English Essay is a paper in which the choice of the essay really matters a lot. English Essay along with English Precis & Composition is one of those papers where the aim of the FPSC is to eliminate a large number of candidates. These are essentially filter exams. In my opinion, it was essentially a bad choice to do this essay as it is such a controversial topic. In consecutive years similar essays or essays involving similar issues have been thrown up by the paper-setter just to invite a majority of students to attempt them. Even if the content is right, expression is good, your ideas may or may not find approval of the examiner. From the outline presented by you, your essay is lopsided and typical in condemning the West for all the ills faced by the Muslim world and addressing the "responsibilities of Muslim Ummah" (as was expressly required by the examiner) only at point no. 12 and 13. Additionally, it was really a bad and self-contradictory choice to end your essay with a quote from Gen. Musharraf, a much-hated and controversial figure nowadays in Pakistan (perhaps even the examiner might consider you a great chamcha of Musharraf). Remember, Mush is himself considered a puppet of the West and your attempt to first malign the West and then use of a quotation from a puppet of the West may not be much appreciated by the examiner. Sorry mate for being so harsh on your essay, but better luck next time.