Plz Check my Expansion!

[Maha Khan]

IF WINTER COMES,CAN SPRING BE FAR BEHIND!
This line has been taken 4rm Shelley'sfamous poem"Ode to the west wind".Winter is considered as the the season of hardships and troubles in the west.After this,Spring comes and European warmily welcome this period.
The basic theme behind this idea is that life is a mixture of joy and happiness.If there z a trouble,there is a comfort,if thr r immense clouds of disappointments,thr z also a ray of hope.
According to Holy Quran"Allah will not gyv u more pain beyond ur endurance"..at another place,the Lord says"Disoppointement is the greatest sin".so we should not lose heart in any miserable situation,cz Allah is always there to guide us,to help us and to console us.History reveals ths undeniable fact tht those persons who did not shun thr struggle even in thr darkest period had proved thmselvs as"Legends.those persons were the "Pioneers"of any "Revolution".whn Muslim of the subcontinent started thr movement for the achievement of a seperate homeland,thy were in so pithatic circumstances.thy had no means,no leadership,and no plateform 4rm whr thy could express thr demands.thy continued thr efforts,struggled hard,united thnselves and at last the Omnipotent blessed thm with the Land of Pure-Pakistan..But one should not only adopt "wait and see"policy in his tribulent period"God help those who help thmselves".."Hard work"is an essential criteria 4 any dramatic change in lyf as thr z no shortcut to success in the world.
Today,all Muslim Countries are under the deep clouds of darkness and disoppintement.we cn say tht "Winter"period hs prevailed in all the islamic countries,whereas all the western coutries r enjoying thr suny and shinning "Spring"season.the dire need of the hour is that the Muhammadians shuld recognize thr capabilities and potentials.with the recognization of thr charcteristics,thy could be able to bring "Spring"season in thr own lands.
to pen off the discussion,we can say tht lyf z an amazing blend of joys,pleasures,grief and sorrows,if thr were no existence of unhappiness,thn nobody could understand the real worth of happiness."Nature favours the Bold",so if a person wants to turn his gloomy winter season into the suny spring season,thn he should only work hard as it is the remedy of all pains.

[rishzzz]

This line has been taken 4rm Shelley'sfamous poem"Ode to the west wind".Winter is considered as the the season of hardships and troubles in the west.After this,Spring comes and European warmily welcome this period.(Sentence Structure needs modification)
The basic theme behind this idea is that life is a mixture of joy and happiness(replace and put some gud adjectives).If there z a trouble,there is a comfort,if thr r immense clouds of disappointments,thr z also a ray of hope.
According to Holy Quran"Allah will not gyv u more pain beyond ur endurance"..at another place,the Lord says"Disoppointement is the greatest sin".so we should not lose heart in any miserable situation,cz Allah is always there to guide us,to help us and to console us.History reveals ths undeniable fact tht those persons(skip it) who did not shun thr struggle even in thr darkest period had proved thmselvs as"Legends.those persons were the "Pioneers"of any "Revolution"(reread it its not comprehensible).whn Muslim of the subcontinent started thr movement for the achievement of a seperate homeland,thy were in so pithatic circumstances.thy had no means,no leadership,and no plateform (redundant usage of no)4rm whr thy could express thr demands.thy continued thr efforts,struggled hard,united thnselves and at last the Omnipotent blessed thm with the Land of Pure-Pakistan..But one should not only adopt "wait and see"policy in his tribulent period"God help those who help thmselves".."Hard work"is an essential criteria 4 any dramatic change in lyf as thr z no shortcut to success in the world.
Today,all Muslim Countries are under the deep clouds of darkness and disoppintement.we cn say tht "Winter"period hs prevailed in all the islamic countries,whereas all the western coutries r enjoying thr suny and shinning "Spring"season.the dire need of the hour is that the Muhammadians shuld recognize thr capabilities and potentials.with the recognization of thr charcteristics,thy could be able to bring "Spring"season in thr own lands.
to pen off the discussion,we can say tht lyf z an amazing blend of joys,pleasures,grief and sorrows,if thr were no existence of unhappiness,thn nobody could understand the real worth of happiness."Nature favours the Bold",so if a person wants to turn his gloomy winter season into the suny spring season,thn he should only work hard as it is the remedy of all pains.

