This was my 2nd attempt. Most probably it will be my last; because I am a doctor and I am already halfway through with my preparation for post-graduate training exam due in November 2015. I hope to join my medicine training (in case I don't clear CE-2015).

I have been an avid reader of literature all my life, and a polished writer/blogger (as my readers frequently compliment). I gave first attempt during my final year of MBBS (2013 attempt). I appeared just because my father wanted me to, with a 10-day preparation. I thought I would fail every subject except the essay--ironically, I passed all except the essay! My over-confidence regarding my writing skills was the "probable" culprit, because I had not taken any guidance and went with my natural style of writing--which, unfortunately, was not liked by the essay examiner.

After my final year, I worked in the field (as House officer) and saw that professionals in Pakistan (especially doctors) have no future here. The pessimism drew me to CSS, and I prepared for it during my house-job in hope of a better future and career prospects.

I had expected to perform as per my potential (which is, by the grace of Allah, adequate). All papers went fine but I failed to rise up to the occasion once again in the essay. So, altogether, this makes the CSS-2015 journey another disappointment for me; because I had everything in me but couldn't perform on the day which mattered the most. I am not very hopeful, but still I would like to see what fate has in store for me in October.

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"Everything the light touches, is our kingdom."