Since then many advancements have been made in your field. Please read academic papers in your discipline and mention them in your SOP.

Thirdly demonstrate your need for a scholarship.

The panel will assess your application in many different respects and also in comparison with others.So, a well written SOP can really make a difference.

Also look for guide on writing SOP on cardiff university website and on other online sources.Just nail it bro.Good Luck.

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