he who can conceal his joys is better than he who hides his grieves..

[khAdijAA]

i am unable to write anything on this topic.help is needed

[waqas virk jat]

Let me try to make it easier for you by simplifying the topic.

Why do people hide grief?
People hide grief fearing the negative perception it would create in the minds of others. If a failure of a man is made public , the man is subjected to criticism as a failure. This fear coerces him to hide his grief or failure.They also tend to hide grief dreading the prospects of people making fun of him. Such people don't have a life of their own , rather they follow a life based on the thinking of others around them.

Why the one who can conceal joy is better?

One who can conceal joy isn't concerned about people's perception about him. He is mentally strong , confident and hopeful. He doesn't make his success or joys public. He doesn't brag about his joy or achievements . He is not pompous , showy or a passive follower of other's thinking. He is content with himself. Just as a lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of a sheep; such people rarely care if people hail their joy or success. Moreover, concealing joy is better because it may spark jealousy or envy in the hearts of other people which can prove to be detrimental and fatal. In addition , concealment of joy, happiness or success requires patience and tolerance. Therefore, a man who can conceal joy is better because he is also tolerant and patient.

Suggestion : Failures , sorrows and grieves are a part of man's life . Concealing these bears no fruit. In fact, it compounds the dejection and gloom of man. Sharing failures or grieves may invoke criticism from others. But criticism can be a blessing in disguise and may move man to action- (Remember sweet are the uses of adversity). Sharing grief or sorrows can also help man in attainment of advice from wise men.

[soft rock]

Joy/pleasure/happiness is an emotions giving you some sense of satisfaction.When you are happy because of a certain happening happened to you, or you remind a happy moment of your past life, or you visualize /hope for a good happening in the future you take the impression of satisfaction/pleasant feeling, though the hope of joy concerning your future depends upon the basis of that joy you expect in the future. If you are expecting something based on a logical reason, I mean , for example ,this year in case of CSS results 2014, the candidates who appeared in the exam is obvious mostly would expect success mostly, some would unsure about their results, and others would expecting blatant failure. In the third case of this example it depends on the person whether s/he was easy minded or had some unpleasant feeling). And after the result of written part of CSS of this year, those who turned out successful proved that their success(joy/pleasure/happiness) had some logical reason and that reason was their right preparation and the proper way they attempted papers up-to the mark. The memory from your past life (second implication of the given example) giving you the sense of pleasure , seems clearly can last long not more than the one you might be experiencing in your present life ( first case of the cited example). And that joy of present life depends on your mental maturity how much productive you consider your current joy. For instance passed of the current CSS 2014 written part aspirants , those who gets allocations can think of job security , (in a violence ridden country),in the contemporary moment, while those who get no allocations, their joy will obviously cease the time they find themselves non-allocated.

Now the question is how one can conceal his "Joy" ??? Is it a right concept or wrong. Its obvious that you might not talk specifically about your joy but during that time when you feel joy, after you take the impression of satisfaction and happiness..the way you move, the way you talk, the way you take interest in others, the way your personality seems, the way you react, the way you look at things, the way you hear to others,and the way you encounter people in all other possible forms ...obviously reveals that you are in a pleasant mood. And that's the reason mostly perceived by others, the person who experience "Joy" is told that .."You look happy"..a common daily phrase. No one can deny it. So, your statement.and then its first."he who can conceal his joys is better than he who hides his grieves"..has the wrong first part "."he who can conceal his joys" because this part "he who conceals his joys" proved odd to nature like the second one part of your statement,seems clearly, ,"better than he who hides his grieves" All speaking in a friendly tone.

Now the second half part of your statement, which presents the emotion of "grief/sadness/unpleasant feeling", one can feel depends on the intensity of that sadness. I mean some grieves are temporary while others are chronic depending on the quality, of sadness/grief,i would say", same like the quality of a joy you experience during a specific spell of time, and as the "Joy" can not be concealed , perceptive observers can tell easily, likewise the " grief" can not be hidden, as it takes you "take the impressions" same way like you use to do it during the time you experiencing "Joy"..But the difference is that its a negative emotion and gives you opposite sensations to all what you experience during a "Joy".

Grieves may include any loss in the present, like the death of a loved one, the fear of failure about a thing/event concerning future, or you may feel grieved when you remind a sad happening from your past life.

So as the "Joy" specifically can not be hidden , likewise the "grief can not be hidden specifically" from the term "specifically i mean the exact duration during which you feel grieved..So its obvious after finding it proved and easy to say that your statement is wrong, when you present it to people who tempts to answer you really.


I welcome you with some good topic over this forum as a sister. If I encountered the topic I`ll try to take time out for replying, if you have any difficulty about writing on any topic.


Regards and thanks for sharing your view.