well i have read ur 1st para, you had good content but sentence structure, spell mistakes and redundancy has made it average....like u used there on n on and in a sentence u used 3 tymz no

Paragraph writing is one of the difficult parts of Paper and i also commit mistakes in it.....You need practice....

hop u didn mind

[irfan_ali]

If winter comes, can spring be far behind

Happiness and sorrows are the part of one’s life. If one is facing the troubles at one time, one may be enjoying the life at the other moment. A spring is sure to succeed the winter. This is inevitable, and a fact of life. The Muslims of India lived under the tyrannical rule of British for more than a century. But eventually they got freedom. Americans got independence from British colonial power and now they are living a prosperous and sovereign life. To every disappointment there is hope. In the times of hardships one must not lose his hope. This is a fruitful lesson which humans have learnt from the history. The days of political instability and a plethora of crises would not live forever. The nation of Pakistan would once get rid of all troubles and its people would be able to live a happy life. However, they must not lose hope because trouble is not eternal but temporary. On the other side, there are some pre-requisites to fulfill. One has to be patience and enduring. One needs to fight difficulties with perseverance and firm determination. Finally there would be success, prosperity and happiness. Where there is a will there is a way. With their will power, human beings could overwhelm any evil. Any journey is half covered when one is firmly decided. But any disappointment could darken the future and distance the victory. So the lesson is, troubles are shorter and temporary, and the days of peace are sure to follow the days of troubles.

[aneeqa]

If winter comes, can spring be far behind..
Life is the blend of tribulation and plainsailing. If wretchedness comes , it is obvious unceremonious also follows. so, one should firm with optimistic approach, rather than being pessimist, hoping for righteous. History witnessed , our Holy prophet Hazrat Muhammad(S.A.W) had to shoulder and suffer tough time against agnostics and the time came when our Holy Prophet (S.A.W) was triumphant. As one has beautifully said that every dark night follows by bright morning. Therefore, we should accept the hardships of life with open arms and to cope with them in dexterous manners. Difficulties make a man strong and teach a lot. It is also evident from history that soviet republics was withdrawn forcefully by America from Afghanistan and crushed badly, but now Russia has made herself so strong again, in collaborating with many other strong countries like China and Iran and now these countires poses threat to America. so we conclude that impecuniousness inculcate and enable us to restore our adrift position in coming future that may be glaring and bright. As going back to the beautiful sentnce again, "Every dark night follows by bright morning".

[Sabah Hunzai]

Originally Posted by aneeqa

If winter comes, can spring be far behind..
Life is the blend of tribulation and plainsailing. If wretchedness comes , it is obvious unceremonious ( it is also a negative word use a positive one like prosperity)also follows. so, one should firm with optimistic approach, rather than being pessimist, hoping for righteous pessimist can't hope. History witnessed , our Holy prophet Hazrat Muhammad(S.A.W) had to shoulder and suffer tough time against agnostics and the time came when our Holy Prophet (S.A.W)[I]use pronoun [/I]was triumphant. As one has beautifully change expression for quoting something said that every dark night follows by bright morning. Therefore, we should accept the hardships of life with open arms and to cope with them in dexterous manners. Difficulties make a man strong and teach a lot. It is also evident from history that soviet republics was withdrawn forcefully by America from Afghanistan and crushed badly, but now Russia has made herself so strong again, in collaborating with many other strong countries like China and Iran and now these countires poses threat to America. so we conclude that impecuniousness inculcates [B]what? [/B]and enables us to restore our adrift ](do you really know its meaning) position in coming future that may be glaring and bright. As going back to the beautiful sentnce again, "Every dark night follows by bright morning".

good effort
thougts are good
practice for sentence strucuture.

[aneeqa]

thnx a lot.. m really happy , u have checked my expansion and gave me good support..

[Arbab.Danish]

A nice attempt indeed, but viewing from examiner's poitn of view who are in search of mistakes.
I'll add with those mentioned by Sabah, so apart from those.

So one should be firm (as firm is not verb but a noun.)

History has witnessed (its not a grammatical mistake but this gives a better sense to sentence.

