Toru,
I agree wholeheartedly with your opinion regarding my essay. You elaborated quite well what I myself tried to point out.
I did, in fact, over-analyze things. But while making the outline, I took proper care (as per my own estimates) not to 'sound' too complex. In my defence (which is pointless now, but still I am doing it for the benefit of you guys so that you don't fall into the same pit) I would say that the outline and the basic structure of my essay revolved EXACTLY around the questions you have posed while telling us what you think should have been my essay's content.
Where do I think I fell short? I didn't replicate the structural simplicity of the outline in the essay. Just as you have quite aptly put it: over-analysis caused my downfall.
Again, all these are just assumptions. Maybe the examiner just saw my handwriting and wrote 20/100 on the top of my sheet. Maybe he didn't like my outline, simple or otherwise. Maybe he was offended by the fact that I began my essay with a quotation from Mr Gandhi. Or maybe he didn't know the meanings of the words/phrases like "paradigm shift", "nihilism" and "zeitgeist". But, gentlemen, if you can keep all these assumptions in mind to produce an essay which has no such 'assumed' shortcomings, that would certainly achieve the purpose of this thread. And I would love to see you guys succeed
P.S.
Please prepare equally well for
précis. Odd years (2013,2015) are for the essay, while even (2012, 2014, and probably 2016) are for the
précis. Islamiat also lurks somewhere among all these, waiting to stun it's unsuspecting victims!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justice
Toru bhai I must say aisa tow mene bi nai socha tha.. :P very well written bro..
Cogito bro hes right. you should have written the assumption that human rights were being abused in the world before the WOT (as you inferred from ''growing''). Merely inferring will not do. I think if you had stated your assumption in the second paragraph, which ofcourse most examiners should read to judge your caliber and level, atleast osay idea ho jaata that you have set the context according to the essay/or essay according to the context. whichever is correct haha.
|
I actually did that. In my second paragraph (after the introduction), I stated my assumption and then went on to prove it. And after that, I moved on to the next points. But this is immaterial now. I still failed