First of all I am also new in the horizon of CSS exam. You yorself asked for assessment about your meager effort. You yourself mean it. Please read my comments and yoy will find the meaning in between lines what I said. If you are again asking to assess your piece of writting. Then Ok, let's take a look at your blunders in composition;

As I stated above your title is neither appropriative nor artistic one. It is not a mare memoir of author, it comprises whole scenario of a civilization and its cultural tradition along with other things. Your title is relavent but not comprehensive.

Your first compond sentence is wrong.

The author's holiday dilemma came to an end when he,along with his friend,visited Qualla Boundary,The beautiful scenes were depicting the culture of the 18th century.,with mountains and old villages.

Itna barra sentense hota hay kya woh bhi ghalat? Take a look at it, how many mistakes are there including puntuations?

The beautiful scenes were depicting the culture of the 18th century.,with mountains and old villages

Again wrong sentense; the sentense is not conjucted correctly.


They met George whose shop was ridden with primitive gadgets,such as bayonets and tomahawks.

They met with George hoga.

He told the tourists about Bingo Weekend,a show arranged to earn money during tourism slump.

He told is wrong. You can not narrate here with TOLD.

I think it is enough and am not going to assess your write-up more.

Please don't take my words on heart. You wanted me to do that. If had I intention to criticize you, I would have done it in the very first comment. I am a new aspirant like you, I am also in learning stage. Instead of making wrong judgments, we should help out one another because no one is perfect in anything.