PLEASE evaluate my thesis statement

[raja wasi]

EXPANDING OF I.T ; A CURSE OR BLESSING.
Inform technology has blessed the lives of human beings in various way.I.t has made it easier to convey message and cause over a shorter span of time ,reduced cost and time of delivery and connected the people of whole world in a single chain. at the same time I.T has made new ways of propagation a person or country towards vulnerable activities .Therefore human has acquired change in their livings ,so they must be thankful to I.t .Thus,expansion of I.T must be subjected to information security.

[BinteBilal]

Good. 👍🏻

However it would have been better if you made your stance a bit clearer,,,,, choosing blessing instead of curse that it,,,,,, that would have made it from good to great in my opinion,,,,,

[Assasin]

Originally Posted by raja wasi

EXPANDING OF I.T ; A CURSE OR BLESSING.
Inform technology has blessed the lives of human beings in various way.I.t has made it easier to convey message and cause over a shorter span of time ,reduced cost and time of delivery and connected the people of whole world in a single chain. at the same time I.T has made new ways of propagation a person or country towards vulnerable activities .Therefore human has acquired change in their livings ,so they must be thankful to I.t .Thus,expansion of I.T must be subjected to information security.

Your thesis statement lacks both relevant content and strong expression .
Be concise ,brief and relevant in your thesis statement .
Most importantly ,clearly write which part of the argument you support (a blessing or a curse ? ).
You are using informal expression .
Be objective ,impartial and rational in your writing .Do not use i ,me ,they or any direct reference to anyone .
Be analytical and argumentative in your essay (by giving relevant and strong arguments).
Work on your grammar , expression and content .you will improve .
Good luck .

[raja wasi]

thanks for your words . i wll improve my mistakes next time

[Assasin]

Originally Posted by raja wasi

thanks for your words . i wll improve my mistakes next time

Consult Writing guide by Oxford .It will improve your expression in myriad ways .Moreover ,you will better understand how to write an argument .The book is available in pdf format.Just google it.