seniors plz evaluate my precise

[majid rehman]

of all the characters of human nature envy is most unfortunate not only the envious person wish to inflict misfortune and do so whenever he can with impunity.but he is also himself rendered unhappy by envy,instead of driving pleasure from what he has he drives pain from what others have.if he can he deprives others of their advantages, which to him is as desirable as to secure the same advantages himself.if this passion is allowed to run riot it becomes fatal to all fatal to all excellence, and even the most useful exercise of exceptional skill.why a medical man go to see his patients in a car when the laborer has to walk to his work?why the scientific investigator be allowed to spend his time in a warm room when others have to face the inclemency of the elements?why should a man who possess some rare talent of great importance to the world be saved from the drudgery of his own housework?to such question envy finds no answer.fortunately,however,there is in human nature a compensating passion,namely that of admiration.whosoever wishes to increase human happiness must wish to increase admiration and to diminish envy.what cure is there for envy?for the saint there is cure of selflessness,though even in the case of saints envy of other saints is by no means impossible.but,leaving saints out of account,the only cue of envy in the case of ordinary man and women is,happiness and the difficulty is that envy is itself a terrible obstacle to happiness.but the envious man may say:"what si the good of telling me that the cure of envy is happiness?i can not find happiness while i continue to feel envy,and you tell me that i can not cease to be envious until i find happiness."but real life is never so logical as this.merely to realize the cause of one's own envious feeling is to take a long step towards curing them.


My precise

The worst character of human nature is envy.an envious person not only harms others but also he himself feels pain because of envy.he tries to deprive other of their advantages,for he regards others disadvantages as his advantages.Moreover,an envious person finds no answers to certain questions that why some deserving people enjoy certain advantages while others don't reach these benefits.Admiration is supposed to be the best human passion,but it is not the cure of envy.Then what is the cure?Saints answer 'selflessness'.However happiness is considered cure of envy,but difficulty is that t envy itself is great obstacle to happiness.To realize cause of envy is cure of envy.

[majid rehman]

dear friends and seniors it makes me feel immense pain that i am waiting for your comments but till no one has commented on my precise though there are 30 views.plz comment so i may be aware of my weaknesses.

[Alyosha]

Okay first the positive:
you've conveyed the gist of the original paragraph, so the main task accomplished yea!!

Now the weaknesses
"Then what is the cure?"
A question in the precise is a big no no

"reach these benefits"
Perhaps u meant reap these benefits

Where's the title?

[majid rehman]

it is so kind of u Alyosh thanx a lot for ur valuable evaluation.

the title may be
"Envoy-an obstacle to happiness"

[Erum Qureshi]

Dear seniors,
Assalam o alikum

I have made the precis for the paper of 2011. Please evaluate it. I ll b grateful

Title: Unhappiness;Causes and Cure
Psychologically, unhappiness can be due to several reasons including that one has might been suffering from ignorance causing inferiority complex in him. such people find satisfaction in drugs and drinks and they advice others too to follow them as they consider themselves on right. The only cure for them is guidance towards exploring new ways of happiness.Another kind of unhappy people are those who have been thinking on the nature and have got through the bitter reality of diminishing of everything. They are satisfied being unhappy.