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Old Monday, April 01, 2013
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Ahmed Faisal Ahmed Faisal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aimen khakwani View Post
1-Introduction.

2- Facts:- A published global survey that lists Pakistan as the third worst country in the world for women.

3- Problems faced by women of Pakistan
• Domestic violence.
• Dowry abuse.
• Acid throwing.
• Head and eye brow shaving
• Vani.
• Watta Satta.
• Marriage with Quran.
• Sexual harassment.

4- Factors behind the Poor status of women In Pakistan:-

 Economic Causes :-
• Women Economic dependence on man.
• Limited access to Cash and credit.
• Limited access to education and training for women.
• Limited openings to employment in formal and informal sector.

 Political Causes;-
• Lack of implementation of laws.
• Inadequate representation of women in Politics.
• Insensitive treatment by Police and Judiciary.

 Socio Cultural Factors:-
• Pakistan a Patriarchal society.
• Illiteracy.
• Poverty.
• Misrepresentation of Islamic teachings. (belief in the inherent superiority of males.)
• Heinous Cultural practices
 Effects of the Poor status of women in Pakistan :-
• Poor economic development of the country.
• Lack of trust on Government.
• Social unrest.
• Feeling of deprivation among women.

 Strategies to bring the change in the condition of women ;-

• Education.
• Role of government.
• Media.
• Role of religious leaders.
• International community.

 Conclusion

Introduction:-

In modern societies, man and woman both(the both man and women) are evaluated and entertained by equal rights. They work together for the betterment of their societies. They(; and" connect the previous sentence with the next one by semi colon and put and after it so that sentence looks more better) play an eminent role in the development of the country. But( remove but) unfortunately, women in Pakistan live in a(that) world which is structured by strict religious, family and tribal customs. They are subjected to discrimination on a daily basis. They face various forms of violence in every aspect of life. In fact, the chief factor behind the brutality against women in Pakistan is the economic dependence of woman on man. Furthermore, there are also some economic, political, socio-cultural, religious factors which make the women subservient to men in Pakistan. Moreover, Pakistan usually operates under rigid patriarchal system where women are compelled to work under the dominance of men. These factors not only affect the state of mind of woman but also hinder the economic development of the country. However,(crying need for the hour is that) Government machinery should focus on the education of women to enhance the status of women in Pakistan. Pakistan cannot become a prosperous country in the world if half portion of the population(until half of the portion of Population)i.e women not given their due share.
Your writing style is good, but I have a little suggestion for you. After a cursory glance I observed that your Introduction does not truly represent your outline. Secondly, you need to work on your punctuations, transitional words and sentence structure.
Good Attempt...
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