Do u feel you also wrote down conclusion in the centre of your para.(Therefore, we should accept the hardships of life with open arms and to cope with them in dexterous manners. Difficulties make a man strong and teach a lot) (May be its not a mistake, but again to me it doesn't give good impression)

tough times against agnostics (again not a grammatical mistake but in my mind here times suits better than time.

And lastly i would not suggest to include such a controversial example as USSR. Russia is still far behind from its position which was in 1970's. Such example is better for learning the lesson from history, because The Afghan adventure was self inflicted. They indulged in that by their own desire.
In short to me that is purely controversial thing. There could be many examples from history. Like many American presidents. Like Jinnah himself..Like creation of Pakistan after so many troubles.

Bright Morning follows dark night.

or

Dark night is followed by bright morning.

about times, about USSR example, about a short conclusion in the middle, about history has witnessed, these are just my suggestions not expert opinion.

Regards with the hope you'll take it positively.

[KAWISH]

Originally Posted by Maha Khan

IF WINTER COMES,CAN SPRING BE FAR BEHIND!
This line has been taken 4rm Shelley'sfamous poem"Ode to the west wind".Winter is considered as the the season of hardships and troubles in the west.After this,Spring comes and European warmily welcome this period.
The basic theme behind this idea is that life is a mixture of joy and happiness.If there z a trouble,there is a comfort,if thr r immense clouds of disappointments,thr z also a ray of hope.
According to Holy Quran"Allah will not gyv u more pain beyond ur endurance"..at another place,the Lord says"Disoppointement is the greatest sin".so we should not lose heart in any miserable situation,cz Allah is always there to guide us,to help us and to console us.History reveals ths undeniable fact tht those persons who did not shun thr struggle even in thr darkest period had proved thmselvs as"Legends.those persons were the "Pioneers"of any "Revolution".whn Muslim of the subcontinent started thr movement for the achievement of a seperate homeland,thy were in so pithatic circumstances.thy had no means,no leadership,and no plateform 4rm whr thy could express thr demands.thy continued thr efforts,struggled hard,united thnselves and at last the Omnipotent blessed thm with the Land of Pure-Pakistan..But one should not only adopt "wait and see"policy in his tribulent period"God help those who help thmselves".."Hard work"is an essential criteria 4 any dramatic change in lyf as thr z no shortcut to success in the world.
Today,all Muslim Countries are under the deep clouds of darkness and disoppintement.we cn say tht "Winter"period hs prevailed in all the islamic countries,whereas all the western coutries r enjoying thr suny and shinning "Spring"season.the dire need of the hour is that the Muhammadians shuld recognize thr capabilities and potentials.with the recognization of thr charcteristics,thy could be able to bring "Spring"season in thr own lands.
to pen off the discussion,we can say tht lyf z an amazing blend of joys,pleasures,grief and sorrows,if thr were no existence of unhappiness,thn nobody could understand the real worth of happiness."Nature favours the Bold",so if a person wants to turn his gloomy winter season into the suny spring season,thn he should only work hard as it is the remedy of all pains.

aoa dear u did a great job in accuratly grasping the thought of the topic n then so nicely elaborating it w/ sound examples n logics.just work on making ur expression more impressive n practise the use of various adjectives....
Regards

Originally Posted by irfan_ali

If winter comes, can spring be far behind

.........1-"The nation of Pakistan would once get rid of all troubles and its people would be able to live a happy life"....... 2- "troubles are shorter and temporary"......

1-here may be u should rather suggest a way out
2-this should not be said,coz this is not what the topic connots.anyhow elsewhere in ur expansion the concept is clear
Regards
Noor

[aneeqa]

thx for analysing my expansion critically.. :-)

saba and arbab would u suggest me , if i want to quote some one which type of expression i should use???

[Arbab.Danish]

Originally Posted by aneeqa

if i want to quote some one which type of expression i should use???

I didn't get what you mean by 'which type of expression'.
and more over frankly speaking i don't know specific things. And also I think what you want to know, I don't know about that well. so I hope some one else will help you about this.

While quoting i usually start like this.

Acording to person/books/ source "............................................. "
or
As he tells/says "....................."
or
As told by "................."
But I'm not sure which one is better way.