[khAdijAA]

Thanks to both members for replying..
well i analysed the statement in an entirely different way..i applied the idea in various aspects like social religious and economic.if we consider a man being a social animal and part of a society than we find different kinds of persons some hiding their grieves and giving posture of contended persons in all circumstances while some wd be adopting the strategy of concealing joys in order to gather sympathies.it is a matter of utmost confusion as to decide who is better.nothing can be said with certitude.similarly being a part of religion we are expected to hide our grieves and to share our joys with others.by economic aspect i related the idea with the kind of people who hide their real economic condition e.g.businessmen for their vested interests and for the benefits of organizations they belong.so joys and grieves can be related to many things but in any case it is inhuman to exploit others or to gather benefits at the expense of others.
it is just the summary of expansion i wrote.i will keep on sharing here other topics as well.comments would be obliged.

[soft rock]

Originally Posted by khAdijAA

Thanks to both members for replying..
well i analysed the statement in an entirely different way..i applied the idea in various aspects like social religious and economic.

See...

Originally Posted by khAdijAA

if we consider a man being a social animal and part of a society than we find different kinds of persons some hiding their grieves and giving posture of contended persons in all circumstances while some wd be adopting the strategy of concealing joys in order to gather sympathies.it is a matter of utmost confusion as to decide who is better.nothing can be said with certitude.

Human Being is called social being/social Animal in the sense what i said in the upper post. if you do not even speak what you make your tongue avoid, your other aspects of personality/ not only physical decode your feelings ( of joy/grief)..which can not only be limited to your posture.

And the difference from person to person is not making any sense to say that equality fades away after all (and no need you may find there to certify who is better or worse. Even you may not remark a person with bad words if s/he is black in case,( as an example).

You talked about fake posture, So fake posture is figured out easily, as I said perceptive people can only tell what a person is feeling and how s/he looks like. As I cited the example of a candidate who if turns out pass after the final result result of this year of exam. Foe example if your younger brother turns out an appointee, with whom you are familiar with your birth. How come he can conceal his happiness, and that what i all absolute/ specific joy.

Originally Posted by khAdijAA

similarly being a part of religion we are expected to hide our grieves and to share our joys with others.

Being follower of the religion of Islam or in your terms being part of the religion of Islam, if we are told through Islamic injunctions to hide our grieves and to share our joys. It simply reflects the fact that in case the people around you who mostly be your close relatives. it seems obvious that we might care about those who are sensitive about us. As far as the reality of that Islamic principle is concerned"hide your grieves and share your happiness"..we might easily prove that "" all human are not alike"..in other places you have been asked by Islam to seek out help. and help is sought in the time of need ,(eeling of joy i don`t think can have the need of help ,from the perspective of the person who is experiencing it,) as much as he can have it in the time of depressed feelings. So its all about the care of perceptive and less perceptive people from Islamic point of view. If you share your cause of /sadness with a person who is sensitive about you, but don`t have the wit, possibly, to help you fix you grief/problem, like i cited the example of a death of loved one, No one can hide it ,after the Islamic funeral a touch of religion. This way u may not find a fix to your specific grief.

And as far as the other side of her is concerned like we are told to seek out help..for example if you to get sicked in a problem and can not find solution to that problem, a problem that might seek , ijtihad/qiyas and need some Islamic scholarly help, a problem that you don`t feel the need to share with those around you, until there someone nearby( a close relative) to you is an Islamic scholar , who is capable of doing ijitihad/capable of providing you with an analogical solution you need. Otherwise seeking out help about such kind of matters from a person who cares and can not provide help is a cause epidemic grief and can the sensitive ,(about you), person, with whom you share your grief can only make him/her feel depressed like you...and that's one of the possible reasons you are taught through Islam to hide your grief.

Originally Posted by khAdijAA

by economic aspect i related the idea with the kind of people who hide their real economic condition e.g.businessmen for their vested interests and for the benefits of organizations they belong.

In the economic sphere if we cite the example of corrupt judge at a Pakistani courts they may take bribe to provide an unlawful pleasure/acquittal , same like s/he feels pleasure at the expense of your black money, and the deceived party is saddened , no one can say that that deceived party been economically beaten can not be depressed/sad.

Originally Posted by khAdijAA

so joys and grieves can be related to many things but in any case it is inhuman to exploit others or to gather benefits at the expense of others.

after you been Islamic and been grateful makes you be relate joy to most things rather than many, even its asked by Islam to be patient in the the time of suffering and be grateful.( Chance to knock a another topic, but be try to be in accordance with the context of your topic )

Originally Posted by khAdijAA

it is just the summary of expansion i wrote.i will keep on sharing here other topics as well.comments would be obliged.

You Welcome and thanks for commenting ..


Regards

[soft rock]

You talked about fake posture, So fake posture is figured out easily, as I said perceptive people can only tell what a person is feeling and how s/he looks like. As I cited the example of a candidate who if turns out pass after the final result result of this year of exam. For example if your younger brother turns out an appointee, with whom you are familiar with since your birth. How come he can conceal his happiness, and thats what i call absolute/ specific joy that he might experience.

Been follower of the religion of Islam or in your terms been part of the religion of Islam,