well said Orakzai brother...
Chintoo..... " dream is that which does not let you sleep in nights " dream is not that for which you have to compel yourself so assess either it is your dream or not... i think it is your dream.
As far as job is concerned, in life sometimes for your wishes, you have to put a few things at stack in order to get one thing for the other. In simple, try to make some arrangements with do and die intentions and leave job for a while and give it a full try if you are unable to balance the job and preparation. I know this is hard to leave the job now a days but after it has become issue of regret in your life. So do or die effort is needed.
your final concern is your motivation, for that matter you need a group. In this regard the most economic and easy way out is the liaquat library where you can find many aspirants of CSS.
For the issue of time, remember the second law of motion F=ma. This means force is directly propotional to the accelaration. The more you study and discuss the more you will be accelarated this means your first month is 30 days but your 2nd month will be of 60 days power due to acceleration... best of luck..

chintoo.....dear I will advise you to be pragmatic and practical in your approach , thinking and plans. I will like to share a quote of J.M.Power for you thtas sum up your problem. If you want to make you dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is to wake up. Stay blesed.

@chintoo...you are dreaming without planning.
dont worry you are having enough time. Finalize your optional subjects and give 6-7 days (its up to you how many days you require) to each subject. Study with full concentration. Be regular. Manage your time according to your job. Keep your spirits high. Pray regularly. InshaALLAH you will convert your dreams into reality.
stay blessed.

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“The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.”

After reading your disappointed post it can b concluded that you are dreaming but not doing anything to cherish your dreams.How dreams come true without sustainable effort and dedication? so instead of regret and repent of four years that have been wasted should not matter of your concern now because time waits for none. Put this guilt aside start with new passion and enthusiasm ( that is pre-requisite of css ) if it persist one more year will gone without any attainment. here all the relpies of your post will b encouraging and will surely boost your morale. so have faith, attune and dedicate yourself to only this dream only if you want to become a CSP.Dont look back and feel guilty of not doing anything now start prep and move ahead. Go green with your dreams.

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If I seem to boast more than is becoming, my excuse is that I brag for humanity rather than for myself.

Well dear life does not only depend upon dreaming you have to try to put it into practice. As you belong to field of chemistry so you are well aware of the fact that you can perform as much as experiments you can but finally a theory is developed. You have tried most of the subjects now you have to select a few subjects as per your past experience and sincere guidance from seniors/teachers.

Should a person like me leave thinking to be an officer?

Not at all, a person who does not fail is said to be not trying. You are trying that's really a good thing as you might have heard:

Girtay hen shahsawaar e medaan-e-Jang mein
Wo tifl kia giray jo ghutnoon ke bal chalay....

You should not consider it disappointment, this may be a blessing in disguise from the Almighty ALLAH. ALLAH always have better plan for us things may not start off well enough but the ending is usually better than we expect.
If you are facing hard times today, have faith and pray for a better tomorrow as you know that miracles do not happen in a day so you should not worry at all, but you must keep trying, have patience and faith in ALLAH.

How do people manage CSS preparation with Jobs?

Well its only possible with commitment and determination. I am also a chemist I have given second attempt of CSS you know I manage it alongwith full time govt job, Ph.D research work at University laboratories. The whole day goes in work and in the evening i spare 2,3 hours and i try to give maximum time on saturday/sunday to my study. You should also follow it I am confident that you can be successfull.

Should i wrap the drama of css from life and try something else now? Its 4 years that i am dreaming only and not putting myself in real sense. I tried but i failed and failed again and again.

You should not give up rather try with commitment, sincerity and dedication, otherwise its of no use. Have faith in almighty ALLAH and start from today, you still have more than 5 months. Wish you best of luck.

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Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude...Zig Ziglar

This forum is the best place where people help others sincerely and honestly......i am proud to be a member of the forum. Thanks to all who advised me in frustration........thanks again to all
i promise i will try my best

Bro what is your specialization in Chemistry?

I have done masters in Analytical chemistry. Currently I am writing my thesis of Ph.D in Analytical chemistry as its submission date is December 2012. After that insha'allah I'll concentrate fully on CSS-2013 attempt.

So you should not be worried at all, you should study slowly and gradually and whenever you get time you should utilise it properly.

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Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude...Zig Ziglar

You just have to start with making up your mind not because it was your father's dream but because you have the ability to do so. We only get frustrated when we find different sort of hurdles on our way and don't you think hurdles are to be managed?
It is so simple, just enjoy your job and then be relax when getting started with your preparation. You just have to take the first step in near future you will surely find your way.

As, slow and steady wins the race

Best of luck

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“Logic will get you from AtoZ;imagination will get you everywhere.”

You are not alone. Iam in the same condition. Dil par thora sa jabar karna hoga. Css chemistry se mushqil nahi. Make Dua for yourself. You are 1 step better than me in that you are in a state to write your condition. I couldn't even do that.