Sunday, November 03, 2013
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Junior Member
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: somewhere in the middle of nowhere
Posts: 28
Thanks: 12
Thanked 13 Times in 11 Posts
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a few suggestions
Quote:
Those who know the value of present, never want to spoil his(their) time in hand. They always make use of the time, available , in fruitful way. These are the people who succeed in life. They have a promising future.
Take the example of an ordinary student. If he concetrates(concentrates) on his study, does not waste his time, and manages his today with proper planning , he surpasses all his colleagues. Even on big scale , those countries that organize theirselves(themselves), today , in a comprehnsive(comprehensive) way, rule the world. China is our close neighbour. Just after two year of Pakistan independence(two years after Pakistan got independece),in 1948 , it announced its independence. Since that time , all segments of society particpated(participated) in the uplift of China. They worked hard and respected their today, and now , they are leading the world in all spheres of life.
Time goes on with its own pace , waiting for none. It is we(up to us) to exploit it in its running position. History shows that those who understood the value of today, achieved their goals; but the rest all were thrown into oblivion by the future.
Naturally it is tempting to have rest. Different people have different attitude to this enticment(enticement). Lazy and dull minded are caught up by this temptation. But intelligent , active and reasonable persons are not prone to it . they make use of the time constructively for their future. It should not be considered as they don’t even take rest. Rather the very purpose of their efforts and hardwork is to achieve rest; the real and permanent rest. They perform all their activities in an organized way that give them ease in today and lasting rest in future.
People who betray their today ,(their)future do(does) not forgive them. They become so hopeless for their tomorrow that they even commit suicide. Life is vigorous , active and full of pleasure for those who take care of today.
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Very good effort.I have highlighted a few suggestions.Kindly take note of them.Your writing is coherent,which is a good sign.About the topic of the Essay,I would suggest,you focus more on the cause-effect relationship between taking care of the present moment and how it actually affects the future.For example, you can mention what happens if a student puts off his work consistently,the result is that the work load begins to pile up and eventually everything comes crashing on his head.In my opinion, its much better to illustrate your point through examples and analogies.
This was a good essay.Good luck!
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