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Old Tuesday, February 18, 2014
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Hamza Kahlon Hamza Kahlon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irum Siddiqui View Post
its alluring
& what a coincidence our outlines are somewhat same the difference is mainly of vocabulary.
i'm sharing my essay outlines on the same topic,please do tell me after judging my outlines whether i justified the topic or not.
My 1st attempt to write an essay directly in the Exam hall :P (i couldn't practice before )

Great Nations win without fighting

Introduction
"Jaw-Jaw is better than War-War" (Winston churchill)
(after describing the quote in 2 lines)
>Meaning: Great nations prefer peace and ultimately win all the battles which are needed for their progress.

Factors which make a Nation Great and winner:

a. Stable government (in which i described democracy and good governance)
b. Education a main key factor
c. Progressive economy
d.Independent Institutions
e.Dialogue to combat problems
f.Eradication of corruption
g.Devolution of power
e.High moral and ethical values

Example of Great Nations

1.China
2.UAE
3. Malaysia
4.Turkey

Standpoint for America

1. Hiroshima & Nagasaki
2.Iraq war
3.Afghan war
4: Withdrawal and Dialogue: good decision
5: drones in Pakistan

Consequences of Fighting:Loss

1.Loss of Money
2.Loss of human beings (both side)
3.Loss of humanity

Stance for Pakistan

>Dialogue is a good decision.
(discussed some factors to make her great nation and win like above examples)

Conclusion

-->Fighting results mainly loss on both sides.
--->So great nations are those which win without fighting.
Im no good at essays because i never tried to write any...EVER...and hence paying for such an attitude...but coming to your outline.....on its own...not comparing to e.g Bilal's....i think its good....but If i were attempting it using the same points...I would've probably skipped debating America and Pakistan cz it would be very tricky....While reading the outline i felt you suddenly straying away after giving examples of the Great nations....Maybe i wouldve wanted to specifically apply the Factors you mentioned above on the Nations.....consolidate my argument by using those examples....

In the end, in my NOVICE opinion, you might lose a few points in maybe straying or not entirely justifying the relevancy of a portion of your outline, but, I can say with confidence that your attempt was, inshAllah, better than 100's of other candidates...Baki rest is on the Almighty, what ever He ordains for you.
Goodluck

P.S. Interesting qoute by the way!
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Last edited by Hamza Kahlon; Tuesday, February 18, 2014 at 01:05 AM. Reason: Post script
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Hamza Kahlon For This Useful Post:
Docaries7 (Saturday, October 18, 2014), imranazeem (Saturday, November 08, 2014), Irum Siddiqui (Tuesday, February 18, 2014)