Quote:
Originally Posted by samreenz
Aslam o alaikum Moderators and Other Candidates.
I am Samreen, lecturer in NED University of Engineering and also planning to make my first and final attempt for CSS 2015. Besides that, I am also preparing my self for SPSC CCE. I have a little problem, as most of the job oriented candidates, of time shortage for preparation. One of my friend recommend me this site for guidance and preparation. I have gone through some of the contents of the web portal and apart from certain odds I find it beneficial and useful for my preparation. Due to my job nature and family responsibilities I couldn't be able to join English teacher. What I think is to put my materiel here for evaluation and positive criticism. Just to begin with, I put the timeline of an essay "Energy crises in Pakistan - Causes and Remedies". Can any senior member guide me the positive and negative points in the time line! I would be very thankful. It's my first attempt on the forum, so I am very excited about the comments. Regards.
Energy crises in Pakistan - Causes & Remedies
1. Introduction
2. Issue of energy in Pakistan
3. Fundamentals of energy resources
A. Hydro Power
B. Oil & Gas
C. Nuclear Power
4. Causes of energy crises
A. Massive difference in demand & supply
B. Absence of mega infrastructures
C. Aging of existing system
D. Exploitation of energy resources
E. Inefficient usage & Line losses
F. Absence of alternate energy resources
G. Corruption & Quality of Governance
H. Circular debt
5. Effects on society
A. Human Effects
B. Economic affects
6. Remedies
A. Energy conservation
B. Public awareness campaign & role of media
C. Use of alternate energy resources (wind, coal, solar, tidal, bio gas)
D. Need of national and provincial energy policy (Especially after 18th Amendment when constitution allows provinces to invest in alternate energy projects)
E. Regional Cooperation (IP pipeline)
F. Effective Governance
G. Invest on mega infrastructures
7. Conclusion
In addition, I want to know in case of energy crises should we take all forms of energy crises i.e. CNG, Petrol, Electricity or only stuck to electricity!
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First of all I shall appreciate you that at first attempt you made good outlines.Almost all the aspects of energy crisis you have covered.You have also used beautifully minimum words in outlines instead of making them loaded with awkward detail. Yet these outlines are not those one which may throw you out of boundaries of danger of failing in essay.If you write an essay on the base of these outlines,your essay will be still at risk in examiners point of view .
however, there is always room for improvement.Just focus on intro.Delete outlines of no.2 and 3.In place of them you should write "relevance of energy with development process" Or "enrgy_ a life line to progress ant prosperity"
Also you can write"Extreme shortage of energy".In place of causes of crisis you may write "factors contributing to....
In causes at first mention"utter failure of Mussarraf regime to install new generation plants"
At second mention "enigma of circular debt" instaed of putting it in the end..Add more powerful and energetic outlines in remedies..Gone are the days when examiners used to give marks to outdated outlines