Thread: Evaluate: 'Call no man happy till He is dead'
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Old Thursday, August 08, 2013
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Originally Posted by sabahatbhutta View Post
Thanks a lot for your response.
If you could make corrections to the highlighted mistakes I'll be obliged. "Than" was a typing error.
First paragraph caters the whole life of man. Last line of first paragraph says: "His needs and greed keeps on increasing with his rising age and he weeps cries and mourns over all his lost desires."
Yes I need to work upon the first line. I think I should start with: "Man's life is full of sorrow and melancholy. He can find happiness nowhere in this world."
And then should continue with the original transcript. will it work?
Examples like quotations?
Yes I will try to avoid redundancy.
I thought my ending was not up to mark.



Really nice.


-- There are three words which are misused and confused.
1. Loose
2. Loss
3. lose

Loose means, not tied or fixed.
Loss means, disadvantage.
lose means, to lose something.

You had to use LOSE.

--Enter is not followed by any preposition. He entered the world of.....

--His needs and greed KEEP on..... Needs and greed should have plural verb.

-- It is good line, indeed. You should make other lines more better. Connect each line and idea _ Don't derail the train of your ideas and stay on track.

-- Like I have given example of Prince, which is authentic. You shoud get any like that. You could give example of Buddha, he used to live in palaces with luxuries of life, then he left all suddendly, why and how, you have to prove your statement. This is the art. There are many examples. like, Ibrahim Ibne Adam, ETC.

-- Ending seemed to be good because you touched the topic in end.




Thanks.